@aidan,
aidan wrote:David - It's not the fact that he can or cannot be identified that bothers me. It's the fact that he was participating in what he probably THOUGHT was a private activity between his girlfriend and himself and now she has graphically described HIS behavior to people he doesn't even know!
That's totally different from saying, 'Once this person told me that blah, blah blah- or once this happened to me.
Even if no one on earth could know that the person someone was describing was ME - I would feel betrayed if I were to find out that my sexual partner - whom I trusted enough to have sex with in private - then went on the internet and gave a blow by blow (pun intended) description of what we'd done. I wouldn't give a **** if anyone could figure out he was talking about me or not. I would know he was telling other people what I wanted to keep private between me and him.
I 'm at a loss to understand by what reasoning that can constitute
a betrayal,
nor what ill effects can possibly result from it.
When I say "I once had the following experience with someone:
yada, yada, yada."
So far as I 'm able to understand, the only duty is to keep
the other person 's full name out of it.
I woud not discuss anything private with people who knew us all;
THAT woud be intrusive, but if I say that I once had a girlfriend who said or did thus & so, I see no betrayal in that.
aidan wrote:
I mean think about it - what if your girlfriend had had sex with you and then you check her internet history and go to the last website she visited and read her last post which said something like - 'and then we fucked - or tried to **** - but D., my boyfriend couldn't get it up, so blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...'
How would you feel? Would it matter that anyone could find out who you were?
I 'd have no objection; I woud not care,
so long as I 'm not identified.
If my name were not mentioned, then in theory, even
I don't know that she meant me,
because the same thing might have happened with someone else,
to whom she is referring.
NO objection that I coud raise coud withstand the logic of her defense of anonymity.
aidan wrote:Or would you be bothered by the fact that your girlfriend couldn't keep your private business private between you and her?
I have no right to censor her, so long as she keeps my name out of it. I have mentioned incidents in this forum
concerning girlfriends of earlier years n decades, including their
first names, knowing full well
that thay will never be identified with anything that I 've said.
There 's nothing rong with that.
aidan wrote:Whatever - people can do whatever they want to do - but if I even once saw someone describe their sexual encounter with me on an internet forum without my permission - I'd lose a ton of respect for that person's ability to be discreet and respectful of my privacy.
To my mind, it has no effect whatsoever on your privacy, if one of your friends says:
" I once knew
someone who did the following: X, Y n Z. "
Such a statement fully preserves your privacy intact if your name is left out.
To illustrate my point, for the sake of argument,
imagine that she decided to [oxymoron approaching; wait for contradiction-in-terms]
DEFAME ME, without using my name.
Suppose that without using my name, she said that she knew someone who committed a long string of felonies, of which I am innocent.
Logically, do I have a complaint against her if she accuses an unnamed person of shooting the Kennedys and kidnapping the Lindbergh baby?
I don 't think so.
David
