MissO - this is very sad. I am glad you decided to go not just because your mother may have a moment of lucidity and appreciate your being there, but also I think it's good for you (as much as you may not want to go). I think I would feel badly if I didn't go and it was her last Christmas. Don't you have a sister?
Thanks for your response, k. Much appreciated.
I think you're right. It's as much for me as it is for my mother. (Meaning I want to be able to live with myself.)
Yes, I do have a sister. Older than me, by 5 or 6 years.
But she's out of the picture now.
Around 4 years ago, after my mother's partner died, she "took my mother in". To live with her. Indefinitely, it looked like.
In less than one year she'd wiped out my mother's bank account.
Then placed her in the aged care facility.
She's visited her about 4 times since.
The sad thing is, she was much closer to my mother than I ever was. They were like best friends, really, more than mother & daughter. (My mother & I didn't "get on" all that well.)
But even given what's happened, I think my mother would have received a great deal of pleasure from her continued contact. I think it might have made a real difference to her.