Oh It's Started Already...

We'd figured it out the second time, and just kicked everybody out. Set visiting hours for the family, warned my brother to keep his mouth SHUT this time, came home a day early....

I know, right?

I was watching my brother's kid one time because my brother and his wife had to make a quick run to the bank for something or another. They told me just to watch the little guy and if he started crying to pick him up and gently rock him and make little noises. They assured me that such actions would quiet him and that they would return in no more than twenty minutes.

As soon as they were backing out of the driveway the kid started crying. I thought I could catch them in time and I started heading toward the door to stop them, but then I remembered something about not leaving a child unattended so I had to let them go and return to the child.

I picked the kid up and was hit by a wall of odor. It smelled like ****. I thought to myself, "What the hell is that smell?"

And then I saw the brown ooze leaking from the diaper and knew I was in some serious trouble.

I looked around for a place to put the kid until they got back but I saw no place where they would accept crap residue. I held my arms straight out, the kids legs dangling in the air, and the ooze coming dangerously close to breaking free and dropping on the floor.

I spotted the sink.

I held the kid over the skink, tore the diaper off and tossed it in the garbage can. "Now what?" I thought. "How am I supposed to get that crap of its butt?"

Then I noticed the that spray nozzle thingy on the back of the sink. I grabbed the kid by the ankles with one hand, and with the other I started spraying the crap off of him.

It worked perfectly. The crap ran into the sink, swirled around a little bit, then disappeared.

I was feeling pretty proud of my resourcefulness when I hear the door open and my sister-in-law let out a scream, "Gustav! What are you doing!?"

She snatched the kid from my hand and the kid immediately started crying. (Until then, miraculously, it had not made a peep)

She was consoling the kid and my brother gave me a dirty look and jerked his thumb toward the door, motioning for me to leave.

I took the hint.

He called me later and told me that his wife (Judy) was still very mad at me.

Gus you did well. People have different child care styles.

Just an hour ago I was at the bank and some ladies 3 year old darling was running around like a little maniac and ignoring mommy. He took all the oranges out of the fruit basket, touching everything and she says " If you'll just behave yourself I'll give you a sucker". See, I don't parent that way so I leaned over to the kid and said, "Eithe that or the devil will come and take you to the bad place"

I don't know if she appreciated it but I believe everyone else in the bank did because the little **** got real quiet.

Judy, Judy, Judy....

I hate people who bargain with their kids. My parents did not bargain with me. They said it was so and it was so or I got it.

Here is another tip of dubious quality, Bella.

In the 1980's (when my daughter was a baby), this stuffed monkey was very popular. We put one in my daughter's crib. The stuffed monkey was designed so that you could put its thumb in its mouth. Soon, my baby daughter started sucking her thumb and for the first time started sleeping thru the night!

Gus, are you going to fill Bella in on crate training, or shall I?

Hey Bella Dea - don't stress. Take a deep breath - you'll be fine. Remember, stress isn't good for the kiddo. Besides, you'll get it all down. If I can do it, *anyone* can - and I'm not being modest. I was so nervous about being able to handle a new baby, that I went around asking each & every mom I knew: "Is it true? Is there really a maternal instinct that kicks in the moment you have a baby?" Well, there isn't. But you'll be amazed at how quickly you'll pick it up. I was/am always amazed at how terrific M was/is at cueing me. She taught me well.

Pre-natal classes were great & very helpful, IMO. Lots of people rubbish them though - so up to you. I found them very helpful both in terms of information, as well as for networking with other expectant moms. I formed a couple moms' groups right there.

Sorry, I don't have any suggestions/tips for setting up a nursery - we didn't. I guess we will. At some point... When I've weaned her and gotten her to sleep in her own bed...(but we've all heard that story!). A co-worker though just set up her son's nursery in a jungle theme - and it was pretty adorable.

Must see video/dvd: Happiest baby on the block - Dr. Harvey Karp. Lifesaver for us for M's crying bouts.

Just enjoy it all. Indulge yourself. Now's your moment, as the preggie woman. (Most people are quicker to jump up to help a hugely preggers woman, than they are to a woman with a baby! So milk it!)

Oh Bella, be sure to look up gus's advice before anyone elses. Remember what a help he was when I had little Niles?




I wonder whatever happened to Niles?




anyway...you've had me hyperventilating for the last few pages missy.

Theme...?
My palms broke out in a cold sweat when I heard that one.

Theme for a baby room?

I'm thinking French bordello, because I always picture lots of soft cushy pillows and cushions laying around, and that red flocked wall paper must absorb some shock if something was to fall against it.

Here's some neat info on vocalizations by infants:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunstan_Baby_Language

Ok what do you all have against themeing a baby's room?

I had my kids in the '60's--on a very, very low budget.

A "theme" room strikes me as more of a stage set or possibly an advertising gimmick than a place for a highly individual baby from two highly colorful families to grow into a person.

Think of the doting mommies who have planned a pink and white princess room and discovered that baby planned to be a tomboy.

If you loved Sesame Street, throw some Sesame Street into the decorating scheme--but leave lots of room for the Oz books and a football team and pictures of all grandparents and family dogs and a really terrific painting of a storm (or maybe of sunflowers).

Eclectic in a baby's room gives them lots of steps between this world and the stars.

Well, I like the idea of coordinating everything in the baby's room. And since it's mine, I am going to do it, even if you all think it's a waste of time or money or whatever.

I want matching furniture and matching crib stuff. And if we can, I will.

I we can't well, we can't. But this is my first baby and I want to do it how I want to do it.

I did agree that gender neutral is the best way to go. And I intend on it. But there is nothing wrong with wanting to make a room come together and match. I wouldn't have furniture that didn't match in my living room if I could help it so why would I not want my baby's room to match?

Not to mention, in a few years the room can be redecorated if need be.

Oh

quit being such a baby.

Took you long enough.

Had to tell you and everything.

Sheesh. You need to lay off the pot. Your reflexes are getting slow.

Bella--

Good for you.

Mommies should know their own minds.

Thanks Noddy.

Although, you know I will always accept advice from those who've been there.

Even if I don't take it, I'll listen to it.

Nothing at all.

It's just that I'm experienced in decorating French bordellos, and I've never seen a Winnie the Pooh in one.

You know how at baby showers all the womens go "oooo....aaaa" at all these tiny little t-shirts?

That when I start furiously scrathing at a rash that materializes on my arms.

I hate baby showers.

I hate wedding showers.

I hate them when they aren't mine.

I hate them when they are mine.

All those people staring at you.

Just gimme my stuff and go home.