"It's Genetic." Riiiight.

On my friend who would have killed herself if paraplegic back then (don't know about now, rather doubt it)...


she used to run seven miles most days of the week - also while fairly late pregnant (she was a PE/nursing major). The boy is in his twenties now, quite the sharp fellow.

She found their house for sale while running, a rundown ranchy sort of house. Its value has multipled, they still have the near-same house, surrounded by acres of mansions. Time wounds, sometimes, even if it heals moneywise.

she volunteers getting non native plants out of native area landscape - she's a brute gardener and effective.

she broke an ankle ice skating a while ago. Less ept now. Is probably still a soccer coach, but we've lost touch since I moved here.

That woman has never ever worried about weight. And.... wait for it.... cooks a lot of great, really great, pasta.

So, you see, we're near opposites, but pals.

That is interesting about the olive oil.

I remember there being a big to do about the quality of olive oil not too long ago and how what we 'think' is olive oil, really isnt.. and so on..

Well, I'm sure some is said to be italian when it is only packaged there - but then what is it? greek - Greek olive oil is probably just fine generally. Spanish is often good. Californian is often good.

And besides, primo really means a production facility with very high standards. If one is interested in all that, research matters.

I'm a sometime (when I can afford it) member of SlowFood. Those folks care a lot about precise growing areas and production methods.

if the oil comes from an olive, it is ok with me.

Well, I'm presently addicted to Keller's plain black olives. Never better.... and inexpensive. I could probably exist on them.

Not spicy, more in the way of canned black olives, but with much more body/texture/deliciousness.

I say this since I can't just buy a case of Mezzetti's olives with almonds/ lemon/ chardonnay/ herbs, et al.

that sounds wonderful.


my favorite olive is the kalamata.

i use it on my pizzas, sandwiches ( depends on what it is though ) , dice them and put them into stir fried tofu, or in my omletts

and sometimes, i just eat the whole container.


addicting little treats they are.

Yep. And skeery (as shewolf says) how a lot feel they are "helping".

In some ways it is like the people who bash smokers for smoking.

All it does is boost thier ego about not smoking.

Smokers have heard it all. We ( well not me anymore) know smoking is bad and allyou have to do is stop .
It makes you unhealthy and unable to do much.

Same with eating junk.
For those people who eat McCrap , sugar, and horrible fatty food all day , KNOW they are eating bad. But, are addicted to the point that it might actually be painful to quit. So they keep eating.
This THEY KNOW

yet the skinny minnies approach them, and throw subtle insults in the middle of 'nutrition information' as if they have not heard it all before. Several hundred times, sometimes from several hundred people.

I admit: truly obese folks and drunks both piss me off. If you are someone I care about, I mean.
It ain't just about you anymore.
It obviously isn't good for you, for the ones who care about you, or for living. So, yeah, it does make me mad because it hurts to watch.

I don't go around bashing any one, or being mean. My anger - and yes, sometimes disguist - I know should rightly stay where it belongs (with me).

Sometimes I honestly do want to yell though C'MON!

A person who is struggling to get up the stairs because of weight issues (I mean, specificially because of weight issues, NOT someone with a medical condition who then gained weight - BIG difference in my attitude to tell truth) has their head up their ass if they think it is all about genetics.

I'm not going to go into all the factors of why some folks are smaller or larger than others, fatter or not. There are lots.
Of course.

Ok, my personal experience is of being thin. Always have been thin, but I also have put a lot of time and effort into learning how to eat, what to eat, to exercise, and it is always a priority for me.
If I start binging, I see the pounds add up too. But so far I have able to avoid a situation that leaves me with a real uphill battle : being hurt or something.
It's not like I am not aware that life throws curveballs and sometimes things happen out of your control - and sometimes that affects your fitness.
No ****. I know that. I know I'm gonna gain weight as I get older, like it or not. I'm gonna lose and work harder for what comes easily at this time.
It is a valid factor - but I won't humor that as an excuse to do nothing or binge yourself ill.

Besides, there are a lot of fat people who love to pick on people who try to take care of themselves and who are interested in fitness.
"You look too skinny. Eat!"
"What? You gotta eat with me, i can't eat the cheesecake alone, you'll make me feel like a loser."
etc. on and on and on.

Downright cruel **** too. "You look anorexic" "Oh lucky you, with the itty bitty tank tops, must be nice." on and on.

It is all stupid. Being an asshole is being an asshole, period.
Fat, skinny, fit or grossly unhealthy and self destructive: if you are prick, you are a prick.

When it comes down to it, who cares really if we don't all look the same. My best female friend has more weight than is good for her to the point at putting her health seriously at risk at a young age.
She is gorgeous and wonderful, of course, she's my friend, yet it sucks ass to KNOW she is hurting herself.
And there is nothing one can do except support her as a person. But you know what....that doesn't mean I will listen to another round of 'she is so lucky to be thin' without at least thinking inside that she is bullshitting herself.

.............

And our food is some scary stuff. What to eat nowadays.

I have two friends who are a couple, who have both gained quite a bit of weight over the last ten years. He is also now diabetic and recently lost a leg due to an infection not healing up. He is a doctor and she is a nurse. THey both probably drink about 2 litres of red wine every day, and when she cooks, whoa! Rich, delicious food - way too much of it for me, but God, it's delicious.

He can't do much walking but she does try to walk in the woods near her home on a regular basis.

I love them both very much and while I admit to some concern about their health, I would feel it presumptuous to even mention something so personal. They are health care professionals and know much more than I do on this topic. They are also grown ups, so they can do what they want. When I smoked, she didn't lecture me... she was really good about it. (I remember when righteous, do-gooders would lecture me about smoking. It was infuriating and insulting).

