Finally decided to not seek a relationship

flushd- I think that the problem is that many women believe that they cannot live without a man. As a result, over the years, I have known too many women who settled for someone, just because they did not want to be alone, and lived to regret it.

I think that you had the right idea. Once a woman frees herself of the concept that she "needs" a man to survive and be happy, then she is capable of attaining a lasting, fulfilling relationship. And if she doesn't find the right one, nothing has been lost. She has spent more time enriching her own life, rather than wasting energy focusing on looking for a partner.

You don't know me. What I now know about you is that you think people can not live without sex.

Noddy -- I love your take on Perseus and Medusa! Come to think of it, she never went out of her way to harm anyone!

Thanks, flushd.

When I was a young woman, I always enjoyed my relationships with men friends more than my relationships with lovers. The biggest difference was that I never found the friends physically attractive. They also seemed more adventurous, more willing to pick up and take off at a moments notice and they never wanted to be waited on.

Site was wonky and my response to osso disappeared.

Ossobucco understands better than stuh does.

LEt me put this in the form of examples. I saw a man for several years. I like early music. I like my house cool for both environmental and economic reasons. He carries a space heater with him and plugs it in wherever he goes. He hates early music concerts which tend to take place in churches which are cold. Tell him to wear a sweater and he refuses. Ditto long underwear.

When we met he was a disc jockey and we went to lots of concerts on comps. However, we never went out afterwards. The fact that he doesn't drink coffee or alcohol complicates things, but, I would just die for an after concert drink, caffeinated or boozy. We always went to my house where he expected me to serve him food and run his heater off my electricity. My kids would yell, wear a sweater, we hate the smell of heaters and he would ask why.

I recently went to a concert -- I work two jobs and while I can't afford to go often, when I go, I like to have the evening end with a snack or a drink -- and then to a restaurant with a bar menu. He flipped out because I had a pear martini. "Those drinks cost $12." "No, $15 because I left a $3 tip."
"You should only tip 10%." "No, she was very nice." "You don't have that kind of money." "Yes, but now I know how to make a great drink and I had a wonderful conversation with the people next to me who were at the concert. I think I got my money's worth."

[quote="plainoldme"]I recently went to a concert -- I work two jobs and while I can't afford to go often, when I go, I like to have the evening end with a snack or a drink -- and then to a restaurant with a bar menu. He flipped out because I had a pear martini. "Those drinks cost $12." "No, $15 because I left a $3 tip."
"You should only tip 10%." "No, she was very nice." "You don't have that kind of money." "Yes, but now I know how to make a great drink and I had a wonderful conversation with the people next to me who were at the concert. I think I got my money's worth."[/quote]

I like your attitude!
I bet there are men out there who like your attitude, too.
And they usually turn up, when you are not looking for them!

I did not get it though: Are you still with the guy?

Haha, right, and what I know about you is that you don't take friendly jokes very well

'people' can't live without sex.
Otheriwse we would be extinct.

TPQ, That's true with most in the animal kingdom, but I'm sure there are always exceptions to the general rule - of nature. he he he...

Damn yeah, bacteria.

Bohne -- No, I am not still with the guy. We actually broke up in 2000 but we still talk, although less often then we formerly did. I knew from hearing his life story, that he generally tries to hang on to any woman who breaks up with him. I think when a woman gets tired of him, she becomes more interesting to him. Anyway, I was his longest relationship: 6 years. I had trouble breaking up with and spent two years making up my mind. A friend suggested that it was because my life was so chaotic, that I didn't want any more chaos. I agree but I also knew I would spend a year in arguments and daily phone calls. I was wrong: it was three years.

I actually like talking to him because we do agree on several things, but there were gaps we would never be able to bridge.

stuh -- There is no woman who would take it as humorous if you suggested she should try lesbianism, just as there is no man who would think it is funny if someone suggested he needed viagra.

Pentacle Queen -- Don't you think that when people use the word sex, they are referring not to procreation but to a recreational activity involving normally covered organs?

If you didn't find it funny then that's fine, but their was nothing acidic or insulting about my joke, and no need for you get an attitude about it. You're also very wrong, most women are not so stuffy. I wouldn't be surprised if your apparent lack of success with men is due to a result in the unfriendly way that you deal with them.

Actually, I caught the joke... he started it with "heh" after all...

POM - one often leads to the other... why so pedantic?

maybe you need to be Canajun to get it? Cuz I thought it was funny-ish.

I don't get the whole "seek" a relationship thing. I know people do. It's just outside of my personal experience.

mame, i was only joking.
I never play smart-ass so i thought i would have a go.

That's not being pedantic. Exact language makes a difference.

Considering that I was taken to task on another thread for being too interested in sex, the whole thing is ridiculous.

Besides, all too many men automatically label a woman a lesbian, often because she just doesn't find them attractive.

And the problem is not my lack of success with men. I don't have trouble attracting them, I am just not interested in being controlled. If I enjoy friendships with me, I certainly must be friendly toward them.