socal wrote :
I can't find any motivation to do anything right now
let me tell you how sorry i am for your loss . i recently lost my wife and can understand what you are going through - i think .
i try to speak with neighbours and friends who have lost their spouses . they told me that it is like falling into a very deep hole ... it may feel like you will never come out of it .
they also tell me that dealing with grief is a very personal thing - everyone deals with it differently .
you may feel down and out for months to come .
those people still feel sad and weepy after years .
but at a certain point they all started to improve somewhat - but admit that they still have times when they feel down and out .
a neighbour told me that writing letters to her departed husband gave her some solace - though i have not done so yet .
i'll probably be joining a support group this fall - perhaps it will help .
if you have even one friend who will listen to you , try to talk just a little bit about yourself - but don't overwhelm the friend .
can't really tell what is best for you .
i try to walk everyday somewhere under the trees - even in the cemetery - and it helps me .
i even talk to the cemetery gardeners - they seem to appreciate a chat now and then .
i also read old , familiar books .
and i just bought myself five used books for $ 2 - they are old but the titles look interesting - it's also cheaper than just one newspaper .
i also need plenty of "down time" - just simple rest .
i don't know if this helps at all - truly sorry for your loss .
if it makes you feel better at all , put your thoughts and feelings here on a2k -
but don't do anything you do not want to do .
try to stay in touch with us .
(i'll be phoning an old friend now - just to chat with her) .
try and take care of yourself .
(haven't spilled things out before - it's not easy - particularly for a man - we are supposed to be strong - but are really the weak of the species when it comes to mental strength of coping , i believe )
(does all of this make sense to you ? i don't know - so perhaps just read it as a bit of scribbling )