Is dating someone who's a different race okay?

I know not by WHOM u think it 'd be "stopped."
I have only been censored once
in several years of posting in this forum.


Maybe in your experience, the absence of censorship is "odd".

I find u to post in a very rude manner.
I am very close to censoring U,
by putting u on Ignore for using filthy language.
I WILL do so, if u continue to speak in so obscene a manner.

I have a pretty strong hunch
that u will indeed continue to be impolite and foul
and then I will put u on Ignore.

That 's how I see the future. Prove me incorrect. ( U will not.)





David

Again, very interesting question.
And again, let's be real. People do all sorts of things for all sorts of reasons.

As long as this is true:

I don't see anything wrong with her dating this boy for this reason.
That's why most people date people they date, isn't it- because this particular person makes that particular person feel more excited than another person would or could?

Just not that many words.

Oh, my, now it's British and Red Necks. What happened to Gracie's thread?

I can't speak for Chinspinner, but I've never let anything like that stop me before. I like to be called English, the same way that McTag likes to be called Scottish. We get loads of American telly over here, so we've got a fair idea what rednecks are. To me it always means the two guys at the end of Easy Rider, who shoot Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper.

We also get My Name Is Earl and Raising Hope if that helps redress the balance.

Well, Pemerson, Gracie's threads have been magnets for multiple, and I do mean multiple, posts by BillRM and OmSig. They're both on ignore for me now for a while, though I tolerate one more than the other, even like him. I say this as a person whom others may ignore. Anyway, it's hard to mess this thread up further, but I'm always glad to see other posters.

I don't think the new fellow, Chin, quite gets his surroundings yet, but there may be hope for him.

Ignoring is sometimes a fool's errand, as other people are highly attached to the Quote function, instead of trusting in the Reply button and it's clue of what post is being replied to.

I agree with you about that. But, in this instance, the mother isn't telling her child who she can love, she only voiced her preference about who she'd like to see her daughter date--and we're not sure why the mother has that preference. The mother knows this boy, Ty, she likes him, she has no objection to her daughter being friends with him. So, I'd guess the mother does not have all sorts of negative racial stereotypes about Ty--she already knows and likes him. It's something about the idea of the relationship shifting from just friendship to dating that appears to concern the mother, and we don't have enough info to know why that is the case.
It's interesting that you understand why a mother might not want her black son to date a white girl, and that her reasons might have nothing to do with racism

But, a mother of a white girl might fear for her daughter's safety if she dated a black male, for exactly the same reasons the mother of that black male has--the negative or racist reactions of other people which might harm their child. If that was the reason for opposing, or being hesitant about endorsing the relationship, I wouldn't view either the black mother or the white mother as being racist. Both would simply be trying to protect their children from some of the unfortunate and ugly realities of the surrounding culture.

Basically you and I are in complete agreement on the basic issue of inter-racial dating and marriage. And I think we can also agree that some opposition to it is based on racist attitudes. But, that doesn't mean that all opposition a parent, either a black parent or a white parent, might have to inter-racial dating is based on racism--there are other, considerably less malignant, misgivings a parent might have, particularly while their child is still in high school. Apart from worrying about harm to their child, they might simply not want their child involved in a relationship which potentially could be more stressful and more complicated because of the social reactions it might elicit from others. Maybe they feel that additional component--of social reactions to an inter-racial couple-- would distract their child from focusing on their grades and schoolwork, or create more disruption or conflict in their general social functioning in school.

Just as I think people are wrong to categorize any group, racial or otherwise, in terms of stereotypes, I think it's equally wrong to start conjuring up stereotypes of racists based on very little information about a person. Just because a mother says, "Can't you find any nice white boys to date?" doesn't mean the mother has racist feelings toward blacks or holds any negative racial stereotypes about the boy her daughter wants to date. Maybe this is this particular mother's way of saying, "Can't you make safer, less unconventional social choices, that won't rock anyone's boat?" Maybe this lady just doesn't like her daughter making waves. Maybe this mother wants her daughter to behave, and dress, and act, in generally conservative and conventional ways, and her daughter delights in defying her and driving her nuts, so they are always in a power struggle, and the daughter's latest choice of a boyfriend is just part of that. Lot's of things could be going on in this mother/daughter relationship, and that one, somewhat off-hand, remark by the mother may reflect more about her relationship with her daughter than on any personal feelings the mother has toward the boy, or that she has toward blacks in general.

