The woman I like doesn't like me. I feel so hurt. Please help

Wait, what?

Are you saying your problem is with seduction? Or one perjorative usage of that word you decided to apply to this non-native English speaker, who might have used any number of words in his whatever-to-English dictionary?

but don't make him out to be a complete perv because he read this woman incorrectly due to lack of experience or wishful thinking.

As a thought exercise let's reverse the gender roles here. A man invites a woman he has known for a couple of years to share a room and bed with him. She's had a crush on him and wonders if he's willing to get physical with her. Would you say his invite is completely devoid of sexual meaning? (Of course, the advice to assume nothing and explore the situation in advance is still completely valid.) If she made a move and was completely rebuffed, would you be reaming her out?

I am giving my opinion not just from the perspective on what I believe to be women in general, but from my personal feelings (and direct experience with having men make passes at me when I did nothing to provoke it)

<snip>
I am not being hateful, or a drone Bill. I am responding the same way when a man mistakenly assumed I'd have sex with him, when I'd never given the slighted encouragement.

The way a woman with self respect would respond would be with being offended.

I completely agree that the Steve should have flushed out the situation in advance, that he should have explored less physical ways of expressing his feelings to see if they were reciprocated, that he should have opened a dialog. By all means hammer him on that, but don't make him out to be a complete perv because he read this woman incorrectly due to lack of experience or wishful thinking.

OCCOM BILL wrote:

Right... because we all know Ossobuco is a wishful thinking/ self professed ladies man.

Engineer is right. Pay no attention to the hateful drones, Stevenya. Those with the courage to try for something special have all crashed and burned at one point or another. Consider this: Every attempt at love that doesn't result in true love involves one party more into it than the other, and that party usually ends up getting rejected at some point. Those crappy feelings you are experiencing is the price you pay in route to finding your own special someone. It sucks, but it beats becoming a priest. Heal up and get back at it and I wish you better luck next time.

One piece of advice: Don’t wait two years to express your feelings next time. That type of delay results in either two years wasted thinking about the wrong woman, or two years wasted that could have been spent living the dream with the right woman. Either way, it’s two years you’re never going to get back.

Well no Bill, because osso is not a man.

Being straight here, my inclination to be sarcastic with you aside, haven't you noticed that some men, both on this and the "other" thread are giving advice on how to proceed?

Putting our petty differences aside, listen to what I am saying.

You are giving your advice not just from the perspective on what you believe to be men in general, but from your personal feelings.

I am giving my opinion not just from the perspective on what I believe to be women in general, but from my personal feelings (and direct experience with having men make passes at me when I did nothing to provoke it)

The title of the OP's other thread about this girl and the hotel reads "How can I seduce my friend when we stay one night in a hotel."

The OP claims English is not his first language (which he did not announce until much later). As a native speaker of English, I agree with all of these various definitions of the word "seduce"

Please note I did not try to mislead by only pasting negative definition of the word seduce, but included the non nefarious definitions as well. The words I highlighted in red are some key words that pop into my head (as a woman), when seduction is mentioned.

1. To lead away from duty, accepted principles, or proper conduct. See Synonyms at lure.
2. To induce to engage in sex.
3. a. To entice or beguile into a desired state or position.
b. To win over; attract.

to lead astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; corrupt.
2. to persuade or induce to have sexual intercourse.
3. to lead or draw away, as from principles, faith, or allegiance: He was seduced by the prospect of gain.
4. to win over; attract; entice: a supermarket seducing customers with special sales.
: to persuade to disobedience or disloyalty
2: to lead astray usually by persuasion or false promises
3: to carry out the physical seduction of : entice to sexual intercourse
4: attract
— se•duc•er noun
Examples of SEDUCE
He tried to seduce her.
She was seduced by an older man.
The other team seduced him with a better offer.

There is a major ick factor associated with the word seduce, and by these common definitions, that cannot be denied.

Again, saying this as a woman Bill, you really can't have it both ways.

You cannot be a champion to all women, trying to educate men in the aspects of honoring them, respecting their intelligence, and especially respecting the fact that if they have shown no definite interest in sex with a man, that means they do not want sex with that man, and what you are saying to the OP.
Of course a man can try to create interest in a woman, but through attempts to get her interest via verbal and respectful visual communication, and not through the laying on of hands in a hotel bed.

The very nature of seducing a woman to have sex with you involves drawing them away from their principles, beguiling them.

I know you say you do not agree at all with doing that. You've said so many times.

The OP has never stated this woman did anything besides renting a room. He never communicated with her, never asked her any questions as to her feelings, etc. etc.

Going by what he has written thus far, he has given no indication she had any desire to be seduced.

Perhaps he has lost a friend. If he has, it's entirely through his lack of communication.

I am not being hateful, or a drone Bill. I am responding the same way when a man mistakenly assumed I'd have sex with him, when I'd never given the slighted encouragement.
The way a woman with self respect would respond would be with being offended.

It is a bad situation for a woman to get unprovoked sexual advances

Wait, what?

Are you saying your problem is with seduction? Or one perjorative usage of that word you decided to apply to this non-native English speaker, who might have used any number of words in his whatever-to-English dictionary?

Given that this woman was a friend, not a complete stranger, first of all, and second of all that he expressed uncertainty about her desires and intentions, I doubt he suspected he would be completely twisting her arm, and certainly not coercing her to act against her will. Then there's the subtext here that stevenya is an awkward and inexperienced dude, an observation that doesn't require too much intuition. These points hold a little more water than your semantical approach.

I won't even get into the fact that some women actually like to be seduced, chased, wooed, whatever word you want to use.

just jumping on the bed and whipping your dick out

Quote:

It is a bad situation for a woman to get unprovoked sexual advances

I see, so in your mind only women are allowed to be the first to signal that they desire sex....why dont men get to be equal?

Don't try to put the cart of sex before the horse of relationship...

I tried to get physical intimate with her. She was offended.

even given his language barrier, doesn't sound like he had any kind of discussion regarding the situation they found themselves in