Men and Vasectomies

As other's have said:

http://www.vasectomymedical.com/vasectomy-questions/vasectomy-questions.htm#ques9

Sorry, I didn't cotton on that that was a link. My mind is now at ease.


I think.

Bacteria forms outside the body.

Again, the sperm is quickly reabsorbed. It's not hanging around for days.

Again, what do you think sperm that do not leave the testes do?
You said you're not clear where the sperm goes if not ejaculated....I told you already....about 1/2 an inch.

Here's a more complete explanation..sperm reabsorbtion

As you will see as you read, your body developes ways to aid in the matter.

My husband had a vasectomy more than 25 years ago.

He's never had to follow any unusual hygiene routine, and he's never noticied an bulging above the testes caused by regular deposits of sperm.

In other words vid....this is nothing to worry about.

If you are a male, and using this concern to present to your wife as reason to not get a vasectomy, sorry, it won't hold water.

Millions of men have had this done, with no harmful side effects. I hardly think you would be the exception.

I'm sorry, but I feel I'm being judged, simply by asking a question. I wasn't trying to be funny or smutty, just curious, that was all.

Your question as to whether I was male or not seemed to be used simply as a convenient lead in to your next proclamation that a male couldn't use my concern as a reason for not getting a vasectomy, which (if I were male) I would find quite belittling, taking into consideration your phrasiology and the extent to which you banged your drum.

This site is named able2know, which infers that, if one does not know an answer, one can ask in the hope of gaining the relevant knowledge.

Yes, it's very good at giving answers, but isn't particularly friendly in the way that this knowledge is given out .

Don't worry Chai, I can use big words and do joined up writing. Maybe one day you will converse with me as an equal, once I've shaken off the newbie stigma.

My first impressions are that this place is great in parts, but quite clicky in others. I hope I'm proved wrong.

Jazzie--

Brutal question: Which is more important, your sex life or preserving your views of "male" and "female" shopping responsibilities?

Another brutal question: Has the lack of sex made a difference in your all over view of the marriage? Are you happy in this marriage?

Vin--

Welcome to A2K. Our Information comes from Real People out of the goodness of their hearts.

Some days, some hearts are attached to testy dispositions. So?

Win a few, lose a few, have a few draws. Participate where you choose and when you stop enjoying yourself, move on to another forum--or onto the real world.

Chai--

Horatio is Horatio.

didn't notice if you were a newb or not vid...wasn't being judgemental or sarcastic.

just answering the questions asked with no malice. whether you wish to see that or not is up to you to decide.

you expressed concern what effects sperm had on the body before being reabsorbed, I answered.

Judgement goes both ways vid....don't judge me or others too soon.

Hmmm.

I'm not judging you, just responding to your reply in kind. I've re-read your post, and am still seeing it as a gentle slap down, even though you say it was just answering my query.

Thanks for the information, anyway.

My signature line says it all vid.

welcome to A2K

Hi Noddy,

Thanx so much for your feedback. Preserving our sex life is important but I'm a bit confused tho as to what you mean by male/female shopping resp. I take it to mean 'who looks after the contraception' - am I right? As in, who shops for the contra devices & what not?

If that's the case, then I feel the responsibility should be shared. That my husband use condoms in the interim while I'm in the process for shopping around for effective contraception that won't make me throw up or give me migraines. I want the contra implant, but it will set us back over $1K, which will take time to save up for. But I'm prepared to wait. So is he. But he just won't use condoms.

So. I'm going to just buy some and leave them on his pillow and see what happens. I am astounded that he's quite happy to just be lazy and wait for me to sort it out.

The lack of sex does not seem to have affected our marriage in a huge way, except that he is more affectionate. He seems more caring and listens to me with more attention that he did previously. I don't know if this is linked in any way to him not having sex.

My biggest fear is that he's going to look outside of our marriage for sex, seeing as he's not getting any at home. I have no evidence to base this fear on, it's just an irrational concern.

I also don't want to be in the position of feeling like I am the one to 'blame' for the lack of sex b/c I'm the one still shopping for a reliable contra method b/c he won't do anything about it. I desperately want him to share the responsibility but every time I've talked to him about it, nothing happens on his part. Or he thinks I'm 'attacking' him or being confrontational. And because of his concerns about 'how I talk to him' I've largely ended up saying nothing at all about a whole range of things.

