Joe, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
I don't often "talk" with you here, but I always read your posts. You strike me as a very reasonable & straight person.
What's happening in your personal life is (obviously) very painful & complicated. None of us can really understand the details of your situation, nor should we. Those things are private & personal.
But bad & painful things do happen to good people ... & good people don't always get what they deserve, sadly.
Just try to look after yourself & negotiate this painful situation as best you can. You have the strength & the integrity to get through this, as hard as it is now & will continue to be for quite some time yet ...
And don't worry at all about crying in unlikely places. Many of us have done it. I know I have. I'm sure I will again ...