@firefly,
Quote:Racism, and racist attitudes were never confined to just the deep South in the U.S., they were just more obvious in that neck of the woods. And laws prohibiting inter-racial marriage in the U.S. were not completely struck down until 1967, which really isn't all that long ago.
I am aware of that Firefly.
Quote:While inter-racial dating is more common than it once was, and is generally viewed far more favorably than it once was, it still isn't very frequent, and it still can generate negative responses and reactions from others which can affect the couple involved--particularly in a high school. Identity issues are very prominent in that age group and there are strong peer pressures toward conformity, and peers subject each other to all sorts of judgments and forms of harassment, sometimes subtle, sometimes quite blatant.
I am aware of this too...but again, let's be real when we talk about why the young people might react this way as opposed to why an adult who is also a parent might react this way.
Yeah, the kids like to see everyone acting just like them - yes, and it's called peer pressure, and yes, it has a very strong influence on adolescent behavior.
But hopefully as one grows into adulthood and into their own skin and sense of individuality they develop the understanding that it's more important for a person to express his or her own personality, which means making their own decisions based on what they believe in or prefer as opposed to watching what their peers are doing and following suit.
This mother is an adult. She is a parent. Has she not learned yet that one person can't control who another person is attracted to or loves even if the other person is your own child?
And I'm sorry, but I have to say that putting parameters around and about who it is acceptable or desireable for your child to love based on the color of that person's skin sounds racist to me.
This boy Ty, goes to Gracie's school doesn't he? Unless he's bused in, that means he lives in the community. His father could be a lawyer just like Gracie's is. His mother might be a doctor for goodness sake.
They might all sit at the table and eat dinner together every night just like nice two-parent white families do.
Why is this mother automatically assuming that he doesn't come from a background similar to her daughter's? Because his skin is black - that must mean he can't, right?
Give me a BREAK. I don't know how else to tell you that I have worked in enough highschools to know that many of the black kids come from homes that are JUST LIKE the white kids homes - not all - but many.
So if a white parent automatically assumes that a black kid has got to come from a different and lesser (implied by the fact that she'd find it undesireable for her daughter to be involved with this boy on any serious basis) background based on the color of his skin - I'd call that biased and prejudiced.
Quote:And, while Gracie does live in California, a 2006 report by the Civil Rights Project at Harvard University found that California has the most segregated schools in the country--meaning that the races are not mingling all that much in the schools, possibly due to differences in income levels affecting residential patterns, or possibly due to racial groups choosing to cluster together in certain residential areas, or a combination of both. And Gracie has told us that the school she attends is overwhelmingly white, so an inter-racial couple in that environment is going to be unusual and is going to get noticed. And that does add a layer of social stress to their lives that a racially homogeneous couple might not experience. And Gracie has told us that this couple is already getting some reactions, like stares or remarks.
I didn't know this. I find it interesting and surprising. All I can tell you is that when we were thinking about where to move so that our children would likely feel the least exclusion and negative reaction due to their family situation, a black colleague of my husband's told him that California was the place he'd lived and felt most comfortable as a black person.
In terms of black people living in overwhelmingly white communities, and the comfort or lack of comfort they might feel, to my surprise I found that the racial make-up of our family was much less of an issue in Maine, which is almost 98% white, than in North Carolina, which has a much larger minority population.
I don't know how to explain this except to say that in Maine, there seemed to be many fewer people with negative or preconceived notions about black people than in other places I've lived.
This meant that one was viewed as an individual person and judged on his or her own behavior as opposed to representing a group.
Quote:If anything, I think that Obama's election has made some of those tensions more evident because I think some of the antagonism directed at him clearly smacks of racism.
How unfortunate (if this is true). I haven't lived in the US since Obama was elected, so I can't say if my observations tell me it is or isn't the case. But if you say it is, that's just so sad.
Quote:I'm not sure I'd view those black parents as being racist because they resist the idea of their children dating outside of their own racial group. Their attitudes may well be based on cultural issues rather than any traits or innate characteristics they are attributing to other racial groups.
Or actual FEAR for the safety of their black sons who choose to date white girls, which is an entirely different issue and more understandable than someone finding someone undesireable based on the color of his or her skin and less than the optimum, which she made clear when she asked her daughter, 'Can't you find a nice white boy to date - don't any nice white boys want to date you?', as if both her daughter and the person who had chosen to date her daughter were somehow deficient.
