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found homemade dildo and vibrator in 14 y.o. daughters rm.

 
 
JPB
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Sep, 2008 07:39 am
@joefromchicago,
coincides nicely with parents who have to hold back on the details of their own stories from when they were teens. It's easy to say "do as I say, not as I did", but it's highly ineffective.
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sun 28 Sep, 2008 07:49 am
@JPB,
I never did any of that stuff when I was a kid. he! he! ans my parents never knew or even suspected I was doing it I'm sure.
0 Replies
 
nimh
 
  2  
Reply Sun 28 Sep, 2008 08:07 am
Good thing you've already talked with your daughter about sex and pregnancy, because -- and I'm just relaying this -- my girlfriend's reaction was simply: "I would start by telling her the facts of life ... cause if she's got a homemade dildo, she's definitely having sex".

(That also works as follow-up to Eoe's post. Definitely talk about birth control / condoms if you havent yet...)
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 30 Sep, 2008 03:56 pm
@nimh,
nimh wrote:

Good thing you've already talked with your daughter about sex and pregnancy, because -- and I'm just relaying this -- my girlfriend's reaction was simply: "I would start by telling her the facts of life ... cause if she's got a homemade dildo, she's definitely having sex".

(That also works as follow-up to Eoe's post. Definitely talk about birth control / condoms if you havent yet...)


Which was never addressed by the way.

It just seemed to me that a virgin wouldn't go for the dildo/vaginal deal. If she is using a dildo then she's 'more than likely' not a virgin. Now, anything's possible but...I'd get on the birth control issue ASAP.
0 Replies
 
noellexnovacaine
 
  2  
Reply Fri 7 Nov, 2008 09:12 pm
@PamO,
I, myself, am fourteen. I was actually looking through sites to find out how to make a homemade dildo for myself. I also currently date a 17 year old boy.
You're daughter is fourteen, which is an average age to be masturbating. I would be worried if she didnt... The generation today has brought early sex, etc. If she didn't have those items, i would think she was having sex.

Monitoring your daughter will only cause her to stray- trust me. Looking at her myspace and online history is pretty fascist. You need to trust her.

If she actually is acting inappropriotely, you will know about definite facts. When she does these things, she'll learn her lesson. Shielding her is just going to make you the enemy.

So, I think you should leave your daughter to her own privacy. Sex and toys are her business, and if you monitor, she'll just find other ways to screw around.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Fri 7 Nov, 2008 09:50 pm
Interesting read - especially since my daughter is 13 years old. We have
been talking about sexuality, contraceptives and conception since she was
10 years old, and she knows that she can come to me and ask for birth control
whenever she needs it. Of course, I would hope it won't be for another 10 years or so....Laughing

Point is, leave all channels open and try to talk to your daughter. Communication is the key to every relationship, especially with your teenage
children.
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Sat 8 Nov, 2008 12:13 am
Maybe get her a real dildo with variable heads and 3 speed attachments. Why use a fake play dough thing?
0 Replies
 
Below viewing threshold (view)
Kryssiikins
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2009 03:10 am
Personally, I think that looking around her room for "contraband" is a little wrong, I see it as an invasion of privacy. On the topic of handling the situation I think your doing fine, it very well might not be a dildo, in fact I filled a condom up with grape jelly and threw it at my brother once! But shes 14, and it's not 1960 anymore, sex has become a very talked-about issue and shes gonna wanna be part of it. My parents were quite strict about sex, my mother never talked to me about it (it was quite taboo in my house hold and I'm only 17 so it wasn't like it was 1930!) and all it accomplished was a bunch of misunderstandings and social aquwardness. Anyway Glad to hear that you defeated breast cancer, and it's quite inspiring that you held up through all this stuff, so my best wishes! Have a wonderful live!
Kryssii
0 Replies
 