In answer to your 2nd question, sometimes I'm happy, sometimes I'm not. Mostly, I'm somewhere in the middle. I feel restless much of the time, but I put that down to living in a different country, surrounded by different people, not doing the job I was built for and not having my own friends or family around me. I feel very much like a fish out of water and I expect I'll feel like that everyday until I return to my home country and my own people.

Long answer to a couple of short questions, no? lol.

Thanx for reading

jazzie

Hi vid - welcome to A2K. The folks here are lovely, I've visited often in the year since I joined. The peeps here offer advice and thoughts and feedback which is nearly always useful and many of them put a great deal of thought into their responses before they send them. For that, I'm very grateful to them.

I hope you enjoy your visits here, but I would ask that if you want to continue your conversation in this thread, would you mind please setting up your own thread seperate to this one? Thanks so much. It just gets confusing reading 2 conversations, one of which has nothing to do with the feedback I am seeking I'm not grumpy or cranky or anything silly like that. I'm just asking for what I want

Thanx again, I really appreciate it.

- jazzie

LOL. Quite right fishin. Hardly a 'solution', eh. Neither of us has a regular GP that we see, otherwise this would work bummer. I don't get to the quack often enough. I have an appt with an OBGYN in a couple of wks, but I could hardly send him to see her LOL!

I'd like to know more about montana's experience too.

I've never used an IUD, and the three women I know that did use them didn't have a good experience.

One bled so much...I'd be there and see how she would go through a tampon and pad together in under an hour, I mean literally staining her clothes.

Another friend had horrible cramps, really bad.

The third? She got pregnant.

All these instances were about 20 years ago. Has the device changed in that time?

The nuva ring...how exactly does that work?

What I mean is, how does it stay in place?

I used a diaphram years ago, and of course that fits over the cervix. But what I see online re the nuva ring, you just insert it in the vagina.

Doesn't it move around? Wouldn't it possible move to the lower part of the vagina and, well, fall out? What about during sex?

I know with a diaphram they said to be careful during some positions, as the penis could push the diaphram off the cervix....and that thing was on pretty tight. I'm thinking it could got out during or after sex.

I had an iud for a while, way back in yesteryear - no kidding, must have been in the eighties. I don't remember hating it nor why I changed back to zee pill. Anyway, then, no problems, no pregnancy. Also not sure which doctor it was; I had two over the years, and regard one much the better.

Hmm, I still trust that fellow, and he's well regarded nationally. I'll see if there's anything about iud's on his website.

Hey Chai

Here's some info on the ring:

http://www.nuvaring.com/Consumer/new/aboutNuvaRing/index_flash.asp?guid={8A9753B9-9697-4958-A195-33ADBA0C022F}&sid=442451848

Obviously, it's self-inserted but I don't know how it stops from moving around or becoming dislodged during sex. According to Organon's webiste (the same company who makes the implant "Implanon" I'd like to get), it sounds almost pregnancy proof - but it's their job to say that.

In presenting both sides of the story ... here's some info on the downside of the ring:

http://class-action-lawsuits.com/Nuva-Ring.html

- jazz

Re the fellow's website, no, nothing on iud's, he's more of a biggie surgical consultant person now.

Chai, FYI here's some info on the implant:

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/chicago/implanon.htm

I've never experienced any side effects and have had 2 implants over the last 5 years. I'm (hopefully) about to get my third one. The implant is not all that widely available, having only been approved by the FDA in 06 (I think) and in the city where I live, only 6 OBGYN's are 'approved' to insert it...which of itself is ridiculous as it's a simple job that any GP can do.

However, rules are rules I suppose. Would the implant be something you'd consider?

- jazz

Not me, I'm past menopause, and my husband had a vasectomy long before me married.

re the hazards of the nuvaring....feh...they sound like the standard hazards they give for bc pills, implants, anything hormonal.

I just think it's interesting that women have another option, and how it works.

I should get a vasectomy. Pretty sure I don't want to deal with kids.

slappy, if you can ask yourself right now "Would I definitely be happy if I never had kids?" and say yes, I'd say go for it.

know you through this forum, I'd say you're a perfect candidate to be childfree.

When I started dating Mr. Tea and he told me he had a vasectomy, internally I shouted "YESSSSS"!

It's a wonderful thing to never worry about that.