Speaking of stress, I hit a wall of it today. I had to sit in my car and cry for a few minutes before I went to my class. And, I don't cry much. I am starting to worry about whether I can get my own significant amount of work done while remaining in that classroom. I need to do an in-class inquiry. I am to observe 3 kids, implement techniques to help them be more successful and observe whether those techniques work. Then I do another round of testing with a different technique. This'll take 3 weeks with a significant amount of classroom observation. I dunno how I can do that while having to focus on the one student as much as I have tyo for the class to move forward. And that's just the inquiry. I have to develop a 5 lesson unit. Be observed twice more (two more lessons) and be head teacher for 2 full weeks before December 14. This girl is sucking my energy away. I leave school upset and preoccupied often.
Littlek--
Do not despair.
What does your mentor say?
Detachment can feel brutal, but sometimes feeling brutal is better than feeling brutalized.
Hold your dominion.
Schools or school districts (not sure how it works in MA) often have a system of supervision. Google supervision in education - there are either professional supervisors, or one can use peers for group supervision. Maybe classmates would like the idea - they might be dealing with burnout, being overwhelmed, not feeling that one has enough skills yet, etc... It's a great way to a) function more effectively, b) remain sane, vent and get emotional support, c) analyze stuff, and d) learn techniques and skills from others.
Heh, I am just writing about supervision for my training manual, that's why i'm so clever...but coincidentally I had to plough through a lot on supervision in education (which was not what i was looking for, i was looking for supervision in therapy and counseling)... so I know there are a lot of resources out there. Might be worth agoogling.
P.S... there are also online supervision services. But those are a) expensive and b) nothing can replace face to face contact in supervision, methinks. If I was your classmates, I would like the idea of getting together once every two weeks or so, or maybe stay after the Thursday seminars...to go over stuff. It has to be somewhat structured, but generally it's a support group.
A couple of us vented at the seminar. Which is sort of one of the uses of the seminar. I'll be speaking with my classroom teacher/supervisor (SP) about this particular stress.
There are mentors for new hires - new teachers. Not so much for student teachers. I doubt anyone in my class would be interested in spending more time talking about it. They all have husbands and children to be with when they have time.
Boy, littlek, that seems like an awful of pressure to put on someone. I think I'd be crying, too. I'm sure you have what it takes to do what you need to, but holy hannah, I'm sorry you have to.
Let us know how it goes!
{{{{sympathy}}}}}
That is not only unfair, but also inefficient and counter-productive for the school
meanwhile, i'm still at work. 2am...and somebody's walking around the building. kinda freaky. i have to be back here at 9am, wondering if i should even bother going home or crash on the couch here...but that would just be too pathetic.
Ha, it turns out that the sounds of somebody walking around the building was my stomach growling. I know because they came home to my room with me... So I was afraid sick for nothing.
The commute home is not pleasant either. It used to be, but we had three muggings at gunpoint within 2-3 blocks from us in the last week. Thank you 2nd Amendment! How I love you so! Any stupid punk can get a gun. Maybe I should get one, too. I mean, if I shoot a random passerby thinking he's a mugger, I will apologize politely.
Anyway, 3am, getting up at 8. Sucks...but better than, say, genocide.
Yikes..... glad you made it home. When was the last time I saw you? Wednesday?
The New Girl was absent today. I felt a little guilty about how much better I felt. But, it was terribly obvious that the classroom ran much smoother without her presence. I actually got some time to teach and 'be' with the kids.
One obstreperous child can complicate an entire classroom.
sleeping in the office tonight...i vowed to never do that...but oh well.
just one week to go. we DO have an awesome program lined up. agh. cigarette, coffee, work...
I wondered if you'd stayed there.
egads. i'm going bonkers. i just proceeded to make a fool of myself in a convenience store. i put all the stuff on the counter and start loading them into my bag in front of the horriefied cashier. he didn't scan any of them yet.
oy. the workshop cannot be soon enough. i'm at the end of my rope.
If you don't get some down time you may make the same kind of foibles in front of an audience this weekend. That is to say, TAKE A BREAK!
I know that wasn't supposed to be funny, but I chuckled anyway. Sorry -- one more week, right? You can do it!
i will take a break when the manual is done. before then i can't afford it. it has to be done tomorrow at some point. it must. tomorrow i can sleep,not quite tonight yet. (i mean, i can...just not a full night of restful sleep).
I know JPB, i was chuckling at myself later. i hightailed outta there all purple though.
So, how is the manual going?
