I HAVE A CONFESSION!!

@JPB,

Thanks JPB! I think you're pretty wonderful too!! Mr. Green

Yeah, I havent even found my mom yet , havent even started trying too and things are already soo complicated. I cant imagine how hard things are gonna be when I actually start looking for her and I find her. I didnt really think about all this stuff that Im talking to chai, Mame and Momma CJ about. Its way more complicated than I thought!

Being a teenager sucks! I cant wait until Im a grown-up and everything gets a little easier! Very Happy

1 Reply

@GracieGirl,

GracieGirl wrote:

Hi Mommy CJ!

I meant what I said last night. Thanks for talking with me about everything. I dont really get to talk to anyone else about it. It felt really great to be able to just talk and be honest and hear what you and everyone had to say. I know chai and Mame are worried because they think your getting my hopes up but your not. I hope you meant what you said when you said that you think my mom loves me and would be happy to see me. I think you meant it but If you were just saying it to make me feel better I understand. I'm not stupid and Im not just a '13 year old'. I know that there's alot that I dont know about my parents and why my mom left. So you cant be 100% certain that my mom will wanna see me but It's great that you think she does. I think she does. I really really hope she does.

Anyway, yeah it was great talking to you and you really made me happy! I hope you know that now everytime I wanna talk or vent I'll be looking for you and I hope your okay with that! Haha!

Don't worry, Gracie, I meant what I said and I tend to see life from a more optimistic angle as some other people. If life hands you lemons, you make lemonade out of it and don't go around and make other people miserable with your own experiences. Just about every person has set backs in their life, it is what you make out of life that is important and how you see things.

Sure, you can choose to think that your mother doesn't love you or your siblings and you can have these negative thoughts throughout your life.
You also have the freedom and think that she had different reasons for
leaving and that you'll be in her thoughts every day of her life.
There are so many people in this world who are consumed by negative thoughts, I refuse to be one of them! Hopefully you won't be either,
actually I know you won't.

I read your sincere post to Diane on losing the love of her life - Bob, and
I know that you'll choose the right path. Don't worry, I am here to help you,
if you need me to! Wink

2 Replies

@GracieGirl,

Ha! That's when you'll look back on your childhood and teen years and recall that everything was "easy"!

No, not really. I wouldn't be a teenager again for the world, but I meant what I said. Let yourself be 13. There's plenty of time for being other ages later.

0 Replies

@GracieGirl,

GracieGirl wrote:

That ladys mom that was on the show you watched seems really selfish and mean to me. All she cares about is herself and her life but what about her daughter who spent her whole life thinking about her mom and missing her and wanting to get to know her? you say that 'poor woman' but what about the 'poor daughter'? Dont you care about how she feels? Doesnt she matter chai?

It doesn't matter if she is selfish, or mean. Life isn't fair.

Perhaps the least selfish thing she ever did in her life was giving this child she didn't want to someone else to raise....to her REAL parents.

Do I care how she feels?

No Gracie honey, I'm sorry if this disappoints you, but I don't.

We all have to make our own lives. There are enough people we will choose to bring into our hearts, who want to be there. I'm not going to try to bring in someone who doesn't want to be there, even if I think they should want to.

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

CalamityJane wrote:

If life hands you lemons, you make lemonade out of it and don't go around and make other people miserable with your own experiences.

There are so many people in this world who are consumed by negative thoughts, I refuse to be one of them!

For crying out loud, CJ, get off your freaking soap box.

2 Replies

@Mame,

Seriously.

I don't think anyone is wanting to make anyone miserable with their own experiences.

It's also not being consumed by negative thoughts to be realistic, and consider all possible outcomes. Especially is someone is thinking on embarking on a journey that's on a rough road.

When you go on any journey, a smart person maps out their routes, carries emergency supplies, and has a plan on what to do if your car breaks down in the middle of the trip.

Gracie, the first steps on your journey might be to arrange for a time to really talk to your dad, the person who has the most information.
Not a fly-by conversation, or catching him off guard, but really arranging some private time with him to let him know that you'd like to know what really happened, and what's going on.

1 Reply

@chai2,

Yes, and let's not forget Gracie's age. That's an important factor to consider.

1 Reply

@Mame,

Yeah, I'm never forgetting her age.

I think that's another reason why she should go to her dad.

0 Replies

@GracieGirl,

Quote:

Tomorrow? Promise?!

Yes, tomorrow Smile

I'm still not ready Smile

2 Replies

@Mame,

You know what: kiss my ass!

2 Replies

@CalamityJane,

Hey, good come back, CJ.