Anyway, I think we need to give people room to be what they are. It's none of our business anyway, so we should keep our noses and comments to ourselves. Saying things doesn't help; it hurts.

Unfortunately, these types project their opinion of themselves in such a situation on to others.

Can't tell you the number of times I've heard "geez, I'd kill myself if I was that fat."

Just yesterday in the store while I was buying produce, some woman and her pre-teen kids arrived and proceeded to loudly use me as an example to her kids for why they needed to pay attention to their food.

Remember, this is after I've already lost 100 pounds. I could possibly justify her comments if I were in the pastry aisle loading up my cart. I was buying carrots and celery!!! And I was in the store walking around all the aisles, not having groceries delivered to me like I needed to have done before surgery!!

As I walked by, I leaned over to her son and loudly whispered, "yes kiddo, and do use your mother's example of an extremely rude person. You'll need to pay attention to that if you ever gain weight yourself or fall in love with someone who has. Apparently, her love is conditional."



The new me. Thinner, older, and louder. Not shutting up about it anymore.

Butrflynet, you are right and I know it. And what that woman said in the store, using you as an example, is just not right.

I can't know why someone is the way they are, unless I truly know them (and even then !) and if I was a better person it wouldn't have an effect on my attitude towards them regarding how much consideration I think they should get.
But I'm admitting something not so pleasant about myself. A few years ago, I wouldn't even have questioned it or opening my big fat mouth to voice my opinions.

Now, I just keep shut. There are time to jump before thinking and that is not one of them. It is arrogant and presumptious and rude.
I know.

Mame said it perfectly. >>>>Anyway, I think we need to give people room to be what they are. It's none of our business anyway, so we should keep our noses and comments to ourselves. Saying things doesn't help; it hurts.<<<<<

Good for you, butterflynet - that was extremely rude of her! I'd have done the same thing. I am appalled that people actually have the nerve to do that.

Congrats on losing 100 lbs; that's an amazing accomplishment.

Well, , butrflynet, that friend who said that in a quiet discussion more than thirty years ago would be unlikely to kill herself if she would become paraplegic now, and probably wouldn't have then either. In her case, she is a woman who thrives on moving, needs moving - dancing, running, hiking, major gardening; it would undoubtedly be especially hard for her. She wasn't, back then, without empathy and sympathy. She was a well loved VA nurse (I heard from others) at the height of the Vietnam War, with no hostility to the people she took care of who had suffered these injuries - quite the opposite.

I probably shouldn't have brought that up, because her comment then doesn't really fit the see-large-person-in-grocery-store-and-make-stupid-remark scenario.

Flushd,

I deleted my post after reading it. It felt like it was written too abruptly, but thanks for replying. I'd hoped no one had seen it. I'm sorry about the way I expressed it. I should have waited awhile after writing about my experience in the grocery store yesterday. You got a bit of the brunt of my remaining anger over it.



By the way, while in the store yesterday, I got a great New Year's gift. For months I've been asking the produce guy to get some sunchokes (aka Jerusalem artichoke). They have a flavor like artichokes but don't cost nearly as much. Yesterday, there were bags of them and the produce guy made sure I saw them.

I wasn't sure how to cook them other than boiling and mashing like potatos so I looked on the internet for ideas. I discovered an interesting bit of info about them that diabetics might like to know.



I found a website with a lot of info about them and some recipes:

http://www.consciouschoice.com/2000/cc1311/cooking1311.html


More here. I didn't know they were a type of sunflower. They look like they'd be beautiful in the garden too.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerusalem_artichoke

Butrflynet, yeah, I wondered where it disappeared to. I knew I saw it, I'm not crazy.

No problems. I already regret much of what I've written here. Sorry for being insensitive.

It isn't that you shouldn't be concerned over a friend's health. Criticism just is not the way to "help" them. We've heard such help all our fat lives. Want to know some of the best ways to show concern for a fat friend?

Help them shop, carry home and unpack a load of produce and meat. Ask if they'd like some help with some of the housecleaning chores they aren't able to easily do, such as scrubbing out the bathtub. Go easy on that, most often your friend will feel ashamed for not being able to scrub the tub. Ask if they'd like some help reorganizing kitchen cabinets for the new year. If they're willing, help clean out all the junk food in cabinets to make room for healthier choices. Help them remove the junk to the trash bins.

Get them out of the house with some activities they can do. Invite them out to fly kites in the Spring. Take a walk to collect items of nature for something crafty to make together when you get home. Make a day of washing your cars together. Hand detailing and waxing included. Make a date to have your hair, finger and toe nails done together. Many fat people aren't able to easily give themselves toenail trims and the new hairdo will do wonders for the esteem.

A lot of elder people who are not fat would appreciate such help too.

Also -- try to center togetherness and good things around something other than food. It's so easy, it's incredibly simple and we all do it, to center our life's fun and observances and socializing around food.

Instead of making it just going to a restaurant, try going to a museum first, or a park. Even for a short period of time. Hey, there's a new exhibit, let's go check it out. Are you gonna have lunch or dinner afterwards? Of course, no kidding. But make it about something other than food.

PS B'net I think I love your produce guy. Ours got in tomatillos about a month ago.

Well, herreeeeeess an article.

I haven't an immediate comment.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/29/AR2006122901722.html

Well, here's a funny thing - I quit my marketing/investor relations job Dec 29th and started cooking in a pub on the 30th. When I got home tonight, I was telling my husband of all the things I'd never eat again, now I've remembered what goes into them. Coincidentally, he had lined up Supersize Me on tv for us to watch.

That guy, Morgan, gained 24.5 lbs in 1 month (of eating nothing but McDonalds food), he ate 30 lbs of sugar (their premium salad plus dressing is more calories than a Big Mac!), etc etc etc...

I love cooking but I think I'll have to find another job ... today was kind of gross.