Today’'s breaking news stories…

Zero comprehension of Tryagain's humor is not unusual. Wandel hates it when he is forced to explain a pun made by the so-called "author" of this thread. The common nickname "A2K" can be read as A to K (the first half of the alphabet). Anyway, Tryagain thought it would be funny to create a rival website "L2Z" (L to Z, the latter part of the alphabet). Readers who still fail to see the humor should not be overly concerned.

Ah ha ah ha ah ha - from L and 2.z.ie.... moi!

Barack comes to mind when one reads the baby names and Boston terriers,
which goes to show you that unusual names not necessarily are a handicap
despite popular believes. T.R.Again might be the exception too- who knows!

Calamity Jane mentioned Boston terriers! My avatar smiles.

Despite the frenzied efforts of the A2K publicity machine to keep Jespah’s wardrobe expenses secret, their best efforts failed to quell the indignation of female members over a new sign in the lobby which reads:

"Please note that A2k is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling members to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Members using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their user accounts."

After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed.

Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:

MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.


FEMALE PROCEDURE

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

Signed: Bob

Every effort has been made by Jeshamster to explain to the newbies the concept of gender association in the A2K English language.

She stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". A recent newbie sent in a ticket and asked "What gender is a computer"?

Jes wasn't certain which it was, so she divided the A2K into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of wimmins concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender, for the following reasons:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they cause the problem.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.


The mins, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender for the following reasons:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.


Further investigations to take place by Special Agent Wandel in collaboration with Calamity Jane.

T.R.Yagain unable to cast deciding vote after receiving ID ten T error.

Steady as she goes!

For once I am speechless.

Wait a minute, I just said something.

There I go again.

Dang.

Good heavens; nowhere in the Bible does God instruct us to keep or observe Halloween. So we should ask, ‘Will Halloween be observed in the future after the return of Christ when God's kingdom will be founded on the law of God?’
Answers to this and ‘Where does belly fluff come from?’ can be found in T.R.Yagain’s new book, available in the A2K lobby and all leading book stores

From our foreign news desk: Dateline Tennessee: Two convicts evade noose - jury hung

Halloween will never go out of style as long as there are children around.
Other than that, T.R.Agains gospel of the week is rather psychedelic, isn't it?
The return of Christ? What happened to the end of this world as we know it
in 2012? Who is going to be the savior then, ha? That's right: me, me, me!

Interestingly enough, 2012 is an election year. Which means it's already a sign of the Apocalypse.

"Joie de Vivre", which is the title of T.R.Yagain's latest book, banned by the censor on the grounds of explicit sexual innuendu.

Keep pinching myself, but I ain't dreaming. It's official.

I've lost 100 pounds!!!!

Losing Never Looked So Good!

Milestone reached by our very own jespah. Congratulations are in order and
we shall celebrate this special occasion with a round of virgin bloody marys and some celery sticks.

Nothing comes close in relation to the amazing feat of Jespah: Never in the annals of human history has so much been lost, cheered by so few but an inspiration to so many* "

CJ says she has no plans to diet, “As I have always been this silky slim”

Wandel expected to make an announcement that will lead to a commitment to consider if a decision should be made to review his Body Fat Mass Index (BFMI) before it goes completely off the scale; or to simply make a larger chart!


* Editors note: Any similarity between the opening paragraph and the words of Sir Winston Churchill: "Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few." is purely coincidental.

Only on A2k would people be so kind, and so odd.

I humbly thank you all. Celery sticks? Any time, CJ. Any time with any of you, my friends.

Perhaps "Admiring and Kooky" is a happy combination on the A2K boards. Jes - you are amazing gal. Go get the world lady!"

Quite pleased, a little abashed at the attention.

Recent events show that Jespah's self-discipline makes her the most qualified to be author of this thread. Jespah receives coveted endorsement from Wandel. Confidence in Tryagain is at record-low level.

Stellar reviews from wandel make for a surprise candidacy for thread author.

If elected, should I serve? And what should I serve? Does everybody like chicken soup with matzoh balls?