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Have you ever broke up with a guy and he cried?

 
 
OGIONIK
 
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 11:37 am
does this happen IRL? l my friends tell me stories of their ex's, and when they tell me he started crying, i wasnt listening before but im like "for real? haha for real?"

then when i say "no wonder you broke up with him" they smile.

This doesnt happen often, does it ladies?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 18,286 • Replies: 109
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hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 12:17 pm
Why should this be a surprise? Men tend to be relationship challenged and often never see it coming. It is a bit much to realize in the same instant that A) you have failed, and B) that you don't understand the game. Besides, male crying has been in vogue for awhile now..

I am not a chick, but threw my 2 cents in anyways.
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CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 12:26 pm
Yes!
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OGIONIK
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 12:36 pm
Thats really UN-attractive right? i mean obviously, but can it feel good? like in a dominating way?

i mean if i cried for a girl and she got back with me, later on i would leave her for my sake, just because its just so lame.
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CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 12:39 pm
Sometimes, emotions are stronger than rational thinking.
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OGIONIK
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 12:43 pm
maybe thats my problem. i just dont care about emotions. im too materialistic or something.

good for intense/high-pressure situations, not good for long term relationships. haha.

im just gonna start being really emotional and see how it affects my relationships. maybe it will work, maybe not.
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hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 12:44 pm
Years ago I was seeing a counselor, and during that time my wife decided that she wanted a divorce.....My counselor suggested that I cry, because she would not expect it from me and it would shake her up. Seriously considered doing it too, but decided to go a different way, which worked.
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vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 02:24 pm
Perhaps men crying over a breakup go against the genes that affect what women like (the alpha male thingy).
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mushypancakes
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 02:32 pm
It hasn't happened to me.

Groveling and throwing himself at my feet, literally, has.

I'd rather he'd have cried. Crying is understandable and wouldn't make me think less of a man.

Assuming it is someone we have some respect and care about to begin with.
Laughing
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ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 02:55 pm
Yup, a couple have cried.

S'okay. It's just one kind of human reaction <shrug>.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 03:23 pm
Of course.


Why on earth would I, or any sane human, think the less of a man for crying?
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hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 03:36 pm
dlowan wrote:
Of course.


Why on earth would I, or any sane human, think the less of a man for crying?


According to David Deida theory (finding God through sex)et al it is because some women want/need their men to be masculine so that they can be feminine. Feminine is the life energy, masculine is the channel for that energy. Feminists get all kinds of upset with this theory because they take it as boiling down to a women MUST have a strong man. Deida points out that strong Masculine NEEDS as strong feminine as well so all is balance, plus some males are feminine and some females masculine, so it is not strictly a biology thing.

Emotionally weak men screw with the entire masculine/feminine dance.
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vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 03:38 pm
Hmmm...whenever I've heard a woman talk about a man who cried during a breakup, there has always been an element of disdain in their voices/demeanor (mind you, considering the guy only cries when the woman initiates the breakup, and the woman have obviously decided the relationship is not for her...the disdain is probably understandable)

That said, there are always exceptions to generalities, and I would guess I just haven't come accross the exceptions yet.
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squinney
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 03:53 pm
Yes. And, I certainly didn't think it made him appear weak, or les masculine or that I had any kind of power over him. It was sad cause I really didn't want to hurt him. We were young. He was confused. I had no idea what I wanted.

I would much rather a guy cry if that is what he feels like doing.
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Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 04:00 pm
Fact: many females think that a man crying is a sign of weakness.

You can rationalize, sympathize intellectualize and politicize till the cows come home, but won't change that underlying fact!
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mushypancakes
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 04:04 pm
Crying, to me, doesn't seem weak in that circumstance.

The groveling looks weak, though, to me.

And it doesn't matter if it is a man or woman doing the groveling, or rushing to try and convince someone to stay.
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hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 04:05 pm
And a man who wanted to be the masculine pole in relationship would take a woman being OK with his crying as proof that she was or wanted to be masculine...IE is not for him. That man would need to deal with the fact that he was weak, but also that he picked the wrong woman.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 04:58 pm
Chumly wrote:
Fact: many females think that a man crying is a sign of weakness.

You can rationalize, sympathize intellectualize and politicize till the cows come home, but won't change that underlying fact!


Then they're as dumb as the men who try to bully other men into not crying.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 05:35 pm
Can't recall anyone crying but I do recall being sent a mixed tape of sappy love songs afterwards by one fellow.
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urs53
 
  1  
Reply Sun 3 Feb, 2008 05:42 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me after a 15 year relationship. Lots of crying on my side. Later on, I met him over a cup of coffee and he told me that the young woman he left me for broke up with him. She was 15 years younger than him and said he was too immature. We were sitting in this coffee shop and he was crying. That I found odd. Had nothing to do with a man crying but crying there in front of me because she left him Confused
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