Careless Nudity

A husband and wife make joint decisions. When there is no husband, and the children are in the custody of the mother,[/B] the mother gets the full responsibility that would be shared with a husband and wife. She is the one walking around naked, not the BF, so why do you feel her rights are diminished by not having a husband?

I didn't say her rights were dimished by not having a husband. And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't put words in my mouth I didn't say.

What I said was..she needs to have enough respect for her daughters not to go prancing around naked in front of them. That just because they were of the same sex, doesn't make it right. It embarrasses the girls. That in itself should be enough to cause her to put some clothes on.

And you need to go back and reread Val's post on lying in the GF's bed, while she pranced around naked in front of them. Do you honestly think that he was lying there fully clothed, while she was naked? Therefore...if anyone had any decency, they should have atleast shut the door, or waited for them to be asleep, weren't at home, or gone elsewhere.

And what if she marries him. Does that change things? I don't see why it should make a difference, morally, since it is just a legal agreement.

No..not really. A stepfather has a role, a line that he shouldn't cross, and I still believe there is a time and place for everything. The only thing I think it might change and make more acceptable is the fact that he is lying in her bed. He'd then have a right to be there.

Basically, there is just no grounds here...as long as they aren't asking the children to do anything sexual, taking pictures of the children, or letting the children watch, and not doing it on public property...it's within the realm of discretion.

How in the hell is it discrete if mom's BF is lying in her bed, within plain view of the three daughters, while mom is prancing around naked in the house, not to count, the one daughter covered his eyes? This tells me, that while lying in mom's bed...the daughter crawled up there also...which neither one had any business sharing at that point! Discrete is keeping their sex life to themselves, private, behind closed doors. Not sharing each time they had sex with the daughters.

I don't know whether you married or not, but I'm presuming that you are niether married, nor have children, because you do not see anything wrong in this behavior.

I see my post was skirted over.



Ok.

first of all, did you miss the part where I said it would probably be disturbing for the children? No, I'm quite aware of the fact that you wrote that. I agree.

i also find religion disturbing (more so), but I'm not advocating parents who teach their children religion to have their children removed by child services. If it goes to the point of abuse, which some children have suffered at the hands of religous zealots, then by all means, remove the child.

do you see the point? No... not the one your attempting to make.

as parents, it's their right to raise their children how they want, as long as it's not abusive. I agree with you on this statement.

Yes they could. Someone of my extended family was accused, and among the things they got him on was taking a shower with his child [..] and for having her walk in the room with his girlfriend having her boobs exposed in bed, which he'd cheerfully admitted to.

He paid for many thousands of dollars of therapy because of those events

My oldest son is 12, would it be appropriate for me to walk around naked in front of him? [..] If I was to do that, and people found out, the first thing they would do is place a call to Child protection services, and quite frankly, I wouldn't blame them.

What complication might this inflict on their psyche years later? Turn them into uneducated tarts????

You have no business being in her bed, naked or dressed, while those girls are home, I don't care what stage of the relationship you are in. Your not married to her

MMS clearly states that if seeing the parent(s) naked embarasses or humiliates the children, then THAT is emotionally abusive.

Boyfriend's in the bed, wearing God know what-- if anything, and mom's parading around starkers. That makes for a sexually charged and potentially very psychologically damaging atmosphere, IMO.

Are you kidding?? Call the Child protection because a kid sees his/her parent naked?

Kids grow up into "uneducated tarts" because they saw their parent naked??

If you didnt sound so passionate I would have thought you were joking. As things stand, you obviously are not. OK, so you have different values and opinions on raising children, fine. I dont like some ways parents raise their children either - I dont like cjhsa taking his kids shooting, for example. But calling the Child protection agency? Having kids taken away from their parents - because they have seen them naked?

Again, do you know how many thousands of families go to nudist places on holidays, for example? You are saying all these kids are de facto being "emotionally abused" that way? That those families should all be split up by the authorities? You must not be thinking this through.

Like - unless anyone is proposing cjhsa's kids to be taken away from him too, which would be crazy and which I assume noone is doing - that means that the message here is - a parent taking his kids out shooting is ok or disapprovable but no reason to call child protection - but a parent who's seen naked by her kid - call the cops, have the kid taken away from her?

