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Would you forgive your partner if he/she cheated?

Forums: Relationships, Cheating, Infidelity, Feelings, Honesty
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sozobe
 
  5  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 07:40 pm
Happened once, didn't forgive, and I think that was the right decision for me/us at the time.

If it happened again, I don't know. I know for sure I would be extremely unhappy about it. I'm not sure what would happen from there, though, both because I think a lot would depend on details (a vast swath of scenarios would fit under "cheating") and because I know humans are bad at predicting how we would actually react to extreme situations.

I do think I'd find it to be an extreme situation, though, even if it wouldn't be for others.
Caroline
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 07:43 pm
@sozobe,
Yes I agree sozobe it is an extreme situation, it's very very painful, I know I'd go mental and want to kick her head in if she knew I was his girl. You know girls who do that, have affairs with married men etc are just fools because I was taught that I deserved a man to myself. Thanks sozobe.
sozobe
 
  2  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 07:45 pm
@Caroline,
IF it happened, I think I'd be way more angry at him than her.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 07:57 pm
to Max,

I agree with you.

I never messed around, but I was always my own person making my own choices.

I can understand people who differ.
0 Replies
 
Caroline
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 07:58 pm
@sozobe,
Oh yeah definitely but I when it happened to me I always felt the urge to kill her and I dumped him.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:15 pm
@Caroline,
I think of petunia as a kind of naivete. Let's bounce a question and see what happens..

I spent years as a naive person, so this is not a total dig.

I did have infidelity happen, as have many here posting.

'Would you forgive' can be charged words that send people to roiling thoughts.

I think you are just getting to understand them.

I'm sorry if I was snappy, but I'm a brat..
Caroline
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:22 pm
@ossobuco,
No you're not snappy I think you're lovely. It's only just occurred to me that this could stir up feelings and I'm sorry. But if it helps to talk about it I'm here but I expect you don't. Again sorry for causing those roiling thoughts, it's not a nice thing to happen, my first proper boyfriend did it to me with my best friend, I was only young but felt so betrayed and cheated, it's not pleasant and maybe I should've thought about it more before I posted, but it just started with me being curious. Thanks
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:34 pm
@Caroline,
Don't mind my brattiness, post away. Just guess that people have varied backgrounds.


Oh, and lovely is a rare word for me... so thanks.
Caroline
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:36 pm
@ossobuco,
No you're not bratty you have feelings too, sometimes it helps to talk about it but if you dont I understand. Take care ossobuco. And your more than welcome, I always enjoy your posts and presence, you make me feel safe that a wiser and more experienced woman is on board.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:38 pm
@Caroline,
I am too, I am too!!



welcome back, Caroline.
Caroline
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:39 pm
@ossobuco,
lol ok if it makes you happy but I grown to love your brattiness and your cool in my book.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:42 pm
@Caroline,
Don't count on that, I am at least half goofy.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:44 pm
@Caroline,
'k , thanks.
Caroline
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:46 pm
@ossobuco,
You're welcome. Smile And I like goofy.
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  2  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:46 pm
@sozobe,
I always thought this. People tend to be mad at the "other woman," while I think HE is the one you are in the relationship with - and the one you are partnered with - with all associated promises and trust. The "other woman" owes you nothing.
Caroline
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:48 pm
@Lash,
Well I was mad at both of them but I know what you mean, what is with that? It takes two.
Lash
 
  4  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:51 pm
@Caroline,
I understand the emotion of being mad at the other woman, but for me, it never stood up to logical analysis. If a man is going to dick around, he'll keep looking til he finds a willing accomplice.

But, yeah, sugar. I feel you.
Caroline
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:54 pm
@Lash,
Well she was my best friend, man I wanted to kick her head in but I wouldn't blame the girl so much if I didn't know her but what if she knows he's got a partner, that's showing disrespect isn't it?
Lash
 
  3  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:56 pm
@Caroline,
OH HELL! I totally missed that she was your best friend. Changes everything!!! Hell yes, you had a right to be totally pissed. Jesus, is there no worse betrayal?! I think fury can be doled out pretty evenly in this case.
hingehead
 
  3  
Reply Tue 2 Nov, 2010 08:56 pm
@Caroline,
That's just freakin creepy. Both out on their asses for mine.
 

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