I wouldn't say "searching her room"...I just simply open the door and have a "look around." When I "looked" around her room in Jan. it was my first voyage in there with out her present, and was prompted because I spotted a mouse. Mouse freaked me out more than a homemade dildo.
She's also prone to eating in her room, which is a no-no, and along with the photos of her and 18 year old guy making out, were two pizza boxes with pizza still in them...yuck.
Yesterday was only my 2nd time in there. I left her items as they lay.
I will most certainly do this again, I'm sort of embarrassed to say.
And I will seriously open up the topic of sex with her...not today, but it's probably that time again soon. We talk alot, I'd say. And she knows how sex works from me, *I think.* I've talked about it a lot.
Pam, I am on the other side on this one - I feel that as her parent you have every right to look in her room. Kids don't tell you much these days, and no matter how many talks one can have with them about sex, drugs, hitchhiking, parties, etc., they are often still quite stupid - meaning, they think they "know it all" and we know nothing, that they are invincible and it won't happen to them. How else can we find out what's really going on with them? We need to look after them, do we not?
I wouldn't advertise that I've been in there, but I would continue to peruse the room.
When my daughter was 17, she got really secretive and I read her diary. I'm glad I did because I found out she was having sex with someone in her class. That prompted me to do the 'sex' talk again. I intimated that at her age she might get interested in someone so she should probably visit her doctor for B/C pills, and by the way, just in case, she should pick up some condoms. She took it really well and because we are all very private in our family, no revelations were forthcoming, but again, since I knew she was 'active', it wasn't necessary.
Follow your instincts. There's nothing wrong with being a mama.