Is cyber-sex, internet porn, chat ect...cheating?

Porn = no
Cyber = yes

Personally, I don't find either to be cheating.

Personally, I don't do either, so I'm out of the loop it seems. Flirting in chat is perfectly fine, but lying about your single status is wrong, IMO....the porn is okay, no harm, 'cept for endless tracking cookies, so don't do it at work....cybersex...well, not a problem, I suppose, if it doesn't turn into an obsession. It is very easy to fall in love over the net, so extreme caution there should be in order. If there are problems at home, emotionally and sexually, talking to your spouse honestly is probably the best solution. Neither are 'cheating', in the technical sense, but asking why either are necessary might be something to think about.

IMO it is cheating to cyber because it is still a intimate moment which you would only want your partner to be involved in if you were truely commited. Porn is fine we all like porn lol. The thing that comes to mind that might be the worst part is if you do it over the net you would probably be the type to do it with a actual person and really cheat.

My answer is the same as Craven's.

I also think lying about your marital status is not a good thing, though "cheating" is too strong for it, if that's all it is.

Porn is completely different -- pictures are pictures are pictures, and if you don't object to porn in the home (videos, mags, whatever), there's no reason to object to it online.

i feel the same as craven and sozobe, i think ...

chat-sex (or whatever) = a kind of sexual relationship with an actual somebody else, ergo, its cheating, in my world ...

(unless your partner would be 'complicit', reading along and enjoying it or something. i mean, could be.)

porn=masturbation (i presume), ergo, not cheating ...

that much is still simple enough.

flirting is cool, but as soon as you're lying about being single, even if that in itself doesnt mean you're cheating yet, it probably means you're well on your way to! thats what i think, anyway ...

i mean i can imagine some kind of kinky game-playing or something, where you look up anon chatters and take on a fake ID for some 'session' ... that's closer to the porn/solo-thing, then, i guess. but as soon as you look the same chatter back up again, hmmm, that makes it a kind of sexual relationship again, after all, and thus cheating. (unless your partner knows about it & doesnt mind. but then how are you sure (s)he really doesnt mind?)

minefield, for sure, i imagine.

Isn't that what I was saying lol

yeh, i just use more words to say it ;-)

but porn is pretty bad though too... I don't see how looking at another person and fantasizing about them is any different then talking to another person and doing the same. What about strip clubs and 1-900 numbers?

cyber-sex and porn are quite different realms, Eileen. I put strippers and 1-900's in the porn area - not cheating, unless you start dating a stripper on the side. I guess where I differentiate it, is that strip clubs, the porn industry and 1-900's are employment. The person on the other side is extremely unlikely to be looking for any kind of relationship with their customer. Cyber-sex is different. Quite often it is two or more people looking for, and developing, a relationship. In my opinon there's more potential for it to become 'real' and leave the cyber realm.

Porn doesn't even have to involve a photograph of a real person. The future of pornogra[hy will be in entirely fabricated digital imagery.

Strip clubs and 900 numbers do involve other people. Fantasy is something that IMO is not possible to prevent. It's not the mental fantasy that I consider cheating but the realization of a breach in the trust in a relationship.

I answered breifly because these are sweeping generalizations. Cheating to me means breaking a trust that is understood or implied in a relationship. What if both spouses watch porn together? What if they have an open relationship?

Defining cheating by the action is impossible. It's defined by the relationship. In commited relationships that I'd be involved in my criteria would not make mental fantasy cheating.

I'd not enter a monogamous relationship with someone who considered fantasy cheating as it is a demand I'd not be able to meet.

Anywho, I saw a pidgeon today.

A female coworker said about her husband:
"I don't care where he gets hungry, as long as he eats at home".

I agree with Craven that cheating is defined by whatever commitment you have made, and nothing else. Should one mindlessly make the same old commitment that everyone else makes? Every person is unique, so every relationship is absolutely unique, and the nature and expectations behind it should also be unique. Expectations develop and change over time, according to what each person needs, only as they need it.

That's the Dynamic Theory of Love Management anyways.

To some people, nothing is cheating because it enriches and fulfills a person's life, provides pleasure, and is a form of practice. The better to learn, grow, and be more giving at home. But many relationships are based on possession and control rather than Love. To each their own.

I think what it comes down to is asking oneself if they feel that they are breaking marital vows in their heart, by the actions they pursue. Simple as that.

I agree cav....if you feel its cheating and you do it your cheating and so on its the commitment you and your partner make.

WHOA. ..HEY...WHO SAID PORN?

sometimes, im the only one who cracks myself up! and sometimes im the only one who laughs at my own jokes!

cav-



Gee, that's nice, if it does not turn into an obsession by one of the partners in cybersex. What aboout the other person in the duo, who believes that his/her cybersex partner is single? If cybersex is not adultery, it is at best, deception, which to me. is NOT neither ethical nor cool!

The paper recently was talking about the future of porn. Seems it's going to become a lot more interactive. You know how you can use alternative endings and the like on DVD already? Imagine this with porn - seemingly endless variations and the person being stimulated is certainly, er, directing the traffic, as it were.

How is this significantly different from cyber? Yes, cyber has 2 people involved - interactive DVD porn is 1 person and the recordings of another. Is that much different from a cyber session wherein one person copies and pastes older material to another? Or is it just the age of the material that's at issue, e. g. in cyber the material is "fresher", either made specifically for the session or for a similar session, whereas porn is mass-produced for a larger audience. Huh? Are we splitting hairs here?

What happens when DVD-type porn becomes even more interactive? E. g. the viewer gets Jemma Jamison and Ron Jeremy via email, and requests different positions or the like? How far is that from 1-900 numbers?

The reason I'm suggesting all of this is because, I am certain, the porn industry is dying to get a piece of cybering and find a way to really charge for it. What happens when these worlds collide? If you say cyber is cheating but porn isn't, what happens when porn and cyber become united and are nearly indistinguishable from one another? Where does the morality line fall then?

Yeah, Phoenix, I was waffling on that one....I don't think it's ethical or cool at all, really. Being completely unfamiliar with it, I was trying to get into the head of the people who pursue it.