Visiting a dying friend

Thank u, Jespah

I read that during the last years of Thomas Edison,
he visited hospitals some of whose patients
had almost reached the end of their earthly lives
and that he put their beds upon scales of weight.

This allegedly revealed that,
at the moment when perceptible life functions ceased,
the patients lost perceptible weight.
I believe that it woud be a good and valuable contribution
to our accumulated knowledge if respected medical experts
endeavored to replicate this experiment; confirm or deny.

I talked to my friend's husband again today. She is having even more bad symptoms from the chemo and is seriously considering suspending it. She will make the final decision on that Monday. IF she does decide to suspend it, her death will come much sooner, but she might have some quality of life left.

listening...

My friend just called. She sounded so weak. She told me she is suspending chemotherapy. She said she got in the bathtub last night and couldn't get out. A while back, she and I had a talk about hospice. She thouoght hospice was a place you went, and didn't realize it could be in the home. I hope she remembers that talk now. I was going to send some information about it to her husband, but I thought that would be too intrusive.

You could always broach it with your friend's husband. Let him know that you'd talked about it with her.

They've both got a lot to think about. Providing a little bit of information that might make things easier ... he/she/they could say no thank you ... but really it can't hurt.

They know you love them.

Hang onto that dominion, mags.

I'm so sorry mags.
Do what you can. Make the offer to her husband. Let them know that you're available to research or look up any info they might want or need online. Or whatever. At this point, that's all you can do. Make yourself available.

thanks guys, for your advice and support. I think I might email her husband with information, saying that I had already talked to my friend about it.

It can do no harm Mags.... you guys share hearts.... they can use the information if they need to.

Listening, hugging you and sending you some strength when you feel a little lost.

Take care...

Izzie x

Best to you, Mags. All information is good.

I talked to my friend yesterday. She says the worst is not knowing what to expect. Although she says she feels miserable, she says she doesn't feel like she's dying yet. I didn't know what to say. I am so sad.

Hey Mags...

how are you girl? how is your friend?

you ok?

hugs
x

I respectfully suggest that it woud be the kind thing to do
to buy her a book from some medical doctor
(for instance, Raymond Moody, Jr. M.D.)
on the subject of conscious life surviving death of the human body
and how the spirit LIKES IT and has a good time
and does not wish to return.

www.IANDS.org

That woud be the act of a good friend
( or at least find out if it is welcome; if not, she will find out soon enuf ).





David

Your friend is right. Not knowing is the worst. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Have they looked into hospice yet? Hospice is usually great about filling in the blanks and making sure patients get all the info they need. They are patient advocates.

We have a friend who was recently diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS). Hospice has been great...they've arranged for equipment, medications, care-giving, you name it. They've also brought him lots of info about what to expect and the best way to manage the dying process on his own terms. It's made him much less fearful.

Encourage your friends to look into hospice as soon as possible. And be aware, there are lots of hospice organizations out there. Some are better than others. (And they're not all non-profits.)

My friend signed up with hospice last week. The nurse has already been there twice, and they delivered oxygen a couple of days ago, so she will have it when she needs it. I think they are hooked up with a really good hospice organization; her oncologist suggested them. My friend is very calm now. I talk to her every other day on the phone. She seems a bit stronger now that she's terminated treatment.

Oh! I'm glad to hear they've gone with hospice! They should be able to give her the answers she needs.

That's very good. For both your friend, her family and you.

Hi Mags. It sounds like your friend is more at ease now. I'm glad you're able to speak with her regularly.

Good to read. How are you doing, mags?

I' m doing okay, I guess. I feel just on the verge of depression, but I feel better now that she will cared for by hospice. I will miss her so much. She has been my sister for so many years. I don't really remember when she crossed over from friend to family, but it was a long, long time ago. She has been such a huge part of my life. My husband says anytime we want to go visit again, just say the word. I hope she gets strong enough to be able to tolerate visitors. And thanks, you guys, for checking back on me.