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The woman I like doesn't like me. I feel so hurt. Please help

 
 
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 02:02 am
I met her two years ago and we spent much time together since then. Last weekend, we went out to visit a scenic area and we shared one bed for two nights. I tried to get physical intimate with her. She was offended. I guess she will sever ties with me. My heart is broken. Please help.
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Type: Question • Score: 7 • Views: 5,692 • Replies: 83

 
stevenya
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 02:08 am
I am afraid that I may never meet her again in my life, so terrible. So horrible.
hawkeye10
 
  -3  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 03:02 am
@stevenya,
Quote:
I am afraid that I may never meet her again in my life, so terrible. So horrible.
There are a lot of fish in the sea, get educated and then make another try. Read this:
http://www.amazon.com/Art-Seduction-Robert-Greene/dp/0142001198/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_2

His "48 laws of power" will also help you a great deal.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 05:35 am
@stevenya,
Sorry to hear this, stevenya... but I would need more information in order to even understand, much less help, your situation. You met her two years ago and have spent a lot of time together, but have not been intimate? Is she a friend or more than that? How old are you two?
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 05:37 am
@Mame,
Mame, this is the guy with the shared hotel room topic.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 05:50 am
@jespah,
Oh, sorry. I haven't read that.
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 08:19 am
@stevenya,
Now you know. You didn't before and thought you were getting signals that in retrospect you weren't. It could have easily gone the other way. Now you can move on with your love life. If you hadn't investigated it, you'd have never known and you'd still be in limbo.
Gargamel
 
  3  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 09:45 am
Dude, if she severs ties with you that's her problem, but probably the best thing for you. You could be prone--many people are--to convincing yourself you still want to be friends in spite of being incapable of maintaining strictly "friendly" feelings.

It's way too early for someone to say this to you, I know, but I've already submitted this post so I can't go back and change it: don't let yourself be a weenie over her for too long. This world devours those without resilience.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  -3  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 11:04 am
@jespah,
jespah wrote:

Mame, this is the guy with the shared hotel room topic.


What a putz
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 01:42 pm
OK - she thought you could share one bed as FRIENDS. (Gee, you've been friends for 9 years so far and nothing has happened)

You tried to make a move as a lover and got rejected.

Either she was teasing you OR you totally misread the situation.

Apparently she likes you as a BFF . . . NOT as a lover.

You will have to find another woman who DOES want to be your lover.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  -3  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 02:27 pm
I don't believe it was the same bed.

My gut tells me, from this and the other thread, that there were 2 beds, and he simply decided to make his move. Mostly out of wishful thinking.

I don't believe it would be abnormal, or unusual, for 2 members of the opposite sex, who have been friends for 9 years, to share a hotel room. It's just a ROOM for God's sake.

I don't believe for a minute that the female rented a room with one bed, without discussing that fact with the other person, expecially a man..

A woman wouldn't even rent a room with one bed if she was staying with another woman, if that was avoidable. If all I could get was one bed, I would have told the other woman beforehand, so she wouldn't be surprised when walking in the room.

The only way I could see this happening is if this was happening in a part of the world where hotels were not that common.

From what I can gather, the OP never once opened his mouth and asked the woman what was up.
Gee, what's more offensive, and stupid? Making a sexual advance on someone thinking "here's hoping she wants it...best I not ask", or simply asking this person you've known for 9 years.

Let's use a little common sense people.

As far as I'm concerned the OP earned whatever the outcome of this is.
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 03:03 pm
Not that it's a big deal, but I thought they only knew each other for a couple of years?
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 03:05 pm
@stevenya,
stevenya wrote:

I met her two years ago and we spent much time together since then. Last weekend, we went out to visit a scenic area and we shared one bed for two nights. I tried to get physical intimate with her. She was offended. I guess she will sever ties with me. My heart is broken. Please help.


Yep, two years. Where we do get 9 from?

His heart is broken and they've never been intimate? Please.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 03:06 pm
@Mame,
Mame wrote:

stevenya wrote:

I met her two years ago and we spent much time together since then. Last weekend, we went out to visit a scenic area and we shared one bed for two nights. I tried to get physical intimate with her. She was offended. I guess she will sever ties with me. My heart is broken. Please help.


Yep, two years. Where we do get 9 from?

His heart is broken and they've never been intimate? Please.


Oh, I was counting that in dog years.

0 Replies
 
djjd62
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 03:09 pm
listen ladies, blue balls is no laughing matter
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 03:16 pm
@djjd62,
djjd62 wrote:

listen ladies, blue balls is no laughing matter


How many years have we known each other now djjj?

For that matter, how long have we both known mame?

Get what I'm drivin' at?

say no more, nod's as good as a wink to a blind man.

interested in phoTOGgraphy?

heh? heh?

arTIStic photos?

click click.

Bubble pictures?

say no more.
0 Replies
 
hingehead
 
  6  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 03:54 pm
@hawkeye10,
The amazon review says there are chapters called "Master the Art of Insinuation" and "Isolate the Victim."

Hawk, you are just spooky.


chai2
 
  -2  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 04:22 pm
@engineer,
engineer wrote:

Now you know. You didn't before and thought you were getting signals that in retrospect you weren't. It could have easily gone the other way. Now you can move on with your love life. If you hadn't investigated it, you'd have never known and you'd still be in limbo.


No engineer, it could not have easily gone the other way.

He was receiving no other signals other than from his rich fantasies (and from some wishful thinking/self professed ladies men here.

engineer
 
  5  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 04:49 pm
@chai2,
While you make a lot of valid points, I'm not yet willing to write this guy off. For all I know, he is 17. I think his other writing, gnashing of teeth, etc point to him being very young and clearly socially immature. That doesn't mean he doesn't need to hear the messages you are sending, but it does explain a tendency for wishful thinking and misreading signals. We had another thread a few months ago about whether men and women could be friends without sex being a factor and I think it is very difficult, especially for the young. He is clearly infatuated. Do you think she could really miss that? She invited him out of town for a function, rented a single room and you don't think that sex would go through his testosterone soaked mind? Of course asking her on a date makes a lot more sense than groping her in the dark, but he took no for an answer and that makes him a lot better than some frat boys I hear about.
hawkeye10
 
  -3  
Reply Tue 28 Sep, 2010 05:56 pm
@hingehead,
Quote:
The amazon review says there are chapters called "Master the Art of Insinuation" and "Isolate the Victim."

Hawk, you are just spooky.

"the art of seduction" was published in 2003, it is currently ranked #823 in sales on Amazon. In case you are slow, this means that a lot of people are reading this book.

"the 48 laws of power" was published in 2000, and is currently ranked #313


Before you accuse me of being spooky or outside the norm you best do a little homework. You dont know what you think you know.
 

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