0 Replies

@CalamityJane,

CalamityJane wrote:

GracieGirl wrote:

Hi Mommy CJ!

I meant what I said last night. Thanks for talking with me about everything. I dont really get to talk to anyone else about it. It felt really great to be able to just talk and be honest and hear what you and everyone had to say. I know chai and Mame are worried because they think your getting my hopes up but your not. I hope you meant what you said when you said that you think my mom loves me and would be happy to see me. I think you meant it but If you were just saying it to make me feel better I understand. I'm not stupid and Im not just a '13 year old'. I know that there's alot that I dont know about my parents and why my mom left. So you cant be 100% certain that my mom will wanna see me but It's great that you think she does. I think she does. I really really hope she does.

Anyway, yeah it was great talking to you and you really made me happy! I hope you know that now everytime I wanna talk or vent I'll be looking for you and I hope your okay with that! Haha!

Don't worry, Gracie, I meant what I said and I tend to see life from a more optimistic angle as some other people. If life hands you lemons, you make lemonade out of it and don't go around and make other people miserable with your own experiences. Just about every person has set backs in their life, it is what you make out of life that is important and how you see things.

Sure, you can choose to think that your mother doesn't love you or your siblings and you can have these negative thoughts throughout your life.
You also have the freedom and think that she had different reasons for
leaving and that you'll be in her thoughts every day of her life.
There are so many people in this world who are consumed by negative thoughts, I refuse to be one of them! Hopefully you won't be either,
actually I know you won't.

I read your sincere post to Diane on losing the love of her life - Bob, and
I know that you'll choose the right path. Don't worry, I am here to help you,
if you need me to!

Thanks Momma CJ! Very Happy

0 Replies

@CalamityJane,

CalamityJane wrote:

You know what: kiss my ass!

Whoa!

Don't guys. Momma CJ, Mames really nice.

1 Reply

I know she's nice. I even met her in person! She just rattled my cage yesterday!

2 Replies

@CalamityJane,

CalamityJane wrote:

I know she's nice. I even met her in person! She just rattled my cage yesterday!

In that case, I will withdraw the prayer groups that I sent to meet with you and Mame. Smile

0 Replies

@CalamityJane,

I was going to pipe in here but I thought it more appropriate that I wait for CJ or Mame..
they're both strong women, full of opinions and pizazz. I've met and am fond of both of them, and am not without some strengths myself. All of us - and others on a2k with similar modes - can be quite snappish relatively freely. Doesn't mean we don't basically like each other.

As I've aged (and aged and aged..), I've appreciated people who say what they think without always sugar coating, that whole 'nice' thing - though not always appreciating immediately.

0 Replies

Don't dispatch any prayer group to us non-believers, wandel Laughing

osso, yeah, I am not a sugar coater, for sure! I do dish out but I also can take in, no problems on my side! Very Happy

0 Replies

@GracieGirl,

GracieGirl wrote:

. . . Mames really nice.

Oh . . . i see . . . so you've never met her, huh?

1 Reply

@chai2,

Chai, just because life isn't fair doesn't mean she gets to be mean and selfish. ItDoes matter. How could you not love your own baby? It's not her daughters fault that her mom was stupid and didn't use protection. If you don't want a kid then dont get pregnant. If you have a kid you shouldn't give it away like it's a toy or something. That's wrong.

And it is dissapionting. I like you chai but I don't get why you think that selfish lady is right. Its not wrong for a daughter to want a chance to love and get to know their mom. Your not being fair. Sad

2 Replies

@GracieGirl,

I think it's more complicated than that, though.

It's not wrong for a daughter to want a chance to love and get to know her biological mom.

But what does she do after that?

I agree that yelling in front of the woman's house -- cameras in tow -- was thoughtless and rude. There are many other ways that she could have approached her biological mother, such as writing a letter to her.

There are so many reasons that parents leave their children.

I just read a heartbreaking article a while ago about a woman who left her child because of encroaching mental illness.

Drug abuse is another reason why parents leave, and sometimes leaving is better than staying in that situation.

Sometimes people feel they are simply not up to the job of being a parent. It's a tough job, and sometimes making the decision to step away (especially if another parent is able to fill in) is the healthiest decision for everyone involved.

There are nearly as many reasons as there are parents who have left.

And sometimes these parents are just plain wrong. They leave for no good reason. This can be one of the hardest things for their biological children to deal with.

I understand your desire to know, one way or another, but I think what pretty much everyone is saying here in their own way is that you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that knowing might be more unpleasant than not knowing.

2 Replies

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