what is promiscuous

Blatham, I think we agreed, if you review some of my posts, perhaps the one before last, and I meant to add the word promiscuity as a loaded one with accents too, but who is Shirley Valentine? a cultural icon I don't know yet, I bet, says she who doesn't watch tv.

I do live within my own rather interesting culture, semihemidemirenegade that I might be, in matron's persona, fairly strict within my own conscience space.
In most of my life people wave at me about qualms.

'K, eoe - fair enough. So, it works in the concrete - with your friend.

I guess it's just when it gets abstract, then - when it comes to people you don't know - that it becomes easy to be throwing that first stone and pull out the unconditional blanket condemnations - after all, 'the third woman' is like

oss

I did read your posts and as usual, we are much in agreement.

Shirley Valentine is the character in a play of that name. It was also made into a movie which you can rent...and you, particularly, will LOVE it.

Eoe...I recommend this film to you too. I've never met a woman who has seen the work and who doesn't subsequently light up at the mention of it.

Ok, will look for it.

For 34 years I never cheated on my husband, even though I was tempted a few times. I considered leaving several times, but our sons were still at home, I didn't want to be immoral, I was a wimp, etc.

When you do see the film Shirley Valentine, think of me. I even look a bit like her and I'm happier than I ever dreamed was possible.

The people involved, the psychology of the relationship, the upbringing, the growing into someone different that you were 30 years ago, and the decision to have an affair and find that it is far more than an affair--all of this hasn't made me less honorable or trustworthy. I am the same person with the same values.

For the first time in my life, I did something that I selfishly wanted to do. I will NEVER regret my decision and I have stopped worrying about who will disapprove. Those who do were not true friends to begin with.

This is far too complicated a subject to be able to make blanket statements, unless you are very young and have never read any great literature. There is so much more than right and wrong that it isn't possible to begin to consider all the reasons, possibilities, consequences, religious repressions, or the mindless safety of judgemental opinion.

Oh, you're just a tart.

And by the way: Montana was being open and honest. What she has done sexually is her business and doesn't make her anything more than what she is--a kind, generous, honest, brave woman whom I value highly as a friend. She certainly doesn't deserve the blasts of judgemental statements that came her way.

I agree with you Diane, but those Maritime girls are pretty tough, I think Montana can handel herself.

Tarts as far as the eye can see.

Ha! Who you callin' a tart there Bernie? Ya big ho.

*ducks and runs*

Blatham, you weren't supposed to let on...........

I was not backstroking or making up excuses. You asked me questions that I answered truthfully as to how I feel. I don't need to make excuses to you or anyone else for that matter. If you don't like me for who I am, well be it.

Diane
I truly appreciate your very kind words and hope you know that the feelings are totally mutual. You had the courage to finally do something for yourself that makes you happy and I admire that.

To everyone else who spoke up on my behalf, I want you all to know how much it is appreciated. I value my family I have here at A2K and do take your words to heart.

When I shared that personal information about myself, one part of me said "don't do it Montana", but another part of me wanted to know what others thought about that. I needed to know who would judge me and who would understand where I'm coming from. I won't deny that I was hurt by some of the responses, but I have grown a thick skin over the years, so I was able to sort through those feelings. There was a time in my life where I was an extremely sensative person who wouldn't have handled some of the reactions I got, and in those days I wouldn't have touched on that subject with a ten foot pole, but those days are over. I am content with who I am and am happy to see that many of you accept me just the way I am. I am not a person who hurts people, but many of you already know that and I thank you for your kindness and support :-D

Hey there Lola
I've been sitting back quietly just thinking on the responses and watching as the thread went along. I have been asking myself wheather it was a good idea for me to throw out this personal information or if I should have just kept my mouth shut. I can see that I opened up this big can of worms here and I'm wondering if it was a good idea.

Thanks for your concern ;-)

Thanks again Lola and I do understand how and why people feel as they do for the most part and I respect their views as well.

;-)

montana

What you did was courageous, canuckette. The messiness of human relationships pretty much entails that anyone relating an opinion on these matters will risk disapproval from others, so there is some courage displayed by all. But mostly so when one confesses to sitting outside the norm.

so sleeping with a married man because you are horny is couragous