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On the edge and toppling off....

 
 
devriesj
 
  1  
Wed 6 Aug, 2008 10:13 pm
Thank you my friend, Izzie, the English rose in Texas! Thank you for your hugs, kind words of encouragement and support. I could never say enough thank yous to tell you how glad I am just to have met you. Between you, Brooke, and a few others, I never would have had the courage to put this out there. Just thank you so much for your warm friendship and love.
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Wed 6 Aug, 2008 10:48 pm
The courage came from within you Dev - you have an inner strength - you're finding your feet - be proud of you.

We are. x
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Wed 6 Aug, 2008 10:50 pm
Dev. I'll just babble here. You are not what happened to you. You are not jokes about that by crudos. You are a breathing survivor with good eyes.
You have presence, you have stance. But... from me, you don't have to feed that part either. Not my business, but overcompensation is not
good either.

Stop with the batters. Get to know yourself under all.
Not easy.

We're all here.
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devriesj
 
  1  
Wed 6 Aug, 2008 11:03 pm
Thank you for that, osso. I do know it. I just need to make it work it's way into me so that I believe it. Your words of wisdom are priceless and I will do well to remember them.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Wed 6 Aug, 2008 11:16 pm
I'm not wise, I'm just another person. often a mess. I want you to be listening to yourself over many years, gain your feet.
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OCCOM BILL
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 12:51 am
(((((((( Dev ))))))))
You are a strong woman. I've no good words for you, but you've got the angels here for that.
I do know a song you may enjoy:
Code of Silence. (I couldn't find it on youtube, so I'm posting the lyrics below instead.)

Ps. I read somewhere that if you said your own name 20 times; by the 20th time even your own name would start to lose meaning.

Billy Joel wrote:
Everybody's got a million questions
Everybody wants to know the score
What you went through
It's something you
Should be over now

Everybody wants to hear the secrets
That you never told a soul before
And it's not that strange
Because it wouldn't change
what happened anyhow

But you swore to yourself a long time ago
There were some things that people never needed to know
Guess there's one that you keep
That you bury so deep
No one can tear it out

And you can't talk about it
Because you're following a code of silence
You're never gonna to lose the anger
You just deal with it a different way

And you can't talk about it
And isn't that a kind of madness
To be living by a code of silence
When you've really got a lot to say

You don't want to lose a friendship
There's nothing that you have to hide
And a little dirt
Couldn't hurt no one anyway

And you still have a rage inside you
That you carry with a certain pride
In the only part of the broken heart
That you could ever save

But you've been through it once
You know how it ends
You don't see the point
Of going through it again
And this ain't the place
And this ain't the time
And neither's any other day

So you can't talk about it
Because you're following a code of silence
You're never gonna to lose the anger
You just deal with it a different way

So you can't talk about it
And isn't that a kind of madness
To be living by a code of silence
When you've really got a lot to say

I know you well enough to tell you've got your reasons
That's not the kind of code you're inclined to break
Some things unknown are best left alone forever
And if a vow is what it takes
Haven't you paid for your mistakes

After the moment passes
And the impulse disappears
You can still hold back
Because you don't crack very easily

It's a time honored resolution
Because the danger is always near
It's with you now
But that ain't how it was supposed to be

And it's hard to believe after all these years
That it still gives you pain and it still brings tears
And you feel like a fool
Because in spite of your rules
You've got a memory

But you can't talk about it
Because you're following a code of silence
You're never gonna to lose the anger
You just deal with it a different way

But you can't talk about it
And isn't that a kind of madness
To be living by a code of silence
When you've really got a lot to say
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 12:53 am
((Bill))
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OCCOM BILL
 
  2  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 05:36 am
(((((( Izzie ))))))
0 Replies
 
whiteviolet
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 06:18 am
Dev, sending love - and admiration for your honesty. Always here, as I hope you know. Good luck, T xxx
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mismi
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 07:00 am
(((DEV))) - you are amazing. I admire you and think you are well on your way to being free of your past! I absolutely know what you mean by what you said and think it is wonderful that you are able to get it all out. Bless you hun!

missy
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 09:58 am
Now where's our Queen Dev today??? Yooooooooooo hoooooooooooooooooo - how ya doin' hun??? [Iz picks up tiara from the table, polishes, places on Queenies head]





