The Bah! Humbug! Christmas thread.

Initially I thought 6.30am was a little early...but..when I read the rest of the yarn I started to see it as a good idea. I rather liked the Mickey Finn idea, as well.

It's a pity that Christmas comes in winter where you are - you could try the camping in the yard option, but it may be a tad chilly.

Or there's the run away option.
You're welcome here for Christmas! More food than you can ear, one dementing aunt, one demanding cat, mangoes, beaches.....

Ah Margo.... if only!

Tsar, that's just wonderful!

Hi there, k.

My solution?: I think you should all take turns in the garage room!
Musical beds.
That might get you a bit more sympathy, yes?
Though, then all of you will be cranky! What fun!

Seriously, good luck, possum.
Sounds like a bit of an ordeal to me.
Would you like me to send some ear plugs for Christmas?

Where is her husband while she's napping? Why isn't he sharing the burden of losing sleep in order to watch his kids while mom catches up on her sleep, or waking up at 6 am to supervise his kids so they don't disturb everyone else in the house?

(I just realized, some time after posting a response to k, that I actually started this thread! I'd totally forgotten. )

I have been talking to my niece about our Christmas arrangements for this year. She (who lives much closer to my mother's aged care facility & visits her much more often than I've been able to do) was of the opinion that dinner with my mother was not such a good idea, this time. Because she doesn't appear to know what's going on anymore & can't communicate at all. (My mother, for those of you who don't know, has Alzheimer disease.)
The last time I visited, I sat on the end of her bed for a hour & we weren't able to even have a short conversation. I'm not sure she knew who I was.

So I see my niece's point about skipping Christmas lunch this year, but .... I don't know ..
I feel I have to be there. What if she knows more than we think she does about what's going on around her? How would she feel about being completely deserted on Christmas Day? I can't bear to even think about that.

Anyway, I told my niece that I perfectly understood her feelings & not to feel under any obligation what-so-ever to attend, but that I felt I had to be there. My niece decided that she will come, too.
The management of the facility is being very obliging. If my mother is unable to attend the big dinner (which everyone attends), then they'll provide us with Christmas lunch in a private setting with my mother. So I think that's how it will be. My mother, my niece, me & my niece's little dog. (Who usually brightens my mother up a bit, but she's now oblivious to her, too.)

I am not looking forward to this at all. It looks like it going to be quite a melancholy Christmas for all of us. And it may be my mother's last Christmas ....

Earplugs are already in my suitcase! I'm ready! And I feel much better about myself if not about my family.

b-fly - the hubby works from home and takes break from work to watch the kids, get up with the kids, etc.

MissO - this is very sad. I am glad you decided to go not just because your mother may have a moment of lucidity and appreciate your being there, but also I think it's good for you (as much as you may not want to go). I think I would feel badly if I didn't go and it was her last Christmas. Don't you have a sister?

I'm sorry but I think this will go on and on. Your little sister has problems that will affect the children over time, and herself. I don't see the words "get counseling" as an easy fix, but she seems just like you described her last time but more so.

If I were you, and continued to visit, I'd get my own motel room.

Why did you all promote her moving back? Were you going to fix her? I think this has to do with her and mom.

good point. I think littlek explained that on the last episode.

We wanted her to move back because we love her. We also love her children. Just because they are pains in the ass sometimes doesn't make me love them less.

I feel it'll go on for a few years (2-3?) until the kids grow up a little. Her problems will affect her children, yes indeedy. She has had therapy in the past and continues to take pharma, but not see a therapist. It's something we've mentioned to her. She feels she doesn't have the time or the money to do so.

I can't really afford a hotel room. I'd rather just not go into the fray, or at least not for long.

Is there a problem with dealing directly with the kids and setting some boundaries for them?

For instance, setting a specific time they are allowed to come into the house while everyone is still sleeping.

Set a specific room they are allowed to use when in the house while everyone else is sleeping.

Provide headphones for them to use for the television while everyone else in the house is sleeping.

Better yet, provide a television with headphones out in the garage so they can stay out there with their parents until the rest of the house is awake.

You described her constant yammering before, and, if I remember, disappearances, dumping the kids on others.

Kids will block this out as some reason to stop, maybe at the same time comforted. I'm no psychologist, but her continued behavior seems to me a mess. And then the family lets it continue.

Where did you get the two or three years bit? The childs' mother is in some kind of long time non-ability behavior.

b-fly - I have tried to deal with the kids directly and will do so past a certain point. But, I know that sis gets irritated with that. Ultimately the rule is (as developed by their mom and grandmother) that the kids obey their parents and whomever house they are staying at. Sis clearly doesn't back me up with the kids and I don't want to risk their loss of respect for me or her angst at me by making rules that will never be followed.

Osso, kids that age are just naturally louder - higher pitched. Even just aging will tone their volume down.

I know, I know! Here's what you do: You go to the Cape over Christmas, and disinvite all misbehaving family members from your birthday. This is what the spirit of the bah-humbug season is all about!

Yes, sure, but will they tune your constant talking sister down? (when she is there)

Thomas, see above bit about love. I do love them and want to see them. I just wish we could find a compromise around sleep.

Osso - I'm just worrying about sleep now. If I am rested, I can handle the other stuff better.

Love always makes things complicated. You want to stay clear of it.