Remembering Noddy24, Always

It is with a heavy heart that I tell you all that our beloved Noddy24 -- Janie -- passed on this morning. Tonight and throughout this topic I want to celebrate her life. The links in this topic are music, some background as you read. I hope you'll listen. I think Noddy would've liked the whole multimedia experience, given what a Renaissance Woman she was.
You're a bluebird on a telegraph line

It should come as no great surprise to anyone that she was a Moderator. I well recall spending time on the phone with her, walking her through the Help Desk. Every now and then the tutorial would be interrupted with an occasional bark, then Noddy would turn to her beloved dog and ask, "Iffy, do you want a cookie?" Iffy, by the way, was short for Iphegenia, if you please.

Iffy got a lot of cookies, and Noddy never really did get the hang of the Help Desk. So we changed things up and she became the F/D/M Manager. What's F/D/M, you ask? Why, that's Feature/Defeature/Move, all of which are, ironically won't have to be done manually in the upcoming newer version of A2K (computer tagging will fulfill that need). But for the past years, if a topic was moved, it was usually Noddy, who either did it or directed another Moderator to do so, or vetted requests and suggestions by the general membership, and fretted about forums having too few or too many featured topics. If your topic was featured, thank Noddy. She made most of the decisions about that, and featurings reflected not only her taste but also her understanding of the diversity of A2K's membership.

Noddy -- we called her Jill -- was knowledgeable in so many subjects it may end up being easier to list what she didn't know about. Computers -- that was often timber's bailiwick and when he passed away that work fell to other Moderators. Autos -- that wasn't really a Noddy specialty, either. Same with Video Games and Sports. But almost everything else was, and her thoughtful attention made the forums interesting and lively in a myriad of subtle ways.

As a Moderator, she also of course weighed in on a lot of the behind the scenes decisions that we made, and the discussions that we had. She was as funny and practical talking about moderating as she was talking about anything else. She was particularly amused by some of our earthier members, including the Rap Battlers. As for all of the pulled information, she once said that A2K had a porn collection to rival the Vatican's.

Her life was not an easy one. She buried one of her sons. Her first marriage ended in divorce. She lived in an isolated part of the country. Able2know brought her companionship, solace and contact with the rest of the universe, all in its glorious messiness. In her turn, she brought her wisdom, experience, pragmatism and good humor to everyone she touched.

She was not a child of the '60s, but she remembered them well and occasionally spoke of that.

We are stardust, we are golden,
We are billion year old carbon,
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

No, she wasn't at Woodstock. But she knew that time period well and its impact on the genders and the aftershocks that are still being felt. Gender roles and stereotypes were for smashing. But she was always, as she said, a Good Woman. She might have complained, but she still did everything that needed to be done. Her sense of duty was extremely strong, particularly when it came to Mr. Noddy.

Anyone who has read the topic in Aging knows of her issues with him. He is, as I suppose one could say genteelly, losing his faculties. It is the slow theft of mind and personality that comes with advancing dementia. Jill bore it all with grace but yes, a little sighing. But it's totally understandable. That way must be very difficult.

I don't know much about Mr. Noddy from before he was ill, but I do know that D__ (0macneil, Jill's son) loves him dearly. I have no doubt that before illness robbed him, there was a lot to love and admire. Jill wouldn't have had it any other way. So for Mr. Noddy I offer this song.

Understand what I've become, it wasn't my design

And what of D__? He and his wife live here in Massachusetts, and he brought Jill to a gathering a couple of years ago. He's a good guy, D__ is. Stoic and smart. I hope he doesn't mind, but this song is for him. My heart goes out to him. All of our hearts go out to him. I hope he will feel, someday, that he can join us again. He's an A2Ker by osmosis, by need, by proxy and by genome. I thank him again for sharing so very much of Jill's final days. It is a rare privilege to be let in, so deeply, into the life of a family. He and his wife, L__, and all of their family, are always welcome, at every A2K gathering, anywhere, at any time.

... love is the only road



Jill's pragmatism and her desire to tweak gender roles made her a natural at giving advice to forlorn, scared and smitten folks in the Relationships forum in particular, although her reach was all over the site. The phrase "Hold your dominion" was more than shorthand for "keep everything together". It was her way of telling people that they were big enough and important enough and wise enough to even have a dominion. That no matter how small it was, you were King or Queen of your castle and Lord or Lady over all you surveyed. For many, that was the very statement of empowerment that they needed. And it all happened in three little words.

Three little words. Three others, I love you. Those come to mind, too. And you who are reading this, include yourselves in that "you" part. Because you are dominion-holders, too.

My last phone call with Jill was when she went into the hospital the time before this one. We talked about everything. She had a lot to say about my job, about moderating, about politics, about dogs, and about the news. I can still hear her voice in my ear. I can still hear her laughing.

Jill was a practicing Wiccan, and was so for over five decades. August is the month for sunflowers, so if you see a sunflower, think of her. Wicca is a celebration of the natural world, and we all know she loved the moon, and howling and dogs and gardens and the beauty that is all around us, every day.

... memories to hold

I close with one more personal story, and I hope you will indulge me. In May, RP and I went to visit my parents. It promised to be an emotionally difficult visit. Jill sent a book, and I'm ashamed to say I have not yet opened it. Tonight I hold it tight, and cherish the gift and the small note that came with it.

Never to be forgotten, always to be loved. Somewhere, cavfancier is cooking, timber is telling stories and Noddy is adding her own quips. It is an honor to give her the Moderator Emeritus title, which she and timber will always carry. Take it away, A2Kers, take it away and give Jill/Janie/Noddy her propers. She loved science fiction, so talk about your Close Encounters of the Noddy Kind. Howl at the moon, give the dog a cookie, read a book, counsel a friend and clutch your dominions tight. This topic is for you, to celebrate what has been, to mourn what cannot be, and to keep together and hold in your arms.

Anyone who's ever had a heart

And death shall have no dominion