Anyway, as I said, you and I are basically in agreement on the topic, and the general issues involved. I've just been trying to offer a slightly different perspective on why that mother might have said what she did. Had it been the black mother who said to her son, "Can't you find any nice black girls to date?" I'm not sure that people would be so fast to conclude she was a racist. And, for all we know, she may have said that to her son.

Just as an aside, on the issue of Obama and racism, I don't know whether you saw any of these news stories (there were many others), I'm posting them only FYI, I really don't want to digress on that topic:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/25/white-house-watermelon-em_n_169933.html
I believe that mayor was, appropriately, forced to resign as a result of the offensive e-mail.
This went on at Fox news more recently
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/06/open-and-revolting-anti-obama-racism-at-fox/240308/
And Morgan Freeman set off controversy just last night for voicing his opinion that elements in the Tea Party are racist.
http://blogs.wsj.com/speakeasy/2011/09/24/morgan-freeman-calls-tea-party-racist/

I discriminate in favor of the most attractive combinations thereof.





David

Well, u know, we are all keeping it alive.
We have not seen Gracie for a while.
I know not whether or not this thread has been abandoned by its author.

I have posted quite a few threads that died from inattention.
NO one, neither friend nor foe, posted anything to them.





David

Oh, I'm not complaining, I'd just like to get back to rednecks. Sometimes they can be women, as how the ladies used to hang their clothes on the line every day in the hot sun. Their necks grew permanently red.

Also, I used to ride horses, in this case, foxhunting, with a snobbish 50ish year old lady math teacher who thought she was some kind of blueblood (that's a real word, huh?)
She prided herself on looking much younger and said once she only put moisturizing cream on her face and neck, not skin care, no layers of expensive serums, et c.. Oh, it was so hard not to say, "But, Rosemary, your neck is not only red, but wrinkley and leathery as well."

People don't seem to answer my thread topics at all. Well, hardly. I think I'm not real good at that.

Yeah, Omsig is having a second childhood and has a lot of fun. Bill, I don't know which Bill is the real Bill. At times he doesn't have an accent.

Actually, Gracie writes good topics, and she's always there to answer back, keep it flaring.

I do.



When he gets too emotional, he forgets to put in the mistakes.
I 've been wonder Y he does that.
The only reason that I can think of is that he has more than one
indentity here and that he seeks to distinguish between them.

Its as if I decided to secretly add false indentities to the forum,
on the others I 'd not use fonetic spelling, in an effort to conceal my secret identity.
I am only GUESSING at that; I have no evidence other than the fony mistakes that we see.
Even if I guessed correctly, I have no idea what his other identities in this forum r; presumably folks who agree with him philosophically.





David

I have posted many topics in my civil rights-based quest
against discrimination as to WHO can freely defend his life
from predatory violence.

I believed that most of them were interesting,
based upon dramatic true events,
but most of them were born dead; perished from inattention, ignored to death.





David

I've quite a list of unanswered topics.. even a recent one about candy, that I was surprised no one at all liked.
What can I say, it happens. Some of mine are incoherent, me talking with myself and not being clear, and some are, frankly, brilliant from my view - so it goes.

I always read ya when I see ya, Pem. Keep on.

As long as firefly keeps trying to tell us that racism is ok as long as it fits his/her social conditioning, i think this thread will have some legs.

Good Show!

Have you ever considered that your definitions differ. Naturally, you favor your own.

I like Eorl, which is neither here not there, but something I want to say. In this case I differ with him. I think he is too - ufffff, black and white about the matter.

On the other hand, I think others are stretching it, that there is no racism happening with the mother's view, purported protection. I surely suspect some is there..
(Let me recommend people read Gladwell's Blink. But I thought that before I got into that book, hell, I'm older than Gladwell, the brat.)

Wiki: Racism is the belief that there are inherent differences in people's traits and capacities that are entirely due to their race, however defined...

Oxford: the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics, abilities, or qualities specific to that race , especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races.

Dictionary.com: a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement.

I think the problem here is that racism has been so long a part of our history that most people don't question just how deep it runs.

I think those reading my declarations that this is definately a case of blatant racism are assuming that i also think it's a capital crime. I don't, I think almost everyone has some racism in them, no matter how hard they try to avoid it, myself included, BUT...

I think we need to understand what racism is, and to recognise it for what it is, before we can even try to deal with it honestly.

I think you are too declarative and I said that before I saw your last post..

I'm not sure about you - have you lived in a multicultural mix? There is all sorts of stuff going on.

you are talking dictionary.