4
   

Visiting a dying friend

 
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2008 05:28 pm
@mags314772,
Bloody marys good enough. We'll not be after you about that.

I don't know that you need to gear up.. in some kind of panic. You have had friend conversations before. Be at peace, and if you do get to be with her alone, then there you go.
mags314772
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2008 05:35 pm
@ossobuco,
I must say the bloody marys have a calming effect. You're right, if I don't get to be alone with her, we've had alone times all during our friendship and we know how we feel about each other.
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2008 05:35 pm
@mags314772,
mags314772 wrote:

I just realized I replied to myself. That'll give you some small notion of how things are churning. I also just had two bloody marys.


I hear ya, girlfriend. Now's the time for those bloody marys.
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  2  
Reply Thu 18 Sep, 2008 05:48 pm
@mags314772,
Mags... you did great.... no hugging then..... just a little hand hold if you can.

Will be thinking of you girl. A few mins alone.... can hubby engineer that time for you and your friend.

Take care xxxx
mags314772
 
  2  
Reply Sat 20 Sep, 2008 06:31 pm
@Izzie,
At the end of my third visit this morning, my friend hugged me and my husband and told me she loved me. Total visiting time was less than two hours for the trip, but, as I told her, she was worth it. I cried part of the way home and again after I got home, but I feel better now. I don't know if I'll see her again, but we will talk on the phone. She is very frail, tired and thin. She was hoping to make it to March, when a new grandchild is due. I don't know.
Joeblow
 
  1  
Reply Sat 20 Sep, 2008 08:04 pm
@mags314772,
it's all so bittersweet mags. I'm glad you had the chance to go.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Sat 20 Sep, 2008 10:16 pm
@mags314772,
Quote:
Tomorrow I am going to visit my friend of 53 years who is
dying of lung cancer; I am both sad a challenged. I would die for her
if I could. I am coping with losing her, but she is coping with
losing everything, even herself. She asked me if she should pray
for a miracle, and I told her it couldn't hurt. But I am not
comfortable offering religious platitudes. I know we'll be okay
once we start talking. I'm just nervous about how to begin

People I 've known who have died (usually in hospitals)
have been indifferent to the event of their deaths,
except when thay were leaving children behind.

At a convention of cardiologists some years ago, one of them
dropped dead of a heart attack, and was brought back by the
pounding of another one; he came back cursing:
asking Y thay did not leave him alone, that he was OK,
observing the emergency rescue.

My best advice is to arm yourself with a book concerning
near death experiences; check the New Age section of any
decent sized bookstore. If u actually KNOW anyone who has
returned from death (very exist in very large numbers!) bring him along.

Console your friend that he is about to have a wonderful, happy adventure,
in which we will all join him. I have it on good authority
from a lot of people who have been dead, that death is FUN!
It is a misnomer; it is a fake,
in that he will remain alive and fully conscious,
tho without the use of his vehicle, that wore out.
www.IANDS.org Be cheerful !




David
eoe
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2008 11:37 am
I do know how you feel, mags.
www.able2know.org/topic/22732-1#post-645869
mags314772
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2008 12:34 pm
@eoe,
I'm sorry about your brother, and you are right on, you do understand my feelings. Thanks for your help.
0 Replies
 
mags314772
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2008 12:36 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
She is leaving children behind, and grandchildren. So she is sad. Also leaving her beloved husband of 45 years.
eoe
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2008 12:52 pm
@mags314772,
She has every right to be sad.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2008 06:49 pm
@eoe,
Quote:
She has every right to be sad.

Yes.
I 'd never challenge anyone 's right to select an emotion,
but I suggest that there are better options than that one:
the Chinese one, for example. Thay beat drums for happiness,
in recognition of the good fortune of the decedent.
(I 've seen them do this.)

People who have died usually speak well of it,
after thay are awakened (if thay remember the experience)
and thay have no fear of future deaths. A lot of them complain
about being revived.

Take, for example, Dannion Brinkley; GOOGLE him.
He was hit by lightning in 1975, incurring extremely catastrophic injuries,
including 2 deaths.
He is eager to leave this limited Earthly world,
but it is not his time yet. He came back with major ESP.

I encourage an optimistic attitude.
According to me, sadness is not much fun.
0 Replies
 
LionTamerX
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2008 07:09 pm
@mags314772,
Mags,
At the very least tell her how much you love her.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a well timed and much needed Bloody Mary.


And if I may,

Hold your dominion.
mags314772
 
  2  
Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2008 03:38 pm
@LionTamerX,
I love the Hold Your Dominion. It was very comforting and familiar
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2008 04:06 pm
@mags314772,
Quote:
I love the Hold Your Dominion

Does that mean
defend your house ?

A lot of folks recommend shotguns for that with OO Buckshot.
I prefer a .44 special revolver loaded with hollowpointed slugs.
I deem .44 magnum to be counterproductive,
causing overpenetration with resultant forfeiture of a full energy dump,
tho it does occasion exsanguination from the exit wound,
but with excessive time before loss of consciousness.
Remember: the name of the game is STOPPING POWER.
U must effectively degrade the enemy 's offensive capability ASAP.





David
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Tue 23 Sep, 2008 04:28 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
David, re the dominion, see: http://able2know.org/topic/120478-1
mags314772
 
  3  
Reply Thu 25 Sep, 2008 03:58 pm
@LionTamerX,
I talked to my friend's husband yesterday. My friend's white blood count id nothing and she's getting a blood transfusion today. Things are looking bad for her to finish this round of chemo.
Izzie
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Sep, 2008 04:20 pm
@mags314772,
Oh Mags... so sorry to hear that.....

Take the times you can to talk on the phone, write a letter, tell her you love her...

Today is the important day... we never know if our tomorrows will come... so just take each day as it comes.

Talk whenever you need to here - no matter how strong we all wish to be.... it's terribly hard to think positively all the time ... so do talk when you need to.

Sending you love and best wishes Mags. x
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 25 Sep, 2008 04:29 pm
@mags314772,
Hold your dominion, mags.

and in the alternative, come here and let us help you hang on to it.

Your friend knows you love her.
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 25 Sep, 2008 09:22 pm
@ehBeth,
That's what matters most of all.
0 Replies
 
 

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