okay so maybe i am a little bit immoral and selfish but...

So what's your point?

You f*cked some guy...and?

and on the point of becoming his bloody mistress, not something i want to be. But by the same token the sex is good. and i get the feeling he's marrried this women is not his girlfriend.

It was kinda weird being picked up and seeing a pram in the back of the car

Basically to say adeus sucker! and leave him and his family alone. But by the same token I wanna sleep with him again and he wants me to sleep with him again but I'm thinking i wouldn't wanna be in the postion of his family

So, how many other women is he doing this to, or has he done this to?

Not to be too blunt about it (actually, I want to be blunt about it, kiddo): he sounds experienced in this sort of thing. May or may not have an open marriage or relationship, but so what. If you don't want to be a mistress, then fine, don't be a mistress. Is he hanging around your town or will he be outta there soon? If he's leaving soon, this is unfortunate for his family but you don't seem to harbor too much remorse over them.

But I am going to suggest that, since he was rarin' to go while the family was away, that this isn't, shall we say, his first rodeo. You might want to get yourself checked out. I'm totally serious. The guy might be carrying more than a pram around, if you know what I mean.

If he's going to stay in the area, then you should understand that there are more ramifications to this fling than there would be if there wasn't a family involved. Even if you don't give a damn about the girlfriend/wife/whoever, you should at least stop and be considerate of the child, who is attached to this guy, like it or not, regardless of what he's doing and regardless of his relationship with the mother. And then consider whether you want to continue, whether the sex is worth it. Perhaps it is, at this stage of your life, but by the same token you'll probably find yourself regretting this at some time in the future, if it goes any further. I mean, just for practicality's sake, don't you want to be with a person who's available to you when you want? Sneaking around -- even if you don't think it's degrading -- is just plain inconvenient. Decide if you want to be doing that.

no the man is no saint Jespah I agree, probably mister Don Juan in person, yeah the kid is a concern. Especially because he told me that after the family go I can come spend weekends there. He's working here for about a year or so. Well i don't plan on being faithfull to him either, i'm not too cornced with sexual fidelity when dealing with a man like him.

But when the sex is that hot it's like a drug, and maybe i should stay away from something like that don't want to get addcited to Senhor married spaniard, the other thing is somebody will get attached some where and i doubt this cowboy is going to be the one getting attached.

Funny though because when i told him that if he phones me and I say sorry can't see you, I'm with another man he threw his arms up and went NO NO NO NO! that's no good, but he told me that if i phone him and he's with his wife i must understand... yeah right. Anyway I have deleted his number off my phone. If he calls me that might open pandora's box though

No good will come of this tagged lyricist....however, that's not going to stop you.

However, in 10 or 20 years when you are married, you will always be alert when sweet young things talk to your husband.

Been there, done that.

Fidelity feels a lot different when you're on the other end.




This guy may be the greatest sex you'll ever have in your life, but he's a sneaky lousy bastard.

Frankly, if I was the girlfriend, I'd finish him off then come after you.

Lesson for the future, since you can't change the past....when a man admits to you early on he is married or involved...do not say a word, stand up and walk away.

Oh, and that "separated" bullshit...let him know when the divorce is final to look for you.

Separated my ass.

I'm speechless... I wanna go screw you guys i'm gonna do what i want and I don't care judge away. by the same token theres a part of me that' like you are all so right and i'm a little tiny bit higher up on the scale of prostitute. And ontop of all that I have an obsession with novel experience.

Well, then here's more that should really floor you....

neither Jespah or I are judging you...we're just 2 old broads that have seen it all. Or at least have had a lot more experience in this area than you.

What, you think you're the only one who thinks about the greatest f*ck they ever had, and acted on it when you should have?

I don't care about you personally in this story tagged...actually, I like you enough to lay it on the line as to what is going to happen.

No ones gonna stop you, just want you to know how it's going to turn out.

It's gonna be a **** storm any way it goes.

I'm not gonna tell you to put yourself in his mates shoes....she should leave the jack off also....but remember YOU are the "other woman" with no rights, not her.

You think he's going to give up his son forever for a brief fling?

Here's real blunt tagged....you're not a person to him....you're an available pussy.

Hey...welcome back by the way...missed ya.

tagged,
He doesn't want you with other men bc it may be inconvient to him...what if he is ready to f*ck and you are busy? oh my! Poor baby would have to wait. He doesn't want that. He wants you to mold around to his life.

