My sister and I: Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water....

Aaah...cool.

Families are weird, aren't they?

Not a big birthday, no. Last year was and I went out with my Bro and a friend of ours. That was nice.

Mom says she'll cook what ever I want cooked for my birthday. Unfortunately I don't like her cooking and the reason we go out is that life is chaotic. Maybe I'll offer to pay for take out. <Sigh> now I sound like a brat.

The impression I get is that your sister has never gone out of her way to accomadate your needs. (I know it's always more complicated than that and we only ever see the bits we want to here on A2K.)

I do not see why you should not return the favour.
Stand up for yourself.

I spent the evening of my fortieth birthday with my husband in a cold greenhouse with a mere few beginning landscape architecture students. What was I thinking...

Anyway, I'm not all better than thou, I just hate to see K taken to the family cleaners again. Where is the brother on this?

DONT! offer to pay for take out so your overspending sister can have a free meal.
Jeeezus!

Lol!!! We all have an inner brat.

Lest anyone think this is just family:

Four of my friends have a birthday around the same time (3 of them on the same day.)

We have all been friends for a minimum of 30 years.

My very close friend S is one of these.

T is another one. T's partner, Sh ALWAYS takes over The Birthday.

S is outraged by this. R is mildly pissed off. T knows that S and R are not so happy with it.

J, the other birthday person, is happy with whatever happens.

Every year, S says she isn't gonna take it any more! She says she is gonna take charge.

Every year she doesn't.

Every year, we hear the moans and gripes and such. Every year, I get mildly irritated by said moans and gripes and the lack of action. However, I have tried to help, and realised that S is happier with the moans than with rocking the boat.

However, S's husband, K, is sick of it!!!

So, now, every year, we have the moans and gripes AND the big S and K fight, where he attacks her for being so passive aggressive.

Every year I want to support K, but I am way too smart to get involved!

It is what it is. Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

Well, happy bloody birthday!!!!


Hope it is great despite the drama!

Great post, dlowan, I understood every nuance..

I can only say what my solution to your problem might be:

Invite the family to join you for dessert somewhere lovely then go have dinner and a wonderful time withyour brother.

Make it an "eat dessert first" party.

Have fun. Celebrate. In the long run you'll be glad you found a way for your family to be together without the angst that money brings with it.

I'm not a boy, she said icily.

We used to do that kind of thing..
a drink and appetizers at, say, Rex (a good restaurant that I never did eat at, but did the appetizer thing, from above)
Light meal in Chinatown.
Gelato on Melrose Avenue.

Interesting idea for this situation, Boom.

So ... did I stumble onto a birthday thread disguised as a relationship thread? How clever! How selfish!

Did anyone bring the cake?

on Rex -
REX

Tsar even stumbles well..

I'm drunk on candy canes. I'm eating my fifth candy cane in an hour.

watchit,kid.

Think protein.

(uh oh, beans)

Crap, now I want candy canes. Where can I find candy canes?! I'll have to settle for a Cold-EeeZe.

Ok, I'm going full-brat. Some years I just feel like ignoring my birthday. Regardless of the stupid financial complications this year and my irritation with my sister, the day is still smack up against xmas. This means that everyone is running around crazily trying to be done preparing for the holiday, going to holiday parties, etc. On my birthday proper I will be getting a cap put on my tooth after work, packing, and driving to the Cape late at night.

Thanks for the cake, Tsar! It looks virtually delicious!

I'm fighting the urge to walk to the 24 hour Duane Reade and score a pint o' Haagen Dazs ... these candy canes aren't working anymore tonight plus I only have one left.

How are those Cold-Eeeze?

K, I'm really sorry that this family tsimes is ruining your anticipation of your birthday. I just don't want it to ruin the celebration itself. And I wish I could be there to help you celebrate.

I'm the queen of compromise in these sorts of situations. Having low expectations helps me a lot.