My sister and I: Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water....

I'm torn. Many of you remember the issues I've had with the sister I worked for for many years. We argued about my pay (the usual), Christmas gift limits, spending less on birthday dinners and so on. And we argued fiercely about the definitions of social class, monetary priorities, and the concept of want and need when it came to spending money. It's taken 2 years to mostly get past the final hash out. I was feeling good that we had. Then, last November she and her husband finally faced the crisis that was coming their way. Somehow they were in debt in a big way. They had spent money without seeing the consequences of over-spending and are cutting back to the bone.

While the family certainly supports them living within their means, their cut back is also impacting us as a family. For example, for T-day dinner, we all split up the cooking responsibility. We have been doing this for years. My sis usually makes a fantabulous stuffing, but this year said she couldn't afford to (what's in the stuff you might want to know, I do). She had my mother buy ingredients. My parents are living on a fixed income and their retirement stocks and bonds have been slashed over the last few years - didn't seem fair to me. Another example is that they now want to be no part in birthday dinners (mine is this month) if we are eating out. After years of inviting us to way expensive restaurants and us limiting our food choices to afford the meal, they want out. I'm feeling gypped.

So, do I tell her she's made her bed and head to dinner with my bro and parents? Do I mention how we've been overspending for years to afford her dinner plans? Do I just suck it up and let my mother cook a meal that I get to design?

I'm leaning to the last option, after trying a compromise solution of a lunch at a fairly cheap diner.