You miss the point, I think, nimh. MMS clearly states that if seeing the parent(s) naked embarasses or humiliates the children, then THAT is emotionally abusive. I concur. Furthermore, it's clear that this isn't just an innocent, la-di-da, oh nudity is natural and wondrous, kind of a situation. Boyfriend's in the bed, wearing God know what-- if anything, and mom's parading around starkers. That makes for a sexually charged and potentially very psychologically damaging atmosphere, IMO.

Fortunately, we don't all seem to possess your seemingly cosmopolitan sensibilities!

No sex without marriage for single parents? I didn't say that. Or they can only have some on special trips outside the house, if and when they have managed to arrange childminders for the evening? And you're really not kidding?

Let me tell you something. There is a time and place for everything. I was the product of a divorced couple Nimh. When my mother divorced, she had boyfriends. But it was taken outside the home, or brought into our home when we went to stay with our father on the weekends. Us girls were not involved in her affairs. If we were, it was dinner, watch a movie..and they left. She even had a man live in our home for over a year. It come as a surprise to us, because we never knew he had been there until they married, and some years later she told us. We were not involved in her affairs in that manner. I do respect my mother for that much. She didn't involve us in her tit 4 tat.

To myself, that is the respectable way to do it. We were 6 and 3. My mother had a life, but she lived it with us, while we were with her, and when we were gone, she done as she pleased.

Let me tell you something.

My mother was single for almost twenty years from her divorce. Whe was about my age when she divorced (!) - just thirty three!

She never found a new man to marry. But of course she occasionally had a boyfriend. I mean, she was thirtythree when she divorced.

Now if you had had a say over it, she would have had to stay celibate apart from special visits away from the house.

Well, I'm glad you didnt.

My mom had a relationship for a number of years, and when he came over (my sister and I were teens) we had the decency and tact to spend the later evening in our own rooms.

You had the decency and tact to leave the room? PFFT! I'm talking nudity Nimh, not eating dinner...

And luckily there was no one wagging her finger telling her that as a single mum she did not have the right to have sex in her own home - and moreover, that if she did, she deserved to have her kids taken away from her ( ). PFFT! I never said that! I never said she didn't have the right to have sex in her own home. But she needs to have enough repect for herself and her daughters that they shouldn't be able to keep a tally on the amount or number of orgasms their mother has had.

If anyone woulda said that, I would have wanted to slap them for their sheer stupidity. I mean, Seriously.

PS - Now I dont get the thing with the abusive stepfather living next door - and she still living there with her kids, and being naked in his view at that. On that count I agree - thats just weird. I dont understand really, or/and am not to sure whether to believe it in the first place. So I'm just not touching that.

That in itself oughta tell you that something is amiss here.

blacksmithn wrote:
MMS clearly states that if seeing the parent(s) naked embarasses or humiliates the children, then THAT is emotionally abusive.

Blacksmith come on. Kids can be, as Soz said, embarassed to death by their mom wearing the wrong brand of jeans. Or, horror of horrors, dancing (!).

Now I agree a nice and thoughtful mum would go out of her way sometimes not to do those things. But "emotional abuse" if she doesnt? Thats stretching the term to dangerous limits. If we are going to use the label "abuse" for embarassing your child with something, the whole term loses its meaning, and it will go at the detriment of fighting parents who do actually do their child serious harm.

HA! Nimh..were not talking about brands of jeans. Hell if that were the case, my child would be totally embarrassed any given day. Yes, children embarrass easily. But being humiliated by thier mothers nudity is emotional abuse. If it were a one time thing, BIG WHOOP! But were talking about an excess amount of nudity, multiple times.

blacksmithn wrote:
Boyfriend's in the bed, wearing God know what-- if anything, and mom's parading around starkers. That makes for a sexually charged and potentially very psychologically damaging atmosphere, IMO.

Hasnt every kid walked into his parents sometime? Yes, mine have. Him in bed, naked perhaps but sheets drawn up, her standing naked, is that such an outrageous situation? It can be, dependent on how it is handled. Seems fairly run-of-the-mill to me. Run of the mill my ass. "Very pychologically damaging"? Oy vey. Reason to call in Child Protection? Thats just criminal.

If that's all the described situation represents to you, then you'll never get the point