And when they move South, they are no longer Canadians to us. Don't even try to send William Shatner back...
We're gonna tie him up, duct-tape his mouth, and drive him across one a them many roads in northern Maine where they ain't no border crossing guards. Just 'cause y'all successfully inflicted him on us don't mean we gotta keep him. For my money, you can have Peter Jennings back as well.
Yeah, next thing you'll be sending Michael J. Fox back too, because he can't entertain you like he used you, you mean-spirited bastads...
He's kinda cute, the ladies like him, we'll keep him . . .
Setanta wrote:\For my money, you can have Peter Jennings back as well.
Total agreement on that unwelcome creep, Setanta...
We wont budge on Celine Dion and her gambling pedophiliac husband. The borders are closed.
Also, while Shania Twain technically spends most of her time in Europe practicing Sufi mysticism with her hubby Mutt, I blame you 'Mericans for making her famous enough to indulge in that sort of life. She was just a hot chick from Timmins before y'all got involved with buying her albums and all.
John Candy, Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hare--we'll take these sorts of Canajuns, the funny ones, the ones who don't fit in your humorless concentration camp of the terminally polite. If necessary, we're gonna load Bill Shatner in a missile warhead, and shoot him back at ya . . .
Shatner was dead funny singing "Dear Mr. Tambourine Man." Incidentally, for those 'Mericans who don't know, Terence and Philip on 'South Park' are FICTIONAL Canajuns...just wanted to clarify for those down there incapable of understanding such lofty concepts. Also, not all of us are polite. May I direct you to the best Canajun sitcom on our primitive TV:
http://www.showcase.ca/trailerparkboys/episodes/
Maybe we can beam Shatner up. Where is Scotty when you need him?
you dirty canucks with your flapping flip-top heads and your beady little eyes...
Just make sure you all leave Alex Trebek here.
Hey, some of those flip-top heads are worth a fortune now, just ask Pez.
Frank, I got tickets to a taping of College Jeopardy from a guy whose company did the lighting. Before it begain, Trebeck came out and took questions from kids in the audience. Any child who made the mistake of trying to steady his or her considerable nervousness (asking a question of a celebrity in front of an audience of several hundred people) with "Um..." was quickly shot down by Alex. "Um is not a word," he would say, and move on to the next raised hand. Dunno, maybe it was his way of keeping the Q&A session short, but the guy was a first-rate, pedantic, arrogant prick, and I hope he is sent back, flayed, and left on the ice for the polar bears. Or maybe just set adrift in Baffin Bay on a broken paddleboat. Just so long as he suffers...
Send him to Sainte-Marie-dans-la-Forêt to live in a trailer, and get his living by fishing in Lac Megantic--an' make sure that everyone in town is sufficiently well bribed to never speak anything but bad Québécois patois to him, while behaving as though they've never heard of him or of Jeopardy.
pd, You have described what I would call a "smart ass." c.i.
I like patois on crackers. (Hmmm, maybe I will become patoisdog, thought the effort of keeping it up would probably prove too great for me...)
Definitely an ass, CI, definitely an ass...
Umm, we don't want Trebeck back either, with his jealous of Regis complex coming out with 'Who wants to be a Millionaire?' Since that show has been cancelled, who feels stoopid now? Keep him, flay him, do whatever, but don't send him back. His attempt at a Magnum P.I. look is just not working, and it never has. Asti tabernac, maudite anglais...
Qu'il soit envoyé au Canada emboité avec des harengs a l'huile d'olives . . .
Okay. What about Bryan Adams. Will you take him back, lock him up? (Summer of '69? What was he, like, 4? Oh, wait. That other 69. "Boys in the Band" and all that, I guess. It'll probably be safest to ship him direct to Toronto, I guess...)
Moi prefers packed in simple eau.
