Is dating someone who's a different race okay?

David at 13 or so I was under the impression that I knew far more then my parents and once even told them that I consider my opinions was of great worth as I was well read.

This is similar in a way to what is known as the 100-200 hours syndrome with new pilots where they begin to think that in a past life they had feathers and all and all they could out fly the Red Baron.

One of my friends during that period was towing a happy birthday banner low with an ultralight over his mother home and ended up plane and all in high tension lines and two of such pilots was reenacting a ww1 dogfight when one of the planes overstress wings broke off.

The pilot die but a lot of the plane parts was in good enough shape to be reused on the rest of our planes.

To sum up Gracie is now in the 100 hours/13 years danger zone in my opinion, knowing in her opinion far more then she know in fact.

OK, Gracie. I've read enough. If he bothers you this much, it's time to put him on "Ignore." Life is too short...it's time to move on. (((hugs)))

I think I had already cover the fact that the society and the law and the courts support parents control over their own children in another posting.

Well, I think you were a really, really grown-up kid. LOL No offense, it's actually a compliment really. Like Im mature and all, but sounds like you didnt act like a normal kid at all when you were my age. Did you have any kind of fun? Sounds like you were super serious. You were probably around adults all the time, huh?

I know Im not an adult. Im reminded everyday when I get in trouble for 'talking back' or 'having an additude'. I prefer 'teenager' over 'child' but I know Im not a grown-up. I wont be a grown up until I can move out and start actually doing what I want, whenever I want and not getting in trouble for it. I have to follow too many rules, how the heck could I see myself as a grown-up? That's something Im looking forward to though; being on my own and everything. Time's going by pretty slow dude. (sigh)

Good idea!

((((Big hugs!))))

Thanks sozobe! That means alot and its good to hear!

<waves back!! >

Thanks ossobuco, and firefly, and Eva and Rockhead and George and even you David and EVERYBODY! You guys are awesome!

Lets stop responding to Bill. Maybe he'll get the hint


Or not.....

By Joseph L. Graves Jr., Ph.D:


Suggest a good read of the source, here:
http://www.enotalone.com/article/5043.html

or here:
http://www.enotalone.com/books/0452286581.html

Maybe u did a good job in that other posting. I did not see it.
( I remember that sometimes u have done very good work
in finding competent support for your position, concerning other matters, years ago.)





David

GracieGirl, I asked you a question a few pages back that seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle, and buried under all the digressions.

Does inter-racial dating go on in your school and, if it does, how do the other kids react to it?

And, I'm just curious, among your friends, how would dating a boy differ from just hanging out with him as a friend, or from being with him in a group of friends? Do the parents try to supervise the "dating"?

Opps! Sorry about that. I saw it earlier and read it but I forgot to answer because of all the other stuff.

I mean, there are a few kids I know who are different races and they're dating and a few kids say stupid stuff or stare at them. Like my friends Sabrina and Jay. Sabrina's really pale and Jay's really dark skinned so some kids are weird about it because they're soo different but other than that no one really cares. But, I live in Northern California and there's more white people here than anything. I mean, there's some Hispanic and African-American kids at my school but mostly white.

Well, most of my friends are like 16 0r 17 because I skipped a couple of grades of school. So dating for me is different from them.

And Umm, dating is different because when they're dating guys they kiss and make out and stuff and go on dates to the movies or park and hang out and everything. Like, my bestfriend Natalie, she's 16 and she's been dating her boyfriend for like 2 years so they do EVERYTHING together. It's differnt from just being friends and hanging out with friends.

I dont know about supervising. Natalie's parents dont go on dates with Nat and her boyfriend if that's what you mean. My friends usually just get dropped off on dates and their parents pick them up later.

But I cant do any of that. My dad would go nuts and embarrass the crap out of me. I still have guys I like and I've had boyfriends (sorta) I guess. But I cant go on dates and stuff and I try to make sure my dad doesn't find out. I mean, its really stupid that he makes me go to school with kids 2 years older but expects me to not wanna get to do what they do.

