Managing stress

Geez, Ogi, that sounds bad. maybe it's also time to visit a doc.....?

An Rx for mild sedation might be in order for you.

It's coming again. In two weeks I have a big three days long workshop and two important public events back to back. I have to prepare the workshop - most of it - from schedule (line-up of modules and trainers - including myself for some (which I also have to prepare), through manual, to logistics - emailing with participants, making sure they are well taken care of, getting some media coverage...simply all of it. I do have some help for stuffing folders for participants and doing some spreadsheets...but that's it.
I am not stressed yet. But it will come. I give it a day or two. I am already working into the night since last week (just got home at midnight tonight), pulling off 12-14 hours long work days. Can't be healthy. So. What do I do now that I'm not stressed yet to minimize it? A part-time colleague who is already stressed tremendously and an overworked AND stressed boss do not help. Or maybe they do - I'm thinking geeze, is that necessary... it's just a workshop... but I know myself. I am a diagnosed perfectionist after all, and everything is a big competition.
Vitamins? Exercise? Meetings with people to go over things? All those are good. What else should I be doing? If you have any secret tricks, lemme hear them.

Dag--

Find a good masseuse

Experiment with deep breathing. I've been doing this for the last year and focusing on completely emptying the lungs and filling them with "unstressed" air helps serenity.

Take a dog for a walk.

How about some boxing?

Funny, Noddy, I don't like massage. I mean, I do, but not from strangers. Nor pedicure. Silly I know, but i find it uncomfortable. I guess this is when a man comes in handy- to hear all my kvetching and offer massage.
Breething is also great. Luckily my mother the family therapist also dabbled quite a bit in meditation, relaxation and hypnosis and i got a few techniques under my belt.

Thomas, boxing is always great. I don't go to the club anymore (I messed up my wrist), but they do have a heavy bag in my gym, which will do, hopefully. trouble is to find the time to get to the gym. but i know i must.

Dag, never saw this thread before, but I do think I have something to offer.

Reading through your posts, I saw not a few similarties to how I lived for many years.

Constant stress, from childhood on. I always said I worked best under stress. Looking back, I believe that because it was the only way I knew how to deal with anything.

If things were slow and steady, I didn't see that as peace and organization and prioritizing correctly, but that something must be wrong. I took that as a sign I and/or everyone else wasn't working hard enough, and I wasn't happy until everything was in a frenzy again. When I say "happy" I really mean "back to where I could understand things, i.e. rushed and/or chaotic."

Noddy's reference to Atlas Shrugged is excellant, spot on.

Meaningful question...how old are you now? Late 20's, early 30's?

I ask this because if you worked and lived under stress for so many years, it's possibly you may be at the tipping point where your body is unable to regulate your response to the adrenaline you've become a junkie to.

There comes a point for some people, and I'm one of them, where it doesn't matter if you eat the healthiest way possible, exercise, yoga, get enough sleep, etc. If you body is accustomed to depleting your body of seritonin, it's literally sucking every molecule of it that it can get, and when there's no more available, it screams out in rage.

I totally hear you when you say you do not take pills, never have, never will. And I totally respect that. I was exactly the same. I figured if I can't control this, I'm not going to let some damn "happy pill" run my life and turn me into a zombie.

From what I read so far, you haven't had any panic attacks, but, to be honest, it would not surprise me if one day you did. That's what happened when you burn the candle at both ends. It's what happened to me.

As life became worse and worse, I became more and more determined to not get on some type of pill that, in my mind, could make me worse, or push me over the edge....so...instead, I ended up going over the edge all by myself.

Cutting to the case, I went through therapy, feeling stress every step of the way, and daily by this time panic attacks, until I just gave up.

"Fine" I said "Give me something" And this is from someone that is sooooooo anti-pill that I can barely bring myself to take an aspirin (to this day).

Other posters, who I don't even know, went off on a tangent on taking drugs, happy pills, what "95%" of SRRI takers do (how he knows it's 95% is beyond me), and I'm just offering the information that taking an SRRI is not anything like that, if you don't want it to be.

For me, breaking down and asking for help, I realized, was not asking some outside force, like a "happy pill" to change me, but was, in reality, using a tool that helped me to help myself.

