On the edge and toppling off....

Reading & commiserating with you, Iz.
Hang in there, possum.

Taking the other hand.

((( Iz )))

I see why you do the repetitiveness.

I'm not sure it serves you - and also not sure it doesn't, re R. I'd talk with your attorney about that.

If I could simply wave a magic wand and make things right for you dear Izzie I would. I am sorry I can not.

Still here are some loving wishes that things will work out in the end and R will learn to understand your hard fought struggles are there to help and support him, not hinder him.

Shite.

((Izzie))

Shite Happens... so said Forrest...


Delete.......

blech



Totally re-wrote umpteen times – filled in what I could, sending back both forms, asking for pertinent info to be completed WITH R present, AND explaining the forms to him and what he is signing for and that this means.

Requested all proof documentation, tenancy agreements, blah (so much evidence required), evidence and medical certificates which need and can only be obtained by SS, then copied/originals sent back to me, along with the forms contaning SS signature for their information provided, and for my final signature.

I will not relinquish being appointee for my son as this, in my opinion, is not in my son’s best interest. If he writes to me and says he wishes and is able to take charge of his legal and financial affairs and for me to relinquish being appointee, I will comply – but not because some social worker can’t be arsed to do her job.

Will await the low flying crahp on a pancake about to be tossed my way <pass the lemon juice... I can be sour too>

Whatever.

There is a lot that may come down on me now with my negotiating, bending and attemping not to be breaking, if ya get my drift. I don't really care about that. I'll do what needs to be done to protect R until he has the ability to communicate his understanding and talk with people, but... I gotta do what I believe is right for him now, so, will take my chances. I cited his Pathway Plan and their responsibilities to him... well, we'll see, I guess.

I suppose I don’t have it in me to give up unless R tells me to. If he does tell me to, I guess I still won’t, I just won’t be able to to assist him from a distance and can only pick up any floundering flotsum pieces if it should become necessary or if he will let me. It will be his choice, not mine.
...................................................................................................................................................
I have made a calendar of each thing I need to do on each day for the next 2 weeks – there are a lot of medical appointments coming up – this week is a tough one, long, long days, next week will be worse for Sboy, many tests – one at a time, tick the box, next. Sboy is poorly tonight – has had a multitude of nosebleeds and will need to be re-causterised - he's sickening for a cold and is quite husky, shivery and feverish, sneeze after sneeze after sneeze... bless him. Then the bleeds - nasty - nuisance value for him.



Looking forward to meeting a “Sheila” lady whose “Up Above” at present and coming to stay at Izzieville (poor gal, good job she’s not be on A2K recently reading my whine - if she had she'd prolly detour to John O Groats ) - we’ll then travel up to London town together and find her hotel etc – such a shame for her, she’s had nowt but rain since she arrived in the UK and various troubling mishaps – but it will be great to meet her and talk “stuff” – can’t wait to hear all about her and her life in Oz and hope to make the last few days of her stay enjoyable in the UK. I have warned her I am a heap at the moment and she's to take me as I am (i.e.nudge me if I fall asleep mid sentence or throw a kitty at me ) – but I’m hoping the weather will not dampen her spirits and at least she will get to see the kitties... and the dawgs!!!!. She just missed the 3 most gorgeous days of the year, blue skies, hard frost and brilliant sunshiny autumnal days and clear starry nights – being watched over.

Then a super massive dream for me – seeing 25th Ann of Les Miz at the 02 on Sunday with Bazz, Charlie (hopefully) and hopefully a Sheila if she likes the music. I am willing the end of the week to arrive – tho I’m not too sure how I’ll get thru the next 3 days...nope, not a clue... yawn.... one.hour.one.day.at.a.time

Long drives ahead to - will be nice to have company... and it should be "interesting for the Sheila" to have me drive her through London. (heh heh!)




Thanku all, for your support. Truly.

I’m really just tired, achey and fatigued - gone bed now. I am lacking strength...and coordination – bumped the stairs, the kitchen units and walked into a door – DUH! Might knock a bitta sense into me a?

Bed! Work tomorrow... v. early start.

K - Lifted...buden halved, thanku,

always.
x

<night night>

Right here for hand-holding and tea-drinking, Iz-. You're right one day, hour, minute at a time. Just breathe. Thinking of you and S-boy and R-boy. Give S a squeeze for me and a gentle one for you as well. Thinking about and praying for you all.
Thinking pink for Charlie too.

frikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkken lemons

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

no
no

no

no

no
no

no

no

no


dammit



B8stards!

I don't know what the right thing to do is... I don't know

Yikes, what's happened?

It's all so bad that I know nothing new necessarily needs to have happened to garner that response.

But is it something new?

And if so, are you comfortable sharing it?

Listening.....

Ditto ...

ah jeez
that's a bit nervous making

sitting by to listen

I want to share it - I'm just checking so see how much trouble I can get in if I do... but I've a got a plan - sorta kinda


can't believe it


CANNOT BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!! gobsmacked..... b*stards - could I feel any worse... "why yes MrsC"... yes you can... "here" ..."have some more and let us boil you in oil too"



Response back from SS – she took issue. This is not whole mail – way too much to batter me with!

Re: being appointee




Thanku for that – then lengthy helpings of indignity, annoyance, incorrect statements, recognition of his complex needs, empathy at the situation...

