Married & kissed my husband's friend.

@Cycloptichorn,

Quote:

you're sorry that he's a jerk who doesn't pay attention to you enough.

There is no limit Cyclo to how much attention some women want. Fancy calling another bloke a jerk without hearing his side of the story. Are you promoting abject uxoriousness?

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@spendius,

Quote:

To preserve a uniform dignity among those who see us every day is hardly possible; and to aim at it, must put us under the fetters of perpetual restraint.

James Boswell. The Life of Samuel Johnson.

Are you using this fellow sufferer Cyclo to ingratiate yourself with the ladies here? Where does it end up?

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Arrange to bang the dude. You never know, he may be better than the guy you're stuck with at the moment. If he is, leave the loser and take up with the better man. That's evolution. Our species may depend on it and one day wind up thanking you. On the other hand, if he blows his load within 30 minutes, rolls over and goes to sleep, just consider it an experiment and let it go. No harm done. Don't spend your life controlled by abstract, idealistic moral codes that were constructed by people who were more religious, more credulous and less intelligent than yourself. Stick with evolution and let the best man win.

Edit: Yeah, I know. I wasn't trying to be precise with my terminology. You get the picture, tho.

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@FBM,

Quote:

Arrange to bang the dude. You never know, he may be better than the guy you're stuck with at the moment. If he is, leave the loser and take up with the better man. That's evolution. Our species may depend on it and one day wind up thanking you. On the other hand, if he blows his load within 30 minutes, rolls over and goes to sleep, just consider it an experiment and let it go. No harm done. Don't spend your life controlled by abstract, idealistic moral codes that were constructed by people who were more religious, more credulous and less intelligent than yourself. Stick with evolution and let the best man win.

That's the stuff FBM. How refreshing to see some honesty around here. Us good looking and talented chaps should stick together in the name of Science. Right on mate.

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Ha, spendius again Very Happy

. Tell me, spendi, were you ever even close to marriage?
---

Well, you're 24 years old and have met your husband 6 years ago and you're
married for 2 years which means you met him when you were 18 years old -
way too young to commit to a relationship and marriage. Now that you're older and know better what you want in life, you realize that you want different things
than your husband does. I don't think this is either his or your fault - you both
simply grew up a bit more and in your case, you are looking for an emotional
fulfilling relationship while your husband is satisfied with status quo.

You're young enough to start over and most importantly, you don't have any
kids together. Count your losses and move on.....

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@CalamityJane,

I'm telling you nothing about my personal life Cal. A keen student of language would have a pretty good idea about it. I could tell you plenty about yourself you know. That post alone is very revealing.

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@spendius,

You don't have to tell me, spendius, I know already.
What's so revealing about my post? My advise was not from own experience, if you're hinting at that.

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Can we get to the real question regarding this post. the kiss.... tongue or no?

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@blueveinedthrobber,

Quote:

It was very long & passionate,

I'm guessing yes.

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@JPB,

ever the intuitive one you are Wink

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@CalamityJane,

Quote:

My advise was not from own experience, if you're hinting at that.

It displays an attitude from which much else can be deduced. And it's consistent in all your posts.

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personally i think u kissed him yeah well if u want ur marriage 2 end or 4 him 2 never trust u again well then tell him, if u want 2 stay with him, dont tell him it will probably do more harm then good,so get over it

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@HML,

There's a good song in one of my fav. flims Casablanca, called 'A kiss is just a kiss'. Trust me plenty of marriages have broke up over far worse stuff. But what you have to ask yourself is do you have it in you to try and make it work out. Noone said relationships were ever meant to be easy. Infact marriages aren't. Trust me, I've been there and got the t-shirt. But neither do i jump on the band wagon and castigate the guy for losing his rag. Start over, or try forgiveness and a little bit of tlc in the morning. The choice is yours.

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This is not about the other guy.

You and your husband have not been on the same page for a while and that needs to get straightened out ASAP.

If you can, stay somewhere else for a few days. Then arrange to meet him in front of a counselor or trusted person and talk about the state of your marriage.

You BOTH seem unhappy - for whatever reasons (work stress, boredom, bad sex, money, relatives, religion, in-laws, etc., etc) and need to figure out if the marriage is worth saving.

Do you want to save this marriage?

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@ossobuco,

If HML's situation was mine as she described it, yes.

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@PUNKEY,

The 1st yr of marriage was full of arguing & figuring things out, he didn't agree w/ how I did things. Although I assume that's normal. 2nd yr was how I described before. Seems like it gets worse. If all marriages are like this, no wonder why divorce rates are so high, & cheating. As I have figured out.
I went to my boss to talk things over after work (since he's not in on Wed.) cuz he's the 1 person I know to give good advice, brutal & honest, but my husband had already talked to him. Unfortunately the "other guy" is my boss's son (he is 23 btw). Needless to say, he wasn't very happy about any of this. Especially since hes very strict & devout baptist Surprised

Anyway, I now don't have my boss's house to stay for the time being. I'm not sure how work will be tomorrow. & I still havent gone home. He's probably still angry.

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@HML,

It doesn't exactly sound like a match made in heaven. I wouldn't call a year of arguing & figuring things out normal. Not in any year, but certainly not the first year. And it got worse from there?

I'd give some serious thought to closing this chapter in your life and moving on. He probably is still angry, but how are you?

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@Lash,

I see I didn't put your words in quote, sorry.

I'm agreeing more with JPB and Calamity.

Depends though, on HML's love for the husband, to me. I'm all for being faithful, I was. But I've also changed from my youth to the opinion that if the marriage isn't working, get out of there, particularly before children enter the scene.

I've also gotten crabbier about wishing people could live on their own and not pair up permanently so early.

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@ossobuco,

Yeah. It's a crap shoot. She's exhibited some bad decisions that will just follow her to her next, and next marriages....so, I tend to think it's a good idea to get a good look at who you are and where you are before moving on to the next victim. If she and her husband get some marriage therapy and discover they want to end the marriage - at least she has some tools to avoid a repeat.

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@Lash,

btw, glad to hear hubby didn't get arrested trying to fight a 23 year old for his returned manhood.

1 Reply

Married & kissed my husband's friend.

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