Every kid goes through normal teen angst. If they DON'T go through it that's when there's a problem. Parents should take kids to the therapist if they don't rebel at least a little! Every kid masturbates. It's normal and healthy.
Parents need to remember that you're only a teenager once. I am 15 years old, and that is always fresh in my mind. Teenagers usually want one thing, and that is thrill. Even if we get caught having sex, we'll have it again. If we get caught masturbating, we'll still do it. If we get busted smoking weed, we'll find a way to do it again.
We just don't care, regardless of anything. But those of us that were raised well will begin to care as we grow out of this stage. I'm sure your daughter will turn out fine if you've done your job as a parent.
As for snooping, especially on her computer, wtf. Yeah, the internet can be dangerous..if you're stupid. Honestly, if you've successfully raised a complete dumbass, be my guest. Go snoop. If you have the least bit if faith in your child just let it be! We are more savvy with the internet than you think! I've been on Myspace for years and all I've done is accept requests from friends that I know in person BECAUSE I HAVE COMMON SENSE. I don't give out any personal information. Your child should know that, or you're doing a shitty job. Yeah, teenagers like to swear. Give it up. We swear. We get horny and you can't stop that. We'll flirt-some very descriptively. Get over it. It's happening. Let it go.
Let us explore. Let us be sneaky little bastards. Punish us, but understand..we're teenagers. The fun is just beginning.
Congrats on beating cancer, girl! It's not your fault she masturbates. She probably discovered it and was like-well, this is fun. Also, it's not your fault that she snuck to Target. It's those friends of hers. My friends have influenced me a lot. Gaining the behaviors of a friend is very common.
Also, instead of snooping, just talk to her! I think it is awful when my mother does that. I will willingly tell her what is going on in my life if she just asks! She never asks though..
dgkhart you are wise beyond your years. You said it well!
I would not be at all happy if MY mother was snooping around in my room like that. She's growing up, it's only going to get worse. Get used to it. Although I may have to use the play doh idea...
It is clever of her to use those items. It is not unusual behavior, and does not automatically mean that she is having sex, although she would clearly like to.
I am 26 now. When I was 14, I was throwing everything up in there that I could find - pens, scissors, markers, anything long. I realize that sounds like a bad ideas, but I was desperate! The best one was one of those markers with 4 colors that spin on a motor while you're coloring. One day I walked into my closet and it was gone from its spot. That spooked me. Sure, it could have been my little sister, but I assumed it was my mother. As far as I know, my mother still thinks I am a virgin. Once she told me, "You know, Courtney, it's okay to be gay." I was like, "Yeah, I know, Mom." Only later did I realize she was trying to reassure me if I needed to come out! Haha. I eventually did lose my virginity at 18 when I went to college, despite my best efforts in high school, and a year later bought a real vibrator for myself. While I think it is normal for her to have done something like this, I fear that you may have already damaged your relationship by touching her personal things. She may take a long time to trust you if she suspects you of messing with her personal affairs.
I as a teenager would hate to know that my parents found my "Masterbation tools" I'd be horrified. What I suggest is one buying something a little stronger? Like one of those hand held back messagers and leave it where she can find it. I would make a small comment about how every boy she's with sexually, takes something away from her. Tell her older boys are off limits but also teach her not to settle for anybody.
I had boys, and anything they ever asked I just answered briefly and truthfully since they were little tots. As they get older their questions become a little difficult, then a little serious as teenagers but I can't see why there should be any change. Just answer their questions (NO details) and they will just go about their business. In this manner, you have communicated with your kid their entire life. That will never end, and they will talk to you about most anythng the rest of their lives.
Same for girls.
Good luck to you and your daughter. Congradulations, you're cured from the Big C?
So what have we learned? This post was started 2 years ago... we've had an election, many many high profile news items have come and gone and faded from our consciousness, but we'll never get tired of talking about mastubating.
has anyone else noticed this thread has 75 thousand hits?
isnt that kind of ....................eh.........
A2K, where we can help you with Latin translations, pregnant horses, water softening and sexual devices made out of clay (and now I've suddenly got a dirty version of the dreidel song in my head ...).
i totaly agree my gf and i are 15(her) and 16(me) and we have sex all the time even when my parents are in the next room and our parents dont realy care as long as she doesnt get pregnant so that lady is just parranoid. lady your daughtor is probl having sex deal with it
lady deal with it she is trying to have fun with her body she didnt leave the dildo or vibrator out because she didnt want you to know so deal with it she is just having a bit of fun
not ususaly my gf didnt her friends didnt and any one else i know doesnt
Very sorry.. But somehow i think, it's very disgusting by you to check her stuff.
Second...IMO let her learn it the hard way.. That's how it's learned best..rather as a 14 yeared, then 20 while educating (:
k so im a 14yr old too and i do the same things i have a back massager that i use as i vibrator and a toothbrush holder i use as a dildo... so i dont find anthing wrong with it.and her with an 18 yr old should be fine she wants to expierce things you cant experience with a 14yr old boy cause they dont do the same stuff and if shes smart enough and he wasnt to have sex shell say no...plus the pic in her room kissing a boy shouldnt be a problem i mean shes 14 she can kiss boys it not like we think they have cooties anymore we think they are like verry sexyy wel some of them. but as my mom says at 14 our hormones are rageing and theres nothin we can do to stop them... oh and you dropping her off at her friends house and then seeing her at target that shouldnt be a problem i mean she want freedom and know what its like to feel like an adult and not treated like a 5 yr old. she shouldnt be grounded for something soo stupid i am not juding your parenting im just telling you what i think from another 14yr olds view off all this
Thanks for your POV Lover. There's a lot of truth in your post.
look im a teen who had sex for 6 month straight with a 21 year old boyfriend.i talked to my mom,and she knew this guy,they worked together.my mom and i are very close.i tell her about my urges and she tells me eeeevvvveeeerrrryyyytttthhhhiiinnnggg there is to know,thats appropriate to talk to your daughter about.most teens hear the risks but act on impulse.obviously your daughter isn't mature enough for sex,if she has to sneak around to do it.just buy her some condoms and get her birth control.and with your permission,the wanting to act like a crazy teen,will go down,due to not having the adrenaline rush of getting caught.good luck and get her tested.