In memory of my dad

Thank you safinaz and Jim.

It is strange but, writing on this forum about my dad has really been therapuetic for me.

I am posting what that member pm'd me. If that person doesn't like that I did this, then please pm me again and I will delete it. I just thought what you wrote belongs here. You are an example of a very kind and caring person. Your parents must be proud of you.

"Hi TTH, I am usually on the xxxxxx forums, but I wanted to send you my deepest sympathies and warmest wishes. I didn't want to post on your thread as I don't know you too well, and didn't want to offend you.

But I want you to know I have tears rolling down my face as I read your posts and look at the beautiful photos. My father is not well, and I can't begin to imagine the strength you must be drawing on from within, just to face each day and speak to your father via the thread. I am very scared of the day that will come, and I just can't imagine living without my Dad. Thank you for your bravery, in sharing this with us all. I hope I can be as strong as you. Take care of yourself, TTH. My thoughts are with you.

Your xxxxx A2K buddy...xxxxxxx "

I x'd out the parts that I didn't think you would want seen in the open. Hopefully, I don't offend you by doing this.

My dad's twin used to what they would say is "ride the rails" which means just hop on a train and go. Not a passenger train, a
cargo train. When my dad left the marines he did that with his brother but, decided that is not the life he wanted. So, he re-enlisted
in the military. His brother rode the rails till the day he died (that was my uncle Lester).

So, imagine my surprise when I had just got home from school and the phone rang and when I answered, it was the operator,
wanting to know if I would accept a collect call from my brother. I was about 15 and my brother was 16. My brother said something
like "oh, tell dad & mom I am in CA. Me & xxxxx hopped a train so I will be home in a few days". What a twit and I thought my parents
were going to kill him when he got back (not really kill, just a figure of speech).

TTH--

I'm glad your grieving is starting to be overlaid by pleasant memories.

Thank You Noddy24

My dad, with the help of my mom, taught all 5 of us to be kind, honest and not give up. That is what most parents try
to teach their kids though.

You would think me being the youngest, I would have been spoiled or got away with more. Not in our house though.
My sister was my dad's favorite and my brother is my mom's. It never bothered me and still doesn't.

Dad
If you were here, I would have already been on the phone with you. He made it and I am so happy. I can't wait to see them.

I've been reading along TTH and it's amazing how you talking with your father brings back the feelings I had when I lost my dad when I was 21.

I'm glad this helps you and I wish I had A2K back when I was 21, as I know it would have helped me too.

(((((((((Hugs))))))))

Thanks Montana
It really does help. I don't know why but, I don't need to know. It just helps.

To the member that sent me another pm, I am sorry I can't answer back that way because I still can't pm. Thanks for your kind words. You sound like a very nice person.

I remember when I was very little and my dad took me outside and showed me a big butterfly. It was huge (everthing is huge I think when you are young). I just remember how pretty it was and I wanted to pet it and he tried to explain to me why I couldn't. That even petting it could hurt it. So, I didn't pet it. Then he showed me a bee and I thought how pretty with the yellow and black colors. So, I thought I would be smart and not ask to pet it that way I could just do it. I did pet it and it was fuzzy. Then I picked it up and held it in my little enclosed hand and it stung me. I cried and got mad at my dad for not telling me it could bite (that is what I thought it did). I remember he laughed and said "I never said to PICK it up!!!!"

My mom always said that I was a "good" kid growing up. She never had to worry about anything I did or where I was. I always listened. She still says I have the coldest heart of anyone she has ever met though.

Hi TTH, memories like the bee story are priceless! I smiled when I read that, and can imagine you smiling as you typed it.

As for the cold heart comment, that surprises me. You seem very warm, sharing your fond memories of your Dad with us all. Perhaps you are more like your Dad than you know...bottling things up and not showing much emotion, and this has been misinterpreted as a "cold heart"? Just a thought...

Hi Dogz
You know, you are probably right. I don't show much emotion. Thanks for the post. It is nice to hear an objective opinion.

The place where I grew up didn't have really anything to do. I always say and still do, that there was a post office, police station, a grocery store and a bowling alley. Not much for a bunch of kids. So, one day my brother, sister and myself were hanging out down by the store. I went inside and took a pack of gum. The manager grabbed me before I made it out the door. He knew I took it and he knew my family too. He tried to get me to say my brother put me up to it. I said NO, I did it. Then he said it had to be my sister and I said, NO, I did it. So, he gave up and said I had 1/2 hour to have my parents call him. I went outside and told my brother & sister I had to go home and why. They said "you idiot", mom is going to kill you. I didn't want to go alone so my sister went with me. I tried to talk her into going in and telling my parents while I waited outside and she wouldn't. So, I went in and told them. My dad didn't say a word. My mom asked "why in the world did you take a pack of gum? I would understand an apple but, a pack of gum!!!!!!" I looked at my mom like this and said why would I take an apple? I don't like apples. End result = restriction & no gum

I contacted the military and let them know how I felt about the service the honor guard provided. They emailed me back to get more info so
they can contact the specific people that were involved. I didn't mention anything about having to refold the flag. I told them they did a wonderful job.

I also sent off for the Presidential Memorial Certificate. Then I called mom and told her I did that. I wasn't sure my mom would want
one since she doesn't like our current President. She didn't say much.

This would be an example to my mom of me having a "cold heart".
http://www.able2know.org/forums/viewtopic.php?p=2894337#2894337
I have sympathy for some and others I don't at all.

Dad
If you were here I would show this to you. A friend of mine emailed it to me. I have 2 friends in Iraq right now and I hope they come home.
Remember Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ervaMPt4Ha0

I would say since 17 million people have seen this video, there are people that care.

So dad,
I just got off the phone with mom. She didn't cry. She said "call your sister". I said "call her what?". She did her usual "YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!". So, I asked her why am I suppose to call? Apparently, she called mom and told mom to tell me to call her because she hasn't heard from me

Why doesn't she just call me???????

I rarely emailed my dad since my parents live real close to me but, I would have gone on his computer to show him this. This was emailed to me. I thought it was funny. This video reminded me of a cat I had. I told my dad the cat is hilarious. He would do just about everything and more than this cat in the video. He never hit me with a bat though
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmwqpHsMExg

My dad loved my cats and my dog too.

Today or yesterday was really hard for me. I always called my dad the day before I had to get on an airplane. He would listen patiently as I complained how scared I was and didn't want to go. He would tell me everything will be fine and to call him when I got to where I was flying. I picked up the phone to call him and realized he isn't here anymore

I'll be back dad......

Elton John - Circle Of Life
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LFzoWg80GS4

When I was 19 and in the hospital for 3 months my dad would go to work during the day and then drive for an hour one way to see me in the hospital. He did that every day I was there.

People have called and emailed me and have told me that they are amazed at how well I am handling his death. What they don't know is I am not handling it well. I find myself waking up during the night in tears. I really miss him.