WytVi - tea's brewing.... wanna sit for a while - have a chat?
0 Replies
 
devriesj
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 11:25 am
You rang? I'm here and just, how do I say it - "gobsmacked"! Thank you all for your responses, advice, love & hugs! Don't know if I'll ever stop crying when I read. I'm just so touched!
Osso, I will try to remember to do as your last post suggested. Sage advice if you ask me.
And OCCOM Bill (((HUG BACK!))) And thank you for the song. My secret's out, now let's hope others can break their code of silence!
Mis-, wv, thank you for your words of encouragement. I treasure you both and your support means a lot to me.

I'm sort of just "coasting" today, trying to get back to normal. Plus I have school work to get done for tonight - yikes!
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 12:20 pm
Keep coasting girlie... we can coast on along together and stop whenever you like.

Crack on with the school work - positive focus... you're doing great! Smile
0 Replies
 
jodie34
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 05:44 pm
Dev

You are a very strong person. I really admire you for being able to tell your story. If we keep things inside it eats away at us. May God bless you as you heal from your past. I have had so many hurts recently I am now seeing a therapist. I have had two members of my family pass away recently and some very close friends. The people on this thread are wonderful. I will be here for you as much as I can and so will the others.
By the way I had foot surgery at 7:30am. today. It was Bunion surgery. I have slept most of the day. I am on pain medication and have to keep my foot elevated and use ice. Not feeling too bad at the present time.

Izzie
Are you enjoying your vacation ? Would love to have the opportunity to meet you. You are a wonderful friend.
0 Replies
 
Izzie
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 05:54 pm
Hey Jodie - oh............ get those feet up - pain killers and lots of TLC (though stay away from the foot). Did the surgeon say it all went well? Oh - hugs to you - please take good care and keep the foot UP UP UP UP UP.

I'm enjoying myself here a great deal - and looking forward to starting travelling next week. I am unable to walk for more than half an hour before my toes swell very badly - but that's OK - I have been swimming a lot. Great hydrotherapy and doing my joints good. Thanku hun, for asking.

When I visit Chicago - to see Brooklyn, Dev and oh..... that JPB girl :wink: , as well as a few of the deckhands hopefully, I will surely let you know and we will get together. Would love to. Very Happy

Now - get some rest hun - and don't be doing any little steps for a bit. Thinking of you and sending you lots of healing thoughts. Lotsa love. xxxx
0 Replies
 
Dutchy
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 05:58 pm
So pleased to read things are looking up for you ladies, you're a wonderful bunch of friends to have, so very supportive to one another. Wishing you all happy days from downunder.
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jodie34
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 06:35 pm
Izzie

The surgeon said the surgery went well. Will do what you say and the surgeon too .Sorry to hear you are having problems with your toes swelling. Is this problem suppose to go away eventually. I hope so.
Love to you my dear friend. Take care!
0 Replies
 
JustBrooke
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 07:20 pm
Dutchy, you are certainly counted as one of those supportive friends to everyone. I hope you know that.

Dev ..... coast away girlfriend. Or better yet, Drift Away. Get that homework done and kick your feet up.

Izz .... Lovin' you!

Jodie.... Glad your surgery went well and I hope the days ahead, as you heal, go equally as well. God bless.

Love N Hugs to All

Do what makes you happy
Be with who makes you smile
Laugh as much as you breathe
Love as long as you live.
0 Replies
 
devriesj
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 08:19 pm
Hey, y'all. Just back from class & windin' down. No money for wine though.
Sad
Jodie, it's nice to meet you and I thank you for your support. I'm glad that you're seeing a therapist. Do whatcha gotta do, girl. And take care of those tootsies!
Iz-, hope you've had a fabulous day in the USA, babe.
And, Brooke-y girl! Thanks for the tune. It's just what I needed! Smile
Dutch-, you're always the best!
Gonna hang around on the threads for a while until I can get myself to go to sleep. Feelin' a bit 'post traumatic', just rollin' with the punches.
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JPB
 
  1  
Thu 7 Aug, 2008 08:26 pm
I've got a hug for you ((( dev ))) just in case you need one.
0 Replies
 
 

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