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How do I overcome the loss of my Mom when I was already in a depression?

 
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 13 Sep, 2009 03:49 pm
@socal2010,
Great post to read, Socal. I was pretty much offline for a few weeks and missed it until now. Anyway, I feel glad you connected to the hospice counsellor and .. this is useful information for others to know that may read this thread some time in the future.

Happy about the suncatcher.
0 Replies
 
BorisKitten
 
  1  
Reply Tue 15 Sep, 2009 03:04 pm
Can we see a picture of the suncatcher?

Kinda silly to want to see it, I guess. But maybe I'd want one too.
0 Replies
 
socal2010
 
  1  
Reply Sun 20 Sep, 2009 03:37 pm
Sure, I will post it once it arrives. Smile

Hopefully posting pics isn't too complicated. I think I just need a photobucket.

I should get it by the end of this week or next week hopefully.

Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Sat 10 Oct, 2009 03:32 am
@socal2010,
Hey SoCal - how ya doin' gal?

Been hoping you are alright and dealing with each day as it comes by. Hope sleep is better for you and mornings go by quickly.

((So))
socal2010
 
  2  
Reply Sun 17 Jan, 2010 03:42 pm
@Izzie,
Hello!!

Sorry it's been so long. I feel like I vomited on you all and then left without cleaning up. LOL

A lot has happened since I last posted. My stepdad took a turn for the worse in late Sept and passed away in October. I didn't feel like talking about it for a while. I learned a lot about life taking care of him and I'm grateful for the memories we had. I learned the true meaning of living one day at a time and trying to make the most of each day. Little things became big celebrations for us, like when my Mom's roses bloomed in the backyard.

I'm feeling better emotionally about everything. I'm at peace with all that happened and I'm grateful I could be there for my stepdad in his final months. I'm grateful my Mom knew how much I loved her and I'm grateful for the relationship we had. I know how much she loved me and that love is still here for me. I'm especially grateful to have a Mom who taught me that I deserve the best and to treat myself well. I'm trying to do that now. I pamper myself when I can and I try not to have negative thoughts about myself. I'm easier on myself now. I'm ready and open to have some happiness come into my life.

I did see a new counselor for a little while after my stepdad died, I can't honestly say it helped but I'm not sorry I went either. It's part of learning to reach out and ask for help, which is a necessarily part in recovering from grief. I think the biggest help for me was reaching out to a few friends who I have grown to trust completely. I opened myself up and made myself vulnerable in a way I would have never done before all this happened. What they gave back to me was unconditional love and support.

I've also found that being physically productive in some way leads to more positive thoughts. When I spend too much time thinking that's usually a sign to me that I need to do more physically. I can usually get out of a "bad place" in my head if I start doing things, even something like weeding the yard or any type of chore. I also have received a couple signs from my Mom (at least I think they were signs) and that made me feel so much better!

I started working again part-time, although I'm probably going to get into a new type of career once I research things more. My parents left me financially stable so I don't have to rush into anything yet I also don't want to waste any money, I want to be smart with it. Now is the time for me to create some new and positive change, so I'm thinking about all the things I really love to do and coming up with a new career plan.

I also recently started having feelings for a wonderful man who was really there for me during all of this. He has so much patience it's amazing. He's pretty much the most supportive man I've ever met. I'm taking things VERY slow with him though and mainly we're still in the friend stage. I don't know what will happen in the future with him or if it will be any type of romance or relationship. But he was definitely a source of strength for me the past few months.

Now to the important part (lol)....about the suncatcher...IT NEVER CAME!!!

I contacted the company and he apologized, he said they moved locations and somehow didn't have any in stock anymore. So I never got it. This just proves that in life, sometimes you don't get what you wanted, but you get what you need. Smile


(((hugs to all)))


Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Jan, 2010 04:10 pm
@socal2010,
Well, goodness me, there you are girl... oh... gosh, hmmmmmmmm... so very sorry about your StepDad... you've had so much to deal with

you have certainly been on a huge journey these last few months.

I'm so glad you came back here and talked - it's very good to see you - and ... well, as for the man in your life - I hope and wish that everything works out as is meant to be Very Happy

You sound so much more at peace with yourself... it's really good to read your words. Your true friends are unconditional... it's a gift, friendship, comes with no strings attached. I'm glad you've got them - makes life and the struggles so much easier to bear when you have them to talk to.

As for the suncatcher - well, one day you'll be passing a store and see that perfect catcher for the sun. You wait and see Very Happy

(((((((((((SoCal)))))))))))) x
0 Replies
 
BorisKitten
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Jan, 2010 04:56 pm
@socal2010,
Quote:
I'm easier on myself now. I'm ready and open to have some happiness come into my life.

SUCH good news!

And you're so right about being physically productive, in small or large ways. You're so smart about life! Sending big <hugs> your way.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Jan, 2010 05:15 pm
All very good to hear, SoCal, and it's great to see you back.
I have what I think of as a suncatcher, though it is not at all like a friend's suncatchers - I just got up and looked at it. Have to put it in a better place.

The friend with the suncatcher is Dyslexia of A2k - he has one in his truck, and a workman friend of theirs made him/them a new one for the house recently. All good..

Mine is more like a drooled glass ornament hanging from a cord.

This amuses me. I have a lot of wire and baubles around. Maybe I need to work up some sun catchers of my own devising.
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Sun 17 Jan, 2010 05:56 pm
Good to know things have worked out. We often worry when someone comes here with a story like yours and then disappears. Thank you for updating and please stick around.
0 Replies
 
 

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