On the edge and toppling off....

Oh - well, who knows what's going on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ex-hub is with R in the city, formal interview taking place..... and.....

dunno

not a clue

not even a smidgen of a clue

not even a eensy weensy bit of a clue

so

i sit and wait

mmmmmmmmmmmmm might have gone a little mad methinks

going to contemplate by the river for 10 minutes or so - feel awfully hot and bothered


have been talking to ex-hubs girlfriend for an hour ... that was good ... known her a very long time but not talked about R or ex-hub before ...


R agreed to have ex-hub as the "responsible adult" with him during the interview - which will probably be soul destroying for ex-hub, watching R go through this...

just got to sit and wait now...

maybe R will go back to the House

I dunno - oh crap....

My thoughts are with you...

(((IZZIE)))

Sheesh - if it's not one thing... it's another...same ole same ole

I have such a head hurt

Right, R is now on his way back to the House who are not pressing charges.

R has been formally interviewed with his Dad present - he has been printed, photo'd...etc... he is on his "final" warning - apparently last time was his "final" reprimand.

R explained calmly why he had done what he had done with throwing the bed down the stairs and the reason's for doing it - he said he didn't understand why they kept changing everything and why he couldn't use the phone to call me.

The police were very sympathetic but explained they were not able to deal with why these changes were occuring, only that R cannot do what he did. However, as the House are not pressing charges he will not have a record.

HOWEVER, he is now on the database - has to appear in Court at the end of July to receive a formal "final" warning from the courts and his "police record" as opposed to "public record" will remain on the database for 5 years. I didn't think they did that with minors. Can't think of that right now - head is too sore.

Ex-hub is exhausted - said R was just real calm - but still does not understand what is going on with the changes in the house.

And this today....and then this week Social Services are turning up to tell him he can walk out of care in 2 months time. The f*ing system stinks. Instead of trying to help him and encourage him - they pull staff away, change rules, inconsistent, imcompetent and negligent. And what other choice do we have. Bring him home.... this so called unique setting he's in to help his psychological needs - yeah right! What are they trying to do!

He's been like this for years - over and over again - same ole same ole - just he's a helluva lot bigger now and I can't restrain him. I can't let my younger son see this or be exposed to this level of extreme.

The police are taking him back to the House - guess I now wait and see what happens when Social Services ppfppfppfptptppttptp b8stids turn up this week. It's a joke - but not a funny one at all.

I'm tired, got a headhurt and am spinning.

Hey ho. Tomorrows another day.

Waiting to hear from the house to see if he has arrived back. mmmmmm he has no bed to sleep in!

So so much hon...still here...
hugs and thoughts

Gosh - would be so nice to wake up one morning - no aches and pains, no tired feeling, knowing there would be no phonecalls, not having to think about anything.... just a wee bit of normality

i guess nothing is normal, just i feel a little more abnormal than the rest

oooof - never did like rollercoasters - much prefer plain sailing

yep, rollercoasters are only fun when you choose to take that seat.

He's safe for now. You are a bundle of emotions -- justifiably so.

Do you expect to hear anything more tonight?

talking of rollercoasters.... coz I kinda got my rambling head on now...

it's terribly tiring on a rollercoaster - just as you seem to go along the nice straight bit - you end up going down at a rate of knots or climbing slowly up to the top anticipating the ugh sensation as you fall back down again, screaming as you go wand waving your hands in the air, and then when you get to the straight bit again you STOP.... then you have to pay the price, and do it all over again.

Who the heck does that by choice!

I'm not choosing this any more... it's gotta quit - can someone pull the plug please


yep, just gotta wait for one more phone call to see if he's made it back to the House.

The girl staff (D) who looks after him was crying with me earlier - she didn't want these rules put in place and argued against them, but she's just a miniscule little pleb like I am - they choose their own rules these days.

Home from work and sitting here with the rest, listening.

((((((( Dear, sweet Izzie )))))))))

Thanku all so much.... there's me getting so wrapped up in my gumph I nearly missed QueenDev's birthday - now that's just not on!!!!

