Today’'s breaking news stories…

Morning sunrise.

Maybe placing a bun in the oven.

Masterchef Cookery Classes to commence shortly!

Neurotic media speculation after a bitter dispute broke out last night after NBC broadcast The Tonight Show with Jay Leno; at the after show party philanthropist T.R.Yagain caused outrage when he reminded Jay that he was to get shown the door next year when Conan O'Brien takes the chair.

Jay is believed to have said, “I wouldn’t hiss on him if he was a liar.” When asked if he meant, ‘you wouldn’t pi$$ on him if he was on fire.” Wandel interjected and replied, “Have you seen the size of that Try guy, do you expect Jay to tow a fire truck along for the job?”

Meanwhile, queues formed outside the Californian offices of A2K as excited members clamored to sign up for the calendar auditions.

Opticians visited after CJ discovered that she could see little of interest.

Special Agent Wandel seeking optical verification of claims by T.R.Yagain.

Jespah states the subject is too hot to touch upon

Perplexed by the subjects raised, Francis decided to leave...

Queues of mourners formed at the news of Francis departure; the wake is expected to be a prolonged affair "

Reports that it will impinge on the photo shoot are premature!

Rather intrigued to know where I can sign up for the calendar auditions this year, missed out by a couple of minutes, or was that inches last year.

"S'Eagle Of The Ship" A2K Calendar Front Cover - Bonus Poster Of The Saucy Pecker!








<oh dear... how much trouble can one get into. apologies for those of a sensitive nature!!!>

Tantalizing reports of peckers and the like give me the vapors.

Unconfirmed reports are reaching the news desk that Elvis Presley and Bigfoot were seen…

Sorry to interrupt you Bob; but we go live to Boston; where in an effort to satisfy the seemingly insatiable and voracious A2K wimmins demand for gregarious pleasure, T.R.Yagain Inc has launched a new color section featuring on the front cover a ‘Pecker’ in it’s natural state:



















Dryocopus pileatus -

Video trailer of Pecker: http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi263127321/

Woody Woodpecker Watch!

X again eh? It seems like yesterday, that I was "x-ed"

There is no woody woodpecker watching in southern California - unfortunately!
First, we shake the trees ourselves with an 4.1 small trembler and then we burn down the entire forest and then some more What's a woody woodpecker to
do?

Yellow-bellied sap suckers are often treated better.

zzzzzzz.... no sleeping on the job...

"You can do it to yourself!" cried the worldwide correspondents...

News Flash!



The Trembler™ is specifically designed to stimulate your nerve endings and massage acupressure points on your scalp, temples and neck. It has amazing soothing and relaxing properties. The effect could spread through your entire body and you may shiver with pleasure. It's pure indulgence.

Instructions
Working from the crown of your head, pass the vibrating tips over your scalp, temples and neck. This has immediate and surprising effects- goose bumps, spine tingles, trance like states and feelings of ecstasy can occur. Keep away from the eyes.


- Use on a friend and then swap places - great fun
- Relax or stimulate tired friends and associates
- The ideal gift - birthday, travel, get well or just 'I love you'
- Warning - you may get hooked
- Soothing, arousing, massaging - also works on jaded moods or jagged nerves
- Feel the magic of Good Vibrations


OH MY.... everyone needs a small trembler




Made from high grade industrial plastic, the copper prongs vibrate as you raise and lower it over the head. It feels wonderful, the best part being "YES!" You can do it to yourself!

It suddently struck T.R.Yagain, that when the girls told him "Not tonite darling, I have a headache" - they were going to find another trembling experience they could do themselves.

T.R.Yagain's bottom lip trembled.

OH MY!






(CJ... hoping the earth shaking tremblers don't shake - take care there)

Amazed and thrilled by the trembler, mismi stated that she was going to go out and get one immediately. Not that she needs it mind you...

Buzzing rumours all around a2k about a new play gadget. Tremblers in great demand it appears, it comes with a trembling 'tryagain' guarantee.

Courting Eagle Ruffles Feathers.



BEAgle was perched in a tree and was watching the skies for a partner. Soon a beautiful lark flew past, and suddenly there was lots of squawking and the flurry of feathers. Finally, the lark emerged from the tree and said, "I'm a lark, and I've been sparked." Later, a dove flew past the same tree. Again there was squawking and feathers flying. Moments later the dove emerged from the tree and said, "I'm a dove, and I've been loved." Still courting mischief, BEAgle waited for more bird life. Soon a duck flew by. Again there was more squawking and feathers in the air. Finally the duck emerged and said, "I'm a drake and there's been a terrible mistake!"

BEAgles quills are quivering.

Meanwhile, Missy "professes" her love for the A2K Trembler!

Dangerous sparks from Trembler cause certain intimate accidents. Details to follow.

Enough to make you tremble: Boston Globe cuts 42 business jobs…
The Boston Globe is cutting 42 jobs, mostly managers in advertising, circulation and marketing. This comes at a time…

T.R.Yagain Inc to file defense against allegations that there was a copyright breach in starting this publication in direct competition to a near identical thread started sometime before by Jespah (er, her) called…

Weekly A2K News!!!
Discussion by jespah on 08/01/05

Attorneys acting for WA2KN said, “Suggestions my client went back in time to copy an idea are quite frankly absurd.”

TR Yagain acting for himself said, “I may have a fool for a client, but Jespah is clearly a time traveller, how else do you explain her clear recollections of her early days at summer camp?”

Besides that; I have just seen my horrorscope:

Mercury enters your third house of communication, giving you the words to express yourself now. You can really get your point across over the next few days, so be sure to clear up any misunderstandings. Problems at work can be hammered out, but expect a few days of tension as Mercury chafes against the pressure of confusing Neptune and a unpredictable Uranus…..Excuse me; it must be those chillies I ate!

For those oblivious to Tryagain's humor: his pun about an "unpredictable Uranus" and "eating chillies" is actually pretty funny.