Along with:






Then, recognition of his needs and stating their obligations, her time constraints and not happy about relaying information back and forth to me for Ryan (remit is to see him once every 2 months tho she visits fortnightly)




Culminating in:



Regards





Thank you for sharing that with me. I felt shite... now I am shiter an doing my son no favours, shouldn’t be his appointee and I will be responsible for holding everything up.

R phoned his social worker today stating he wished me to remain his appointee. I have a letter dtd in May saying the same. The Social Worker obviously does not believe this to be a workable situation if R will have no contact with me.

When I questioned the following, the response was:



This was directly relating to his sitting with them and assisting filling in forms, getting the paperwork he holds and writing down, who is doctor is, where the Post Office is, what his bank account no is – the very basics so he can see what these forms look like (things he can find out online with their help, what courses he has done – this is very basic information he should be able to complete with their help if they were willing to encourage him – showing him on his bills where the account number is and writing it on the form, copying a bill, making a copy of his passport – they cannot babysit him still with independent living – they need to help him, yes he can’t understand a lot of complexities, but he needs to be taught from the ground level, what happens when he tries to do any paperwork (remember, no schooling since he was 12) – he knows his doctors name – I DON’T. He has to cooperate – and if it’s not me, and he isn’t encouraged to do it by them, then it’s my problem, and as she so aptly put at the start, my appointeeship is to take care of his affairs.




Yet she is saying she does not think this is in his best interests.

What am I supposed to do here. Relinquish and .......... what happens then? She still won’t be helping him - forms are not her dept. – M doesn’t understand the forms either – tho he did work for Klein so can get ther records (which I am NOT allowed) – I filled in the forms in every place I can, sent them back with notes on, all underlined and highlighted of things I don’t know about the tenancy, CT, etc.

I simply DO NOT believe that a Social Worker or Support Worker cannot attend the JobCentre Plus meeting to assist with form filling if R will not see/speak to me and have them help fill in bits we don’t understand – I don’t get that.. R will not go with me, but they could be filled in and sent to me to check and confirm if I see something amiss, then they could be signed and sent. Some appointees would live nowhere near the vulnerable adult... they surely don’t have to turn up at the JobCentre!!!!!!!!!! I do not hold his power of attorney – I am his DLA appointee for legal/admin purposes.

So frikken pissed off.

Nothing I do will be right.

If I do as R wishes because he cannot deal with these things and has made that very clear, and if I do what I believe is right, it has to go thru SS who COULD be trying to get him to fill in his name and basic details – and then those are the people who say I should not be appointee – I wonder if they will persuade him to send me a relinquishment letter - I simply don't know if what I'm doing is right - does anyone?? They cannot fill in all the financial info as I am the sole person who has it, it's all documented, it will all be signed sealed and delivered when the forms come bcak. Whenever the Social Worker has aksed for info - she is given it immediately. She does not think she should have to ask me on behalf of R because he won’t talk to me. She doesn't have the time.

So pissed at these people. It’s NOT RIGHT.


Actually, R and I do not have a legal (as in he has never filled in legal forms as he was Under 18) agreement as such, he has filled in no forms, just written a letter and signed it in May. I don’t make his every day decisions, I have little or no knowledge of his every day whereabouts or what he is doing, I just make sure the system doesn’t shaft him and fight when he has no voice ....pay him his money weekly... and try to fill in forms as best I can (she will eat her damn words tomorrow when she see’s what has been filled in – moo!)



But they imply, no, that’s too nice, they tell me I am the spanner in the works that holds everything up - because she has never filled in the forms and I just question this bit about saying the appointee has to complete them at the JobCentre with Ryan - if I lived abroad or a 500 miles away, one wouldn't be doing that. I've filled in loads of it and highlighted everything they need to answer ...

Dammit




Repeat:





Her words... dammit

what do they want me to do now................ what do I do? I just dont know.



This may not be comprehensible... so tired, S is sick... I am sneezing... I feel like they've tossed me in the air a few times and let me drop on the floor, keep scraping me up, then tossing me up again.

I loathe this system.

I don't want this - I am too tired and sore.

I am shite!

dammit

I'm so sorry, Iz.
Has there been any legal scrutiny of this response?
The implications are very worrying.

My lawyer is a divorce lawyer - copies of everything have gone to him but he can't help really - he was just doing me a favour by coming to the meeting months ago.

I will need to go to the Citizens Advice Bureau and get some advice... when... I just dunno.

Too tired, gotta sleep, early start for work and have to figure out who can sit with Sboy for a bit tomorrow - parents have got stuff on (PaPa BP is over 200 and has to see doc tomorrow) and neighbour has moved to farm... oooooooooooooof

gone bed... knackered.

Thanku tho. x


(R passed his theory driving test today... so proud of him...)

night.

(((Sleep, Iz))))

Echoing osso.
Please try & get some sleep, Iz.
Rest is the best thing you can do for yourself right now.

ahh nuts

I hope you're able to get some good sleep. Gotta take care of yourself. You need the physical resources to get you through the crazy days.


(((((((((((((((MzIzzz)))))))))))))

re: the driving test -- good for R!

re: the rest of the situation -- sorry it's so bloody difficult and frustrating. Echoing the "do try and get some sleep" brigade.

Izzie, Thinking about you. Exhausted just reading about everything that's going on. I don't know how you do it.

Sending a cross Atlantic hug. (((((((Izzie)))))))))

Hang in there Izzie, don't let them bureaucrats get on top of you, fight them with every nerve you've got. You're in my thoughts, a pity I can't do anymore to ease the pain. (((Izzie)))