Procedure for sex?

Wow, I can't believe someone else has been with a female this f'n nuts. My ex used to pull the same crap sometimes.

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Robert wrote:

Quote:

Why not shower together? It might make the washing ritual less of an interruption and more of a part of the whole act.

This is a great idea........

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....or have a box of latex gloves next to the bed Laughing

Seriously, if it were my SO who'd ask me to wash my hands prior to touching him, I'd make it a sport to get him so aroused (hands off) that he'll forget that there ever was a germ on earth.

Get your creativity running!

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Now Jane, he just said that he feels that he can't get her hot enough for her to forget the handwashing thing!!

She is either passive-aggressive and/or being the critical mother in making him wash his hands before he can touch "it."

I can't believe that THIS is the only thing she's a little "funny" about.

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Who cares, Sully, this seems to be the only thing that's bothering him,
so whatever else there might be, it's not an issue here.

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All girls do these types of things one way or the other. Thats her. You can't change it. It's her time too.

If you don't wash your hands all she will be thinking about is your dirty hands. She can't help it.

Besides, we havn't seen your hands!! Maybe she has seen them dirty alot.

Whatever the girls say I do it:

Dress like a viking, out on a diaper, put my tool belt on, Run around the house outside three time nakid.

Weman are crazy...CRAZY!!

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you are talking about tool belts and diapers and you call US crazy? Shocked

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I meant to say "wear a diaper".

I remember one time this chick had me get up five or six times.

"Is the front door locked?"

"Turn the light off."

"close the door."

"turn the light back on"

"I'm cold. Shut the window"

"Put a scarf over the lamp"

It was like running an obsicle course.

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gheez Amigo, where do you find your dates? At the obsessive-compulsive disorder anonymous meetings?

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Amigo wrote:

I meant to say "wear a diaper".

I remember one time this chick had me get up five or six times.

"Is the front door locked?"

"Turn the light off."

"close the door."

"turn the light back on"

"I'm cold. Shut the window"

"Put a scarf over the lamp"

It was like running an obsicle course.

Know what'cha mean, Amigo.

"I've got a headache"

"My back hurts"

"There's too many people watching"

"It's too hot"

"It's too cold."

Never ends, does it?

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I think they must be intimidated by the sheer volume of our raw masculinity.

I'm kind of like Che Guevara meets...........Zues in bed.

http://www.wizards.com/dnd/images/dd_gallery/dd2/Zeus_p102.jpg

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I've found that wearing a hazmat suit during coitus not only protects a fellow from so many filthy, filthy, dirty, filthy germs, but adds to the excitement as well. Women love a man in uniform.

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roger wrote:

"There's too many people watching"

Roger, can you explain this part in more depth? Very Happy

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Wash your hab=nds in the toilet bowl just to spite her.

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Well we all have our kinks, LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

My ideal 1st date:

1. Apply cloroform to cloth.
2. Approach with one hand behind back, explain I have surprise.
3. Suddenly claim, "A BIRD!" while pointing to ceiling.
4. Apply cloroform soaked cloth to girl's mouth region.
5. Shush her as she falls asleep, while slightly stroking her hair. Think to self, "she looks like such an angel."
6. Put on Sade cd.

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CJ, it's just a small part of a neverending litany. If it weren't that, it'd be something else.

Really, I though I had that buried well enough that nobody would notice.

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Slappy Doo Hoo wrote:

Well we all have our kinks, LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

My ideal 1st date:

1. Apply cloroform to cloth.
2. Approach with one hand behind back, explain I have surprise.
3. Suddenly claim, "A BIRD!" while pointing to ceiling.
4. Apply cloroform soaked cloth to girl's mouth region.
5. Shush her as she falls asleep, while slightly stroking her hair. Think to self, "she looks like such an angel."
6. Put on Sade cd.

I was with until step 6, where I would have selected Peter Cetera's Greatest Hits.

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Gargamel wrote:

I've found that wearing a hazmat suit during coitus not only protects a fellow from so many filthy, filthy, dirty, filthy germs, but adds to the excitement as well. Women love a man in uniform.

There you go, boys! Take Gargamel as your example, he's figured it out.

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Okay guys, I don't think we're helping ColoradoDude here.

Constructive ideas please!

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Who the hell are you talking about?

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Procedure for sex?

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