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Procedure for sex?

 
 
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 06:51 pm
I need some unbiased, straightforward advice and opinions everyone. When my wife and I decide to have sex (ie things get romantic, and it's understood that we're both up for it) she asks me to wash my hands. She says that she doesn't want bacteria or germs going "there". So we wash our hands. Then we go to the bedroom and take off our clothes and get into bed. That's when I have the green light to go ahead.
What do you think about this? We've had several arguments because I feel that it takes the spontaneity away. I guess I get hurt because I instinctively feel like she isn't "hot" enough for me to just lose all inhibition and go for it. Maybe I'm being childish. Could use some advice, anyway!
Thanks all...
ColoradoDude
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 23,659 • Replies: 142
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 06:56 pm
Hmmmmm.... I would feel the same as you do if I was asked to wash my hands before and it certainly would break the mood for me as well.

However, I don't know what kind of advice I can give you, other than to sit down with her and talk with her about it, but not right after she asks you to was your hands.
Talk with her when you're both calm.
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 06:58 pm
I have to say that this kinda irks me about you, though........"I guess I get hurt because I instinctively feel like she isn't "hot" enough for me to just lose all inhibition and go for it."
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 06:59 pm
Agree, especially as we're talking about some very intimate contact, anyway.

Erm, you don't work for, say Rooter Rooter, or anything like that, right?
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Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:03 pm
This might be too simple, and doesn't begin to address the real issue, but what if you kept a box of medical style handwipes on the night stand.

A clever guy might even incorporate it in the fun.... Cool
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:03 pm
Oh, if your a plumber, mechanic or something like that where your hands get all nast, then I see her point.
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Robert Gentel
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:04 pm
Re: Procedure for sex?
ColoradoDude wrote:

What do you think about this?


I think it's silly, but as you already know she doesn't and I don't think she will change her mind (I've known a couple of girls like that).

Quote:

We've had several arguments because I feel that it takes the spontaneity away.


I can see how that would kill the mood. And while I think it's kinda silly I don't think you can change her mind without ruining the mood even more.

Why not shower together? It might make the washing ritual less of an interruption and more of a part of the whole act.

Or keep antiseptic hand gel by the bed (just make sure to let your hands dry completely since I bet the alcohol-based gel would sting one's private parts).

Quote:
I guess I get hurt because I instinctively feel like she isn't "hot" enough for me to just lose all inhibition and go for it. Maybe I'm being childish. Could use some advice, anyway!


I think you have a legitimate gripe. It is kinda silly and it can easily be a mood-kill but at the same time I think it's easier for you to compromise and find ways to make it less of a mood-kill than to try to change her mind about something she feels strongly about.

Welcome to A2K by the way.
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Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:05 pm
Montana wrote:
Oh, if your a plumber, mechanic or something like that where your hands get all nast, then I see her point.


Mechanics need lovin' too.....

We have special handcleaner. (with musk)
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Robert Gentel
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:05 pm
Montana wrote:
I have to say that this kinda irks me about you, though........"I guess I get hurt because I instinctively feel like she isn't "hot" enough for me to just lose all inhibition and go for it."


I think he meant "aroused", not that she's not beautiful enough. And it makes sense, though as he probably knows it's not the case. She just has a bit of an illogical phobia.
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:06 pm
Make sure she washes her mouth beforehand.
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:07 pm
Thank you for clearing that up Robert. It didn't sound right on this end.
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Montana
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:08 pm
Rockhead wrote:
Montana wrote:
Oh, if your a plumber, mechanic or something like that where your hands get all nast, then I see her point.


Mechanics need lovin' too.....

We have special handcleaner. (with musk)


Of course, as long as they wash their hands first Cool


Gus Laughing
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:23 pm
Re: Procedure for sex?
ColoradoDude wrote:
She says that she doesn't want bacteria or germs going "there". So we wash our hands.


Sounds a little neurotic to me, unless you're guy who picks up after circus animals. She's more likely to get an infection from your male thingy (I think that's the technical term). I agree that handiwipes might be a solution, but I really think she needs to get over this. Do a little research and you will find that eliminating all bacteria is not a good thing, we have more good bacteria on our bodies than bad. The good bacteria fights off the bad bacteria. Sorry to sound like a kindergarten teacher, but I think there is something almost child like in her need for this cleansing ritual.

Does she think she has actually gotten an infection from you touching her? Does she also make you wash your mouth out with soap? - or is that a non-issue here?
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:25 pm
Green Witch wrote:

...unless you're guy who picks up after circus animals


Hey! Leave me out of this.
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Green Witch
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:29 pm
gustavratzenhofer wrote:
Green Witch wrote:

...unless you're guy who picks up after circus animals


Hey! Leave me out of this.


I said picks up after them, not picks them up for dates.
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:30 pm
I do both. How do you think I get close enough to ask them out?
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shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:38 pm
A really BAD idea here would be to compare how dirty other parts of our bodies might be from day to day living.

If she is obsessed and concerned about having bactieria 'down there' then making comments about your mouth for example, may just blow any sex ideas out of the water.


Maybe a compromise is that you wash your hands more OFTEN during the day and not just leading up to sex...

Maybe if she sees you doing this more, you may be able to work closer to a wash free sex-capade..
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:43 pm
Maybe if you get him a new sink he will wash his hands more often.

http://www.chinasnippets.com/images/chongqing-wash-hands.jpg
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SULLYFISH66
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:43 pm
Hey . . . plan ahead.

Before you even give her "the look", say, "Hey, Baby, I just washed up. Want to fool around . . .?"

If you KNOW she has this washing-hands thing, wash before.

P.S. You'd be surprised to know how many people think sex is "dirty".

I pity the fools.
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 10 Jan, 2008 07:44 pm
That poor guy is much too short for that particular sink.
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