Quote:Kids dont like the idea of their parents having sex, period. They feel uncomfortable about that, yes - who wants to think of their mom having sex?
Nope, I'm 36 and don't want to discuss sex with my mother. It still just grosses me out at the thought....
Quote:That seems like a fact of life to me. What is the alternative suggestion? That mother leaves the house whenever she starts cuddling with her boyfriend after hours and it rolls into more? Because she cant be doing it in the room next to her child, even with the doors closed? Where'd she go? A hotel? First arrange a babysit every time?
Way I see it, who'd want to put one's single mum to that kind of trouble? A single mom's life is stressed enough as it is, and love is especially hard to find if you're one..
Nimh, your trying to make more out of my statement than is there. Hell, I'm all for sex, love it. But I don't involve my children in it. Its my business, I don't advertise it to them, nor do I parade around in front of them naked, just because I feel the need to be free. In all honesty, there are times I'd give my eyeteeth to pull all my clothes off and lay on the couch, but I don't, because it would put my kids in an uncomfortable situation, embarrass them, and be totally out of sinc with my nature.
And yes, a single mothers life is hard. I remember the period of time my mother struggled with us alone. I haven't forgotten that. But she had enough respect for us, that she didn't involve us in her affairs. She didn't walk around naked while her boyfriend was in the bedroom.
And the point about the dope. Nimh, all I'm trying to convey is what is taught to children in the homes, doesn't necessarily make it right. That I was trying to point out to you, that parents behavior can inflict different ideas in children on what is right and what is wrong, and can lead to trouble years later for them to have to endure. That we have a responsiblity to our children, to teach them a correct set of morals/values to live by. Whether we agree with what level of morality each parent has or not, in society...there is a set standard, some conform to that, some don't. It doesn't mean I'm an advocate for CPS being called anytime I disagree with someone.
Its the emotional abuse that pisses me off that children have to endure. I lived through a world of emotional abuse, I detest it, it pisses me off to no end that a child has to suffer at the hands of a parent.
You have to remember, children didn't ask to be brought into this world, they are here by our choice.
You don't agree with Cjhsa, thats fine. I happen to agree with him. My boys are both avid shooters, along with me. Its considered the norm to our family, its not embarrassing, it doesn't humiliate my children.
blacksmithnQuote:On the other hand, as posited here, with mom parading around nude in public view, with mom choosing to involve her children in her sex life and with the children clearly expressing their embarassment and humiliation with the whole situation, then yeah, I'd say there's a big problem here. And if you can't grasp this, then I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.
EXACTLY!
SozQuote:While I look forward to getting the whole story from Valhalla, I think the reactions here are themselves instructive.
Mitigating circumstances have come up for just about every single thing (assuming for a minute that any of it is true) -- she's in an isolated rural area where nobody can see her unless they happened to be walking up her road. That puts things like running from her car (didn't see that one) and not closing curtains in a different light, for those of us who assume an urban context. It's not unreasonable for her to assume that nobody would see her.
The "naked in front of kids with boyfriend watching and traumatized kids" has become clothed in a robe with the kids totally fine with it.
I don't know which version is TRUE, but it's exactly why I get antsy about the idea of child protective services being called.
Soz, your the one that said this raises a zillion questions....
I didn't say I'd call CPS, I said, "I'd have her ass, and the BF's." Meaning, that if I was her ex and found out, I'd have a chit chat with them. If that failed to work, and the mother's nudity still was undaunted, I'd then go as far as to pursue custody.
Emotional Abuse, by witnessing the mother naked. No ! But having to endure repeated humiliation because of her nakedness, YES.
JPBQuote:The original post discusses a dilemma in regards to nudity. I don't see how these two individuals can cross the gap they have in how they perceive nudity. My more general take is that, while perhaps unfortunate, any idiot can be a parent and running naked through the living room might be idiotic, I don't think it's abusive.
I never said it was abusive. I said that the repeated humiliation, embarrassment isn't stopped, is/can be considered emotional abuse.
Nimh, Lets just agree to disagree. I don't see your point of view, nor do you see mine. Lets leave it at that. Quite frankly, I am tired of argueing my viewpoint with you, because its clear that you won't see it & I won't see yours.
