[Edit: I admit to not having read the back-story from the beginning so that probably invalidates my opinion. I'm going to take a shot anyhow. I'll go back and read the early posts in a bit. then I'll reply again and alter what I wrote if I'm off base. ]
You have my sympathy and empathy.
When I've been faced with what seems like total insanity or being totally blindsided, I would take some time to strengthen myself. Objectivity and emotional understanding of what happened is a hard commodity to expect at this time
You sacrificed a lot (and risked your health with bad knee) all the while helping her to move. Her anal-retentive cleaning protocol probably doubled the time it too to mover her. On top of that you did this while having a damaged knee.
Sure sounds more than supportive to me. I can't be sure as I don't know a lot details and back-story, but she sounds controlling and kind of unpredictable emotionally. Words like Unfair to the max comes to mind.
I wonder how someone could act that way...unless she was temporarily insane or horribly damaged somehow by something going on in her life that is life-threatening illness? Perhaps this behavior of hers has to do with her having some sort of immune system illness (like cancer?). Who knows what sort of state of mind I'd be in if I were me in that situation.
However, that being said, I'd not be trying to hurt (deliberately or not) the person who is being most supportive over the long and the short timeframes.
I probably don't know a lot facts and details, but somehow, I'd pack up and find a place to store all of her belongings. At an appropriately short timeframe of YOUR suiting, I'd return them with NO
. In my mind there's really nothing productive to be gained by writing something poignant or inquisitive or even philosophical. She can't give you an answer that is even tolerable for all that she did at the end.
No matter how or what she'd reply, it won't make ANY sense and it won't make you feel better.
These are my thoughts - others may differ. My approach is probably unique. From my superficial reading, it sounds like it's time to heal for you.