Kryssiikins
 
  1  
Reply Wed 18 Feb, 2009 03:28 am
@shewolfnm,
Ummmm...your very wrong about that, I'm quite experienced with computers and it's not uncommon to have a personal computer hacked, though its not likely that it would happen on myspace, it is possible! With the right knowledge and programs it doesn't take bill gates to get your address or any other information from hacking your personal computer. Also she is 14 not 25, and I'm sure she is aware of the danger but teens seem to have it in their heads that nothing like that would happen to them, that's why you see shows like "To catch a predator", I have known several teens that have given their phone numbers to total strangers (mainly because creeps pretend to have gone to school or in some way already know them, I guess to make it less threatening). The main point I'm trying to make is that monitoring a 14 year old girls myspace page is not wrong although she will probably learn to delete cookies and history and have a completely separate myspace from the one you know, what can you do? Just keep hanging on and hope for the best!
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2009 11:53 am
@noellexnovacaine,
noellexnovacaine wrote:
I, myself, am fourteen. I was actually looking through sites to find out how to make a homemade dildo for myself.

Step One: Take one 17-year old boy...

noellexnovacaine wrote:
I also currently date a 17 year old boy.

OK, I see we can skip that step.
0 Replies
 
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2009 12:49 pm
Also, keep in mind, the boy could be arrested for statutory rape!
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2009 12:53 pm
@Kryssiikins,
Kryssiikins wrote:

Ummmm...your very wrong about that, I'm quite experienced with computers and it's not uncommon to have a personal computer hacked, though its not likely that it would happen on myspace, it is possible! With the right knowledge and programs it doesn't take bill gates to get your address or any other information from hacking your personal computer. Also she is 14 not 25, and I'm sure she is aware of the danger but teens seem to have it in their heads that nothing like that would happen to them, that's why you see shows like "To catch a predator", I have known several teens that have given their phone numbers to total strangers (mainly because creeps pretend to have gone to school or in some way already know them, I guess to make it less threatening). The main point I'm trying to make is that monitoring a 14 year old girls myspace page is not wrong although she will probably learn to delete cookies and history and have a completely separate myspace from the one you know, what can you do? Just keep hanging on and hope for the best!



Looks like you told shewolf to stick that in her pipe and smoke it.
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2009 05:03 pm
@NickFun,
NickFun wrote:

Also, keep in mind, the boy could be arrested for statutory rape!


I was thinking about this just this morning when reading about Miley Cyrus at 16 dating some 20 year old actor. The guy was interviewed and he talks about how smart she is and how much he respects her and it strikes me that this guy could find himself in a heap of trouble. Maybe a teenage girl can legally date a 20 year old with her parents' consent?
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2009 05:29 pm
@eoe,
It's not rape -- statutory or otherwise -- without sexual penetration, and not all dating involves sex.
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2009 05:35 pm
@joefromchicago,
Um...Joe, let's get real.
0 Replies
 
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Feb, 2009 11:57 pm
@joefromchicago,
sooner or later, Joe.
joefromchicago
 
  2  
Reply Sat 21 Feb, 2009 12:16 am
@eoe,
Maybe I should rephrase that: "in my experience, not all dating involves sex."
0 Replies
 
genoves
 
  -3  
Reply Sat 21 Feb, 2009 12:57 am
@joefromchicago,
I would listen to Joe From Chicago. As a shyster who picks up small time cases of drug dealers around 26th and California( the dregs of the world are found there), Joe from Chicago knows about all kinds of perversity and some that most people have not heard about yet.
0 Replies
 
mandine
 
  3  
Reply Mon 27 Apr, 2009 07:08 pm
@PamO,
Lemme put this in perspective. I would believe finding out your daughter masturbates is weirding you out like teenagers finding out their parents have sex too. And just like I don't invade on my parents' sex lives, especially when they're just doing it with each other, please respect your daughter's privacy and don't bring this up. Personally, if I were in her place and you told me how you found the sex toys, I would be a) incredibly angry you are invading my privacy and b) be afraid to engage in any masturbation in the future. Personally, I think masturbation is normal and healthy which leads to a normal sex life in adulthood. Making the situation awkward won't help anything, in my opinion.
The topic of safe sex should stem not from the discovery of the sex toys, but from your responsibility from the start in parental guidance (and the picture of her kissing an 18 year old guy). Be stern about safe sex and try to get to know her friends and future boyfriends by talking to her or actually meeting them instead of being suddenly paranoid that she strayed away that time - really the shorter a leash you put on kids, the harder they want to rebel.
Bottom line: TALK, but not about the sex toys.
0 Replies
 
 

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