Careless Nudity

I still don't understand what part of this constitutes as grounds for unfit parenting. Really, I wan't to know!

Thankyou for that. Made me laugh!

I wish I could give examples with specifics, but since I do not know anyone that this has happened to.. I cant.

But I have a good friend who is a social worker for abused / battered women and children.

she has had situations where people have called because of loud sex, complaining that it was dangerous for kids.

people have called because parents were nude in front of thier kids

people have called because of over heard conversations about sex that kids can hear


people are damn nosey sometimes..

Well, I can understand the kids' point of view. They are old enough to be developing their own sense of sexuality. Mom naked alone - might not be a big deal, just embarrassing to see. Not everyone wants to see their mother naked - and these girls aren't little tots.
But seeing your mom naked and her boyfriend watching from the bed.
Yes, that would 'creep me out' too. Who wants to see the bf oogling your naked mom?
And then there is the pre-pube and adolescent getting embarrassed for your mom when she does things you think are stupid.

Anyways, this isn't a good match. Plain and simple.

I'd guess and say having the pervo next door. And the mom doing some questionable things that could put the kids in danger.

Well, Im sure people call about all kinds of stupid stuff here too. But none of these things could possibly count as any kind of reason for official intervention..... could they?

That would just be crazy.

And in the example Ragman seemed to indicate (in the quote below) - I mean, what? If you're a single mom, you're only allowed to have sex, you know, somewhere outside (a hotel perhaps?) - if and when you can find a babysit of course?

Seems wild.

Hey, under such a "no sex without marriage if your kid is asleep in the other room" rule, I would have caused a friend the loss of her kid...

I mean, thaz just weird.

nimh said almost everything I wanted to...

Also please consider the following questionaire

a) did you ever see your mom naked growing up?

b) did you ever hear noises from the bedroom?

c) did you grow up twisted?

Yes they could. Someone of my extended family was accused, and among the things they got him on was taking a shower with his child (she didn't recognize a full blown penis until the psychiatrist showed it to her), and for having her walk in the room with his girlfriend having her boobs exposed in bed, which he'd cheerfully admitted to.

He paid for many thousands of dollars of therapy because of those events, the last couple of items agreed to of a larger number of instances not substantiated..

It was a setup, admitted by the mother to me years later by way of a drunken phone apology.

Now then, I'm the last to say I want accusations tossed off. But in that case, I saw fates aligned against him, and, yes, against the child.

Regardless of whether it would be grounds for authorities, to a lot of 14 yr old girls, 10 and 9 were the other ages? near there anyhow...
mom boinking her bf in the next room is at least uncomfortable for some. See my other post for the rest of the details, if you care.

I think Ragman was just trying to make a point about the aparent disregard the mom has for what her kids - something bothers them (her naked, cleavage, bf watching it all with them there) and she makes it about herself but doesn't do anything differently.

Not saying I know a whit about this woman. But I grew up around an inappropriote mother. It ain't cool, and it isn't prudish to want it to stop.

I run the risk of running my mouth to high heaven about this, but whatever.

It's different if you're a kid who sees mom or dad naked around the house. No biggie. Or that accidental walking-in the room when you aren't supposed to and they are 'busy'. Or hearing mom and dad bumping (not fun, but not a big deal right).

When you're a teen or so, and mom is boinking another man - not your father - and bringing him in the house, while she parades around naked. Ehh...see the room for complication here?

Not saying 'call the authorities!' or sounding alarm bells here. I just don't go along with the "hey, what's the fuss about if the woman wants to have her bf over and be nude with the girls around?".

I mean - she seems Out to Lunch, so to say.

i absolutly agree.

I think, when your kids are old enough to become aware of thier bodies and the true meaning of privacy , it is time even for the nudist parent, to respect those wishes and desires.

i agree that it is awkward and disturbing for the kids...but i think it's really commonplace, legal, and within the parents' jurisdiction.

flushd and shewolf captued my point exactly.

Ok...let me ask this?

My oldest son is 12, would it be appropriate for me to walk around naked in front of him?

Noooo, it wouldn't. When he's 3...maybe, but at 12, hell no!

If I was to do that, and people found out, the first thing they would do is place a call to Child protection services, and quite frankly, I wouldn't blame them. Theres a time to draw the line, and to keep your naked body to yourself. Not to count, its called repect for those around you...not counting respect for yourself.

It embarrass the girls, which is humiliating for them. It would be for me....my mother or not. What complication might this inflict on their psyche years later? Turn them into uneducated tarts????

And..I don't believe for an instance that our inquirer is trying to put his GF on the path of redemption, just for her to have some respect. Which he should have also, since he was lying in bed...while watching her prance around naked in front of her girls.
And yes, there is a time and place for that also. When the girls are asleep or gone elsewhere, or take her to your house. I mean, come on...have enough respect for yourself, that you don't put yourself in that position, have respect for those girls. Do you think they want to sit in the house listening to you have sex with their mother or know what your doing? NOOOO

Let me make a few points here:

First: GF claims that step-father tried to molest one child. If that were true, I'd make step-fathers life a living hell, he'd move or I would. Why hasn't she?

Secondly, if its not true, whose to say that she want put that claim on him? He stated that he was lying in bed watching his naked girlfriend prance around in front of the girls, while one covered his eyes? (this bothered him) Or did I misread that? So...if he's in bed, and one of her girls had joined him....thats not kosher either....thats being set up to be accused as a child molester. Seriously, were you in bed naked too, while you could see your GF prancing around naked in front of the girls?

Third: GF is prancing around naked in the yard, within site of the step-father...Does that sound normal? Thats just inviting trouble...Whats she saying to the step-father? "You tried to molest my daughter, look what you could have had?" Besides...he's 80????

Doesn't make good sense.... If what I pointed out is true, then you don't have anymore sense than she does. Sorry, but when you put yourself in a position as you have, your asking for trouble. If she can't have enough respect for her daughters not to put them in that position, why would she have any respect for you?

STUH

Parents is the KEY word here! Not GF and BF. Yes, some households it is common place for parents to walk around somewhat naked in front of their kids, they don't have any modesty.

But not in a BF & GF situation, unless your wanting to invite trouble into the relationship.

makemeshiver: thanks for adding your cogent and well-thought out comments. The more you look at this situation, the worse it gets (which BTW is why I abbreviated my comments). It's too convoluted and phoney sounding for credibility (I HOPE).

Well, I agreed with you.

I may have read to much between the lines, but seriously here....theres more to think about then his GF's nudity that he's uncomfortable with.

He's running the risk of being caught in a trap of his own design.

Val, you need to really reconsider some things here. You are uncomfortable with your GF's nudity, but that brings to question...your own nudity in her house. IMHO, You have no business being in her bed, naked or dressed, while those girls are home, I don't care what stage of the relationship you are in. Your not married to her, if you were...that might change up a few things, but not many.

I'd like to add this also, if I were her ex, I'd not only have her ass, but I'd have yours too, and custody of those girls.

VAL

Bullshit! This is just an excuse to justify her actions.

A husband and wife make joint decisions. When there is no husband, and the children are in the custody of the mother, the mother gets the full responsibility that would be shared with a husband and wife. She is the one walking around naked, not the BF, so why do you feel her rights are diminished by not having a husband?

And what if she marries him. Does that change things? I don't see why it should make a difference, morally, since it is just a legal agreement.

Basically, there is just no grounds here...as long as they aren't asking the children to do anything sexual, taking pictures of the children, or letting the children watch, and not doing it on public property...it's within the realm of discretion.

I see my post was skirted over.



Ok.