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Sex by the third date?

 
 
Treya
 
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 05:42 am
I was having a discussion with a co-worker the other day about dating and he swore to me there is an unspoken rule with guys that you have to have sex with them by the third date to keep them interested. If not they will move on to the next thing. He honestly believes ALL guys are like this. I'm not so sure I agree though. I've been off the dating scene so long now I'm not really sure about anything to be honest. lol So I thought I would come here and see if any of you have heard of this unspoken rule and if there's any truth to it at all.

Personally I think if there's chemistry between two people it will just happen when it happens. When both of you are comfortable. There shouldn't be a game about it, or an expectation that someone HAS to be comfortable enough by the third date or risk losing the person. Someone like that to me wouldn't be worth continuing dating anyway. What do you think?
 
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 05:50 am
@Treya,
You co-worker is an idiot. I would say if you find out a guy subscribes to that "rule" it's a good way to weed out the immature jerks from the real men.

You could tell him that the rule women have is if a man expects sex by the third date it's a sign that he's a desperate loser.


Treya
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 06:39 am
@Green Witch,
LOL Good one Green Witch! I'm sure I'll get the opportunity to tell him that!
0 Replies
 
Thomas
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 07:54 am
@Treya,
Treya wrote:
I was having a discussion with a co-worker the other day about dating and he swore to me there is an unspoken rule with guys that you have to have sex with them by the third date to keep them interested.

Hooey.
0 Replies
 
sullyfish6
 
  2  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 08:10 am
How old are you?

I notice that people under 49 jump in bed, THEN get to know each other, while those over 50 get to know each other, THEN consider whether they want to add sex to the realationship.

In any case, there is no set rule.

0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 08:33 am
@Treya,
Treya wrote:
Personally I think if there's chemistry between two people it will just happen when it happens. When both of you are comfortable. There shouldn't be a game about it, or an expectation that someone HAS to be comfortable enough by the third date or risk losing the person. Someone like that to me wouldn't be worth continuing dating anyway.

Well, of course you wouldn't get the chance to continue dating him, since you're not willing to put out by the third date. That's just common sense.
OGIONIK
 
  0  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 08:49 am
@Treya,
who in the **** even dates anymore.

srsly though :/
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 10:04 am
If a gal wants to be my steady date, she must agree to lay down in the backseat by the end credits of the first picture show.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 10:28 am
I've never thought about how how quickly I had sex with someone. If I liked them, it was quick.
If I didn't like them, we didn't get as far as a 3rd date. 2 strikes you're out.

Dating is supposed to fun, and if you like someone right away the sex is fun.

I'm an adult and don't lay some moral value on myself as to if I want to have sex with someone or not.

I've had sex with people that turned out to be not a good match for me, but it didn't make the sex any less enjoyable. I can't think of one person who was good in bed that I've regreted.

I've regretted a few who were bad in bed, but how would I have known unless I'd done it?

This "only have sex after marriage, or at least when you're in love" is for the birds.

I'm 50 now, and if I was single, and met someone who turned me on, I'm mature enough to know to that sex can be just that, just sex, and I'd carpe diem.

Garg, let's go to a double feature.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 10:32 am
@chai2,
Dr. Chai is right.. well, to me.
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 10:49 am
@chai2,
Splendid! I will bring the prophylactics.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 11:27 am
@Gargamel,
Gargamel wrote:

Splendid! I will bring the prophylactics.


you better bring some condoms too.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  0  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 03:50 pm
@chai2,
The good doctor is correct.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  0  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 05:08 pm
Yeeeup.
Gotta chime in on that one too.

I dont think I have ever stopped to insult myself or question my integrity because I wanted to have sex with someone.
really.
it is just sex.

Gotta have sex by the third date?

1) that guy is too young for me. That is a childish mentality

2) If that is his life goal, he aint no good in bed Wink
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 06:11 pm
google sex "third date" and you will get for example
Quote:
Everyone has different ideas about when you should infuse a dating relationship with sex. Apparently, the widely accepted “third date” rule no longer holds true. First of all, in New York, I’ve been told that it’s the “second date” rule. Secondly, everyone has different ideas about what time is the right time. Tyrone says that women, if they want a particular guy to like them, should only have sex after 55 hours of contact:

http://funkybrownchick.com/2005/08/11/the-third-date-rule/

it is obvious to me after 120 seconds of checking that this dude is not making up his own rules, that the put out by the third date rule is part of the culture.
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 06:24 pm
@hawkeye10,
Yeah, I get all my relationship information from Tyrone. Rolling Eyes

Why wait at all? Maybe we should just walk around naked and jump each other like a troop of baboons.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 06:26 pm
@Green Witch,
I think that's been done..
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 06:27 pm
@Green Witch,
Quote:
Why wait at all? Maybe we should just walk around naked and jump each other like a troop of baboons


I have no idea why we value waiting. If it were my call humans would be like bonobos rather than baboons though, but as you know I am kinda out there when it comes to sex.
Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 06:39 pm
@hawkeye10,
I have no idea how "out there" you are when it come to sex or anything else. I do know that sex is more pleasurable when I feel I am emotionally invested in a person and not just his easy sperm receptacle.
hawkeye10
 
  0  
Reply Wed 17 Jun, 2009 06:44 pm
@Green Witch,
Quote:
I do know that sex is more pleasurable when I feel I am emotionally invested in a person and not just his easy sperm receptacle.


I am not sure if that makes you a minority or not, but it may. In the circles that I run in you would be considered odd.
 

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