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Have you ever broke up with a guy and he cried?

 
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 05:51 pm
I notice it's the men who say women find cryng a weakness. I assume it's like much else, some do, some don't.. find it a weakness.

I've been with men crying, but not over me. Well, there's still time.
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hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 06:40 pm
ossobuco wrote:
I notice it's the men who say women find cryng a weakness. I assume it's like much else, some do, some don't.. find it a weakness.

I've been with men crying, but not over me. Well, there's still time.


I am not sure that i see that but it might be time for a poll broken down by sex. Is male crying a weakness in the male M/F? Do women who want masculine men sabotage themselves by allowing their men to cry without penalty M/F?
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 06:42 pm
hawkeye10 wrote:
Emotionally weak men screw with the entire masculine/feminine dance.


Crying doesn't mean a man is weak. Saying they are is simple silliness.
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Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 06:47 pm
dlowan wrote:
Chumly wrote:
Fact: many females think that a man crying is a sign of weakness.

You can rationalize, sympathize intellectualize and politicize till the cows come home, but won't change that underlying fact!


Then they're as dumb as the men who try to bully other men into not crying.
Kindness and intelligence are often in short supply!
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 06:47 pm
I don't care what a poll comes out with, I care what I think.
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Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 06:51 pm
ossobuco wrote:
I notice it's the men who say women find cryng a weakness. I assume it's like much else, some do, some don't.. find it a weakness.

I've been with men crying, but not over me. Well, there's still time.
I am convinced that on a global scale, many more people consider a man crying as a weakness, when compared to woman crying.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 06:53 pm
hawkeye10 wrote:
dlowan wrote:
Of course.


Why on earth would I, or any sane human, think the less of a man for crying?


According to David Deida theory (finding God through sex)et al it is because some women want/need their men to be masculine so that they can be feminine. Feminine is the life energy, masculine is the channel for that energy. Feminists get all kinds of upset with this theory because they take it as boiling down to a women MUST have a strong man. Deida points out that strong Masculine NEEDS as strong feminine as well so all is balance, plus some males are feminine and some females masculine, so it is not strictly a biology thing.

Emotionally weak men screw with the entire masculine/feminine dance.





I like strong, feisty people, whether they are male, female or something in between to dance with, be friends with, or have as a lover. I don't make lovers of men I consider weak, or friends of women I consider weak. Being vulnerable is not something I see as a weakness. Strength to me is a complex of qualities.


I am a strong woman who happens to cry easily. Shrugs. I don't like it, sometimes, but it doesn't make me weak. Why the hell would I fall for some stupid notion that crying makes a man weak?


Whether a man cries easily or doesn't has very little to do with my assessment of his strength or attractiveness...except that, given our frequently noxious prescriptions for what men and women should be, I have a lot of respect for a man who is strong enough to express sadness, or joy, or being deeply moved, through tears. He's had the guts to stand up to a lot of traditional bullshit.
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Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 06:56 pm
Real Men Cry.

(Women deal with it or don't)
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Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:01 pm
I have not know any "strong, feisty" men that are prone to crying, I have however known a number of "strong, feisty" women that are prone to crying.

It's a given that in general women cry much more than men, whatever the reasons / rationale.
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:02 pm
I am crying as I read this thread.
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hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:03 pm
dlowan wrote:


Whether a man cries easily or doesn't has very little to do with my assessment of his strength or attractiveness...except that, given our frequently noxious prescriptions for what men and women should be, I have a lot of respect for a man who is strong enough to express sadness, or joy, or being deeply moved, through tears. He's had the guts to stand up to a lot of traditional bullshit.


but are you in the mainstream? There is to my eye a lot of evidence that while women have long claimed that they want a new aged sensitive male who can cry for them, in practice this is rarely the case. women believe this is what they want until they are actually confronted with it, and then they are repulsed. think this is also shown by how little success the sensitive male has in getting the best women. For over decade i believed the line that women want the new age man, I see no evidence of this in the majority of men and women that I know. I now am firmly convinced that it is a myth, that men who don't ignore it are screwed.
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dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:07 pm
Theory:
If you dump me and I cry you just might feel sorry enough for me to have sex.

This actually worked in practice. I kid you not!

No groveling, quiet tears rolling down my cheeks. This led to a comforting hug and so on.

I win!
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:07 pm
Well, get to know some more people like dlowan and I.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:19 pm
Personally, strong woman that I grew to be, I've had some time periods when tears were "more near my eyeballs". Some I don't want to discuss here. Past those, one was when my husband/mate of total 22 years left, well, twice, when we first discussed it, and then when the working out didn't work. Tears were 'ready' for weeks back then. One was before all that, with a contretemps with a sometime friend and colleague at work. I'd hold it and go to the restroom, cry fast, and come back. Or better, go for a lunch walk. One was more recently, when I knew my dog was not going to live much longer, and then putting him down.

I can also cry over beauty. Not often, but sometimes. My friend Diane and I cried over the movie Tosca...


My husband cried when our cat Spackle died. We both teared off and on for about three days. Trust me, I didn't think less of him.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:25 pm
Hawkeye, I suspect those men in whatever studies were squiffy for other reasons that the odd tear. Perhaps they were jargon fanciers and it was the language, not the tears. Was that controlled for?
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Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:25 pm
gustavratzenhofer wrote:
I am crying as I read this thread.

I don't know you.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:29 pm
I meant to add, that if I have experienced episodes of "tears near the surface" I presume others can at emotionally fraught times in life, or even an emotional moment.. including men.
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hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:33 pm
If a man never cried I would wonder how well connected he is to his emotions. However if he was crying to his woman about his relationship I would lose all respect for him.
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:35 pm
I don't think a man is weak if he cries, and I don't know any women who think so either.

I've never had a conversation with a woman who had disdain in her voice over a man crying.

I think that just must be what some men think women think.


Jesus, I thought we were past all that crap.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 07:39 pm
(Say it like it is, Chai...)
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