I could not, through sheer will power, tell my brain, "stop taking all my seritonin!" It was just doing what I had trained it to do all this years. I had created a monster, and I could not uncreate it by myself, because it had gotten too strong. The SRRI, in my case, Zoloft, simply put some chickenwire between the monster and my brain. At the very first, my brain cried out, "where's my monster, he's killing me, but I want him" Then, it realized because the monster wasn't eating it alive, that it could actually relax....And, when it relaxed, it realized it could perform so much better than when it was stressed out all the time.

So, I'm definately not advocating drugs for you. I so know how you feel. But, please dag, keep that in your data base of knowledge just in case it's useful one day.....Sometimes boxing and yoga aren't enough. Boxing and yoga are simply tools, SRRI also, are just tools, one's that you control, and that don't control you.

I know, Chai. Luckily i don't live under constant stress. I started this sometimes in April when it was stressful for a few weeks and yes, it was bad then. But I'm also enough of a slacker and bonvivant to work myself to the ground.

The thing is, next two weeks will be insane. Nothing I can do about that. And I feel like I should be stressed. But I'm not (almost has me worried...). I will be, or at least overworked. My eyes hurt already from staring into the computer for hours on end. Maybe having a younger colleague who is as nervous as I was last year before this workshop helps, I can sort of see the whole process 'up from the balcony' - as if it was a theatre play.

I don't have the best schedule - sometimes I work the 12-14 hour days for a week or two, other times I have a really leisurely time and can work essentially when I feel like it. I could be more disciplined... though that doesn't come to me naturally.

I did do one big thing for myself this summer though. For the first time in my life (I am 31) I went to see a counselor. Universities have them for free, so why not. I've been working through a lot of issues of why especially writing process becomes so stressful for me. Perfectionism being a big part of it. Also, with my thesis, being away from home means that once I'm done I will have to figure out what to do with my life- will I stay or will I go? That's huge... now I separated that problem from the thesis itself which enabled me to get back to working on it (after almost three years)- and that alone feels very liberating. Anyhow... the stress is related to many things within. i am in a far better place than, say, half a year ago, but surely i can get to a better place still. I'm happy that the stress ahead is not gonna be months or weeks, it really is just another 10 days till the workshop starts and then once you're in it, you're in it.... So, not too too bad I guess.

OK, if it's just to get you through the next 2 weeks....

Get some GOOD artificial tears, that'll help keep your eyes from getting tired. Use them 3 times a day.

Avoid starbucks....brew yourself some nice loose leaf green tea. Keep a stash of protein rich snacks on hand, don't let yourself get hungry.

Look up over your monitor and visualize a tunnel, with a light at the end of it. That's were you are going. Put a picture on you wall with 14 concentric rings spreading outwards, and fill one in with yellow marker, smallest to largest one each day. That's how much closer the light is.

Is your ceiling robust enough to hang a bag from it? I know this won't work for this period of stress. But maybe it'll work for the next?

ohhhhhh, I like this one!

how did you know, chai? I do need artificial tears at this point. even with them my eyes are red and blurry already.

maybe i'm kidding myself about not being stressed. it's too much to think of at once and even if I Myself am not feeling stressed, my body is. I have my heartbeat thumping in my ear (due to chronic middle ear infection - it happens when I'm tired), my left shoulder is killing me (injured a rotator cuff once...) and my back, not to even mention. i'm forgetting food (which is useful as i certainly wouldn't miss a loss of a few pounds - but not the right time for sure)

i like the tunnel, too...just worried if it won't make me frantic as the light approaches....

All I need is an extra head and an extra set of hands. Oh and extension of day hours to at least 34. Other than that, I'm fine.

Other than thumping heart, middle ear infection, dry eyes, not getting enough sleep, forgetting to eat, probably dehydrated, hurting shoulder, aching back, wishing there were 10 more hours in the day, needing an extra head and hands, you're fine.



Now, if someone presented all that to you, would you agree they are fine?

get some pure lavender oil and just breathe it in.

it's not just a peaceful scent, you'll find all kinds of nice smelling oils that won't relax you as much. don't scoff unless you've tried it.

I have essential lavender oil.

Won't the non-essential oil do?

depends.

of course not. i know i'm not fine. there are 14 days of hard work ahead, but if i keep my cool i will only remain being overworked... and not stressed as much. it's the stress part i want to avoid, i don't mind bouts of insane amount of work occasionally.

I did something for myself tonight - went to see the Zanna Don't musical, which was a hoot. It sure helped.

oh no, essential oil is essential!

You mean essentially?