Have taken my potion and feeling a little sleepy now - so sorry to keep doing this... will be glad not to have to ever come back to this thread.... but strangely enough... it's my "sanity liner"

y'all mean the world to me- just writing and knowing I'm talking to you makes all the difference between now and...6months ago

oh..............................................................................so tired

need a cuppa something...mmm...gin....nah (ugh) gonna have a tea - then bed methinks

thank you all - i love y'all x

Good Night Iz...

Sitting here as long as you're awake.

Hope you are able to get some sleep, Izzie.

I hope you're able to get some useful sleep tonight.

Morning all - I had just over 4.5hrs sleep - it's not enough. I am wasted at 8am.

I'm mulling over in my head, how and what to do now. I just don't know.

I need to go and sleep some more - but I know I also have to armour up and fight these idiots again - but it's a lost cause - it's their rules, R's rules - and both of them turn it firmly back on us as a family.

They do what they did yesterday - and for what... this is supposed to be encouraging him and supporting him? - yeah right. What a load of cr*p. Makes me sick to my stomach. Makes me feel sick what will happen to him in 2 months time - assuming he will still be there at the House at that stage! Just makes me sick - the whole lousy stinking iditotic useless sytem.

One Step at a time. Deal with today sweety...I know it's hard. I hear ya' and I understand what you're saying. I am praying you hear GOOD news today...whatever that may be. (smile-from me to you)

It just get's better.

Email received this morning from Social Services.

I will be speaking later to the temp Deputy Manager concerning the events of last night at The House.



At present I am intending to visit The House tomorrow, when the temp Deputy Manager is there. We are supposed to talk to R about his choices and wishes for the next review period (and of course after 16) and I have no choice but to do this. There is always a chance that he will be open with us, but previous experience would suggest that R will use it as an opportunity to either refuse to say anything at all, or directly express anger without anything constructive.

I think we are on the same wavelength that we suspect actually R will refuse to stay in Care after his birthday, and my guess is that he will ask to go to his grandparents- possibly leaving it to the very last minute..

At the meeting on June 19th with you, his grandmother stated that R definitely could not come to live with her. She spoke of various housing schemes locally, but I have not been able to locate anything that sounds suitable. Can you tell me, as a matter of urgency, what resources you wish me to apply for, as I need to report to our Children's Panel to try to set up a contingency plan.

I (exhub) - can you tell me if Ryan has been actually charged with an offence?


SO - SOCIAL SERVICES DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST NITE.

NOW IT IS UP TO EX-HUB AND I TO WORK OUT WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.

Naturally, we have both responded with vehemence at the fact they are doing what they have done and not done, that at 16 he can walk onto the streets .... and that's it - and it's down to I and me to figure out a plan. He has been in specialised care since he was 13 with this that and the other psychiatrists and "support". At 16 they tell him he can legally walk away - and I and me have got to give them the plan. we've been asking for resources for years - and look where we are? Sheesh - he was arrested last nite for pity's sake. They didn't listen then - they haven't listened for years - what help is he getting. All they have done is maintain him. They took away the scaffolding. They ripped it down...they still are - and now... god only knows what will happen.

B8stards - what the hell are we supposed to do now. Watch him live on the streets. Mental Health - the invisible disease - we're on our own again trying to keep our son in some kind of life with no-one to turn to - no-one to help.

I don't have answers - I don't know what he needs psychologically - he's not been living with us for years .... I am not a psychiatrist, I am his Mom and if he comes home... what will happen to me, S or him. He won't come home tho - he despises me for placing him in care. Can't win.

Even Social Services want us to come up the answer - HOW, HOW DO WE DO THAT?

He'll need food, clothes, a roof over his head, money, education....... he hasn't been educated since he was 11.

I haven't a clue what to do. AGAIN.

Izzie, dear, take a cuppa and a few minutes by the brooke before trying to solve it all at once.

Deep breaths and listen to the breeze.

Hugs.

Hey Izzie..just checking on you sweety...do what Rock says... :wink:

Morning Izzie, just caught up with what's been happening, sending you my vibes, my love and thinking about you, we all are!

Hey Izzie,

I'm sure you've had a long brutal day today. Just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and that I'm here for whatever type of dumping you need to do.

HUGS!!!!!