Do you believe that? I dont.

How do you feel about it Eorl?

I'm not sure what you're asking exactly. I generally accept the author's premise that race is a myth, if that's what you mean.

Race is a myth? You mean it doesnt matter?

I don't know what you mean either. Im asking what do you think about dating people who are different races and do you think your quote about racists beliefs is right. Do you agree with it? Im confusing sometimes. Sorry.

It was my bed time a long time ago. GoodNite!

I don't think you quite get that I'm saying I support the author's idea there is no such thing as race. One cannot assume anything based on skin tone, except perhaps how quickly you'll burn in the sun, which is why we assume we have such variation anyway.

As for whether skin tone variations should influence ones dating...I mean it doesn't matter any more than there should be a distinction between people with gaps between their teeth, and those that don't. I think dating someone with a gap is fine, skin tone is of equal importance, ie zero.
Racism is a ridiculous idea with a tragically long history of acceptibilty.

Yay! Okay, haha! I was confused, sorry.

I agree. I never thought about it like that though. Race doesnt exists. But I think you're right! Thanks for that Eorl!

Hi, Eorl! Long time no see. I agree with everything Dr. Graves says. The very idea of "race" and "racial differences" is racist. For myself, I know of only one race -- the human race. Superficial differences, e.g. skin tone, are no more than the differences between blond hair and, say, red hair; blue eyes vs brown eyes. There is no further genetic difference.

It has been pointed out by other posters that there are cultural differences between the races, particularly in America and, I assume, Australia as well. That's true. But I'd like to point out that there are significant cultural differences between white people of Irish descent and those of, say, Greek descent. Should that be a serious barrier to a Greek marrying an Irish person? Should German-born brunettes be leery of dating blond Scandinavians? It gets ridiculous after a while.

Apropos of the Irish, you know, of course, that there was a time in a past not all that distant when the English actually considered the Irish to be a different "race."

Oh, I didn't realize that your friends were that much older than you are. That's really a big age difference in terms of some of the things they're able to do and what your dad allows you to do. I'd imagine that would leave you sort of feeling left out or frustrated--it's a tough spot to be in. I only skipped one grade in school, so I was a little younger than my classmates (I was only 16 my entire senior year of high school), but I didn't have to contend with as big an age gap as you do.

I wouldn't have asked you that question about how dating among your friends was different than just hanging out with a male friend had I realized the friends in question were 16 or 17, I'd have known that they were dating the way we generally think of it. You must have thought I was an idiot to ask you such a dumb question.

I know that for many 13 or 14 year olds, when they first start dating, the parents only allow group dates, like groups of couples, or dates where some parent is lurking around, and they really don't want a couple to be alone together for any length of time if it isn't in a public place. So it is a little more like just having a close friendship with a boy than the sort of real dating and more exclusive relationships that people do have when they're a little older. But it doesn't sound as if you'll get into the dating scene through that kind of gradual route. And, if the boys you know are all 16 or 17, I can understand why your father might not want you going out with them. He's right to want to make you wait, but I guess that doesn't make it easier for you. Oh, the disadvantages of skipping all those grades.

So what did the friend you talked about in your opening post decide to do? Is she dating your African American friend? How does he feel about inter-racial dating in a predominantly white school? I really don't see this sort of thing as necessarily related to racism at all. There are all sorts of other social factors, and social pressures, that can influence and affect inter-racial dating, or even the desire to do so, and those things can affect the couple involved, particularly in a high school, and that can also affect how accepting or supportive the parents of the couple are about the dating. So, while I think there is nothing at all wrong with inter-racial dating, I can understand why your friend's mother might be hesitant about it for her daughter--and maybe the boy's parents might be hesitant about it for him too--while they both are still in high school, and in a high school which is not at all racially balanced. But that wouldn't mean that any of those parents were racist--they might just be overly protective of their children, and desirous of protecting them from other people's racist attitudes and possibly nasty or hurtful behaviors.

Doesn't mean it isn't. Doesn't look far off the very definition of racism to me.

exactly so!