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My sister and I: Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water....

Forums: Relationships, Family, Holidays
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CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:40 pm
Hah! Life finally caught up with your sister and she will have to learn to
budget her finances. She is a user and always will be a user, nothing will change
that. She has no class either! Having your parents pick up the stuffing as she
is poor now, is as low as you can go.

I agree with Green Witch, it doesn't help anyone if you start a family feud,
have a nice dinner at a restaurant of your choice and give them the option to
attend or stay home.
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:41 pm
I am not at all sure my parents will agree to do the meal out without my sister's family. And I think the act of having a meal out without them may just cause a family feud.
dadpad
 
  3  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:45 pm
Then dont tell them she won't come. Short message to everyone B'day dinner is at ....... time date, all welcome.
RAM the message home k and feel good about it.
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:49 pm
@dadpad,
THEY told ME should won't come. She didn't tell me anything.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:52 pm
@littlek,
Ya know...I'd never have connected gypped with Roma...but it's way obvious, isn't it?

Doh!
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:52 pm
@littlek,
Who pays for the meal? Does everyone chip in and pay for the person who is celebrating the birthday? If your parents will not eat out without your sister than let them pick up the tab. You should not feel guilty about that, your sister should.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:53 pm
@littlek,
I can't see why it would bother your parents, so long as the sister's family were invited, but I don't know them, so maybe it would. Maybe they would even feel obliged to pay their way, though I gather nobody was picking up your tab.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:53 pm
@littlek,
Your parents won't come if your sister won't? wtf?

So, you and brother go have a good meal out, and have some nice wine on me. Well, hey, one glass, anyway.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:54 pm
@littlek,
littlek wrote:

THEY told ME should won't come. She didn't tell me anything.


Oh for Pete's sake!!!


While very old friendships can get as daffy as this, sometimes I am SO glad I am a poor orphling with a beloved, but dead, sister!!!
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 08:58 pm
@dlowan,
Seems like a family of adolescents run by the four year old sister. Not to be rude, but I've heard about this for years.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:01 pm
@littlek,
Your family dynamics is somewhat off, littlek. It is your birthday and they should honor whatever you suggest and want. If they wouldn't come because
your sister declined to show up, then perhaps it would be best to celebrate
with the ones who truly care to be with you.

I am so sorry that this is even an issue with your family - it's very unfortunate!
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:02 pm
My parents can no longer pick up the tab, although until a few years ago they did. We usually pay our own way, but sometimes Dad pays if he feels ok about the stock market. We offer. But, with my sisters come husbands and children. So, Dad picking up the tab doesn't really happen anymore - and shouldn't as far as I'm concerned.

dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:03 pm
@dlowan,
dlowan wrote:

, sometimes I am SO glad I am a poor orphling with a beloved, but dead, sister!!!

How sad
poor fellow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Xuq7kdNaOk&feature=related
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:08 pm
@littlek,
littlek wrote:

THEY told ME should won't come. She didn't tell me anything.


So.

Lemme recap.

You have not actually spoken with your sister about what restrictions she feels she needs to put on what she can and cannot do to celebrate your birthday?

Your mother has TOLD you that there are restrictions?

Erm...I'd have thought the first step is having a chat with your sister, letting her know your mum said she has concerns re what celebration she can afford, and seeing where it goes.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:08 pm
@littlek,
I agree, your parents shouldn't be the ones to pick up the tab for your sister.
0 Replies
 
littlek
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:10 pm
@dlowan,
Sis has a message on her cell. And now an email has gone out to the family as a whole.
Green Witch
 
  2  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:12 pm
@littlek,
From what you say, this is not really up to you. Your sister is the piper and your parents are willing to dance to her tune. That means you can either dance with them on their terms or forget the whole thing and go out with some friends on your birthday.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:12 pm
@littlek,
Can you make that clearer...who is the first "she"?

Who has emailed the family?
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:14 pm
@dlowan,
I left a message on my sis' cell phone a while back, but haven't heard back. I just now sent an email to the sis, b-in-law, parents and bro about whether this was a mutual feeling.
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 12 Dec, 2009 09:15 pm
@Green Witch,
Green Witch wrote:

From what you say, this is not really up to you. Your sister is the piper and your parents are willing to dance to her tune. That means you can either dance with them on their terms or forget the whole thing and go out with some friends on your birthday.


Or do a home-based family thing, (either with seething, or a feeling that this is what 'k has decided to accept) AND have a wing ding with friends.

Is it a BIG Boithday, 'k?
 

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