Today’'s breaking news stories…

About to say: Zero, nix, nada; the typeset was ready to start on ‘Y’:

Yellowstone National Park is not located in California Wendel; I think you mean Yosemite National Park "

However, for a real treat I highly recommend: Joshua Tree National Park 74485 National Park Drive Twentynine Palms, CA 92277; especially in Wildflower season which usually begins with the large, cream-colored blooms of the Joshua trees in late February, followed by colorful annuals at the lower elevations around the south boundary of the park….

And so begins the opening chapter of TR Yagain’s new book: A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Available from all good bookstores; readings at A2K on special order only.

Pledges of support flood in to support C-J against the iniquitous foreigners!

Better change the headline: Angst is always a big factor when experiencing an earthquake.

(Thank you kindly Izzie. We've had a few hefty ones here that make your knees shake too, but we're always hoping to escape the "big one")

California is not the location for Yellowstone? No wonder I have bumbled my attempt to nab Tryagain!

Dithering and clearly bereft at missing out on; quote, “…ones here that make your knees shake …“ Try flees to Tijuana to form a brass band!

Editors notation:

Wishing to cash in on the 72 million albums royalties, TRYagain practises his twizzles with his twizzle stick, whilst auditioning for the USC Trojan Marching Band in Tijuana.

TRYagain contacts SensiCore vibration dampening technology which has availability in the Classic Star, Plain Thicker Super Star and Lite Star batons.

“Twirl with it, or against it " these vibrations will be dampened” claimed TRYagain as he proceeded to shine his French Horn.

Feeling desperately sorry for Wandel as he had brought his Aquaggaswack all the way to serenade Izzie; Try offers words of advice, “It is better to be loved for who you are than to be hated for what you are not; regardless of what you think who you are is that really you?”

Generally speaking, it's him unless it isn't.

His was a soulful plea as Wandel wrote, “I myself am unable to define exactly what that "something" is.”

Perhaps this will help: ‘Something’

An undetermined or unspecified thing: “We're all recalling something, furtively seeking something” (Virginia Woolf).

Good luck with your search!

I'm shattered after reading tryagain's latest post, has he suffered a breakdown? "I may have been eggxaggerating somewhat; but I am praying for forgiveness…"

jes (er, me) wonders if the rumors of a breakdown are at all exaggerated

Knowing what Tryagain refers to in his last post, the rumors of a breakdown are indeed exaggerated. Tryagain uses every opportunity to mock Wandel (er, me).

Lest you think we are overly egotistical, Bob Dole also refers to himself in the third person.

Wait, that might not be a good counter example.

Morning News..."Eggstra Eggstra - Read All About It!"

A woman from East Sussex who bought an emu egg sold as a novelty food item on a farm on the Isle of Wight has managed to hatch a chick from it.

Gillian Stone, from Bexhill, who breeds chickens, brought home three large green emu eggs from a holiday and put them in an incubator in her kitchen.

Two turned out to be infertile, but after 52 days little Osborne hatched.

He needed to be hand fed at first, but at nine days old he is now thriving and Ms Stone is hoping to get him a mate.

"We decided to risk putting the eggs in the incubator and, after a little bit of help Osborne arrived," she said.

"He was destined to be an omelette [but] now he's an emu."



Must’ve been an eggstreme case of cracking up brought on by listening to John and “Yolk”O singing Watching The Wheels...

“Ah, people asking questions lost in confusion
Well I tell them theres no problem, only solutions
Well they shake their heads and they look at me as if I’ve lost my mind
I tell them theres no hurry
Im just sitting here doing time”

In a nut”shell”, TRYagain is advised to listen to more rock and possibly consider the UK ances'try “Queen” singing 'I Want To Break Free', to prevent further cries for forgiveness.

Eggsemplary worldwide correspondents, eggasperated by this turn of events, suggested alternative musical therapy for TRYagain.

CJ... “This b’eggars belief. I advise “Shel’by Lynne”

Jes(er her) advised r’eggae as a laid back option for relaxation.

British Correspondent reported to be practicing her arp’egg’ios with the Aristorc'rats!

MisMismi, perplexed, said “I am suffering from mistryst. I will sing the Wheels On The Bus and whistle whilst I work”.

Special Agent Wandel (er him) asked all the chicks - “What is this devil’try? Will you desist in egging him on............We must make an eggsample of him................Sheeeeeeeesh”

Cosmic BEAgle flew by looking for a l'eggy bird who was ready to lay. The emu was nowhere to be found!

Question: Just what is TRYagain hatching now!

No idea that the v'eggie were pr'eggers!

Something needs to be p'egged..

Osborne the emu should become an A2Ker.

Perhaps, due to our Special Agent being a little b'emu'sed by the flighty TRYagain, possibly Osborne could emu'late our Special Agent Wandel and become his partner agent, being r'emu'nerated by the honour and privilege of working with the best agent in the US!

Wandel and Emu - joined by the d'emu're CJ, JeshampStar - set out along with the yellow brick road with the emu'lous Msr. F who was reported singing:

He's jake the peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With his extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um.
Wherever Try goes through rain and snow,
The people always let him know:
He's Jake the Peg, deedle eedle eedle um,
With his extra leg, deedle eedle eedle um.
All Together now...

Off they went investigating the "pegged" f'emu'r!!!!!

TRYagain could be heard outback taunting Wandel with "Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport"!

BEAgle sent British Correspondent xeranth'emu'ms and chrsanth'emu'ms as she was feeling a little scrambled.

Questioning his own effectiveness in bringing Tryagain to justice, Wandel reaches out to others for help.

Probably not that difficult to locate Tria Gain.

However, I'd protect him from the angry mob, as mitigating circumstances apply..

Readily admitting problems with alphabetizing, Francis takes up knitting.

Sacrebleu! Francis admitted overlooking the damn thing!