I've done my share of selfish, immoral, and downright stupid things.
I don't judge you...but I want you to be safe. I'm a little older, and these choices tend to come back to haunt when you find someone you really do love and want to be with (lordy, i'm even thinking of kids nowadays lol)

The thing about indulging in selfishness/lust is that one tends to end up 1)hurting someone who really does care or
2) getting taken along for a bad ride, with un foreseen concequences

#2 is what I see happening here.

This guy is like a piece of candy. But, tagged, I promise you - he ain't worth the price.
He's the candy with twelve kinds of tax, payments you never saw coming, ...rip off, basically.

He can't be that fine. There's more out there.

Huh?

Noone is judging you.

They are calling that man as he is... A cheater.

A cheater who could be screwing MANY other people with no protection,
possibly leaving you with the shitty stick , holding a bottle of penicillin trying to fight off gonorrhea, chlamydia, or worse.


Basicaly , the thread theme has been " he is a dirty whore who could be giving you a disease, or possibly making your life a living hell"

why do you think people are judging you ?


Actually.. I am surprised that noone HAS judged you.
Most of the times, when someone posts a story like yours, people trash the woman.


In this case, it is the don juan-not.

How come in this kind of thread people always assuming the girl didnt use any protection? "He'll give you all kinds of diseases", that kind of thing? You think she's stupid?

Another thing - several people here warning that he isnt worth the price - that she'll be taken along for the ride if she expects any kind of worthwhile relationship out of this. But I didnt hear her say anything about relationship. Just about a good f*ck.

nimh's right. If tagged was a 21 year old guy, the advice would be a bit different don't you think? She's young. She will get hurt or she won't. Seems to me she's got her eyes open. She knows this guy's a turd.

I echo the protection advice. I'd give the same advice to anyone.

I agree with you, nimh. Only with one difference - even a ****, especially drug-addictive fucks, have a price.

I'd give my same advice to a 21 yr old guy. It's easy to not see beyond the moment, a month, a year.

This kinda **** can come back to haunt a person - and not just with disease.

There's also something about young women - yes, I'm generalizing - that even though they 'say' they just want a ****, it is ever so rarely true - there's usually more to it, and who hasn't seen so many fool themself cause they want to?.

that's all i have to say. Live n' learn, I guess.

I've been on both sides of this. I've not always been any kind of sane, but I'm also not apologetic about my experience. I've learned some tidbits.

So, I see Tagged as wanting to push herself to experience real excitement, very open to it, unwary. so keyed up as to lie.. that excitement is most important in a given minute, a you are here time. You'll have conflicting feelings, Tag.

There is a certain braggadoccio in Tag's post and a certain savvy lecturing coming back at her. Most of those posters aren't - so far - lecturing.. they just see futility writ large.

Futility adds up. You learn to not go there, if only for self involved reasons.



Ah, but this is only one side of it. Life is long and love is good. Mostly.
Actual love is another discussion.

Men have always been encouraged to sow wild oats--a grain that yields no crop.

Tagged is sowing wild oats with a man who could be called a Cheating SOB or a Continental Roue.

As long as she reserves the rights--and uses the rights--to ignore his phone calls because she's with another man her chances of a broken heart are limited.

I'm guessing that the SOB/Roue has a highly compartmentalized heart.

His Significant Other doesn't deserve betrayal--but she picked this guy to sire her child.

If you try to harvest wild oats, you wind up with a cart load of weeds--perhaps with wisdom, perhaps not.

Use protection--physical and emotional.

okay well all I can say is OF COURSE I USED PROTECTION the chump has a kid! Besides i'm a GP's child and i live in afirica baby were nothing is safe.

Been reading the posts and it's reall intresting. I thank Nimh for being brave enough to say what he said and Noddy. I mean I'm not stupid just a bit of a hedonist.

I've always wanted to sleep with a guy from spain ( a guy from Italy, a guy from greece, a guy from turkey, a guy from argenitina, a guy from brazil) I mean I have a little bit of a strange sexual aspiration list. I openly admit that if Fabio Cannavaro italian football captian, who's married with kids asked me to jump in the sack with him I most definitely would. Maybe there too much man in me, if some one is hot and then even better hotter in bed I want more of that on a physical level. In fact on several occasions Senhor Spaniard got really pissed off with me because he tried to pull his continental chessyness( romantic trash) on me, and i just laughed and told him i could never reach his levels of lowness reffering to his cheating self. I mean he asked me if i love him and I kissed him on the forward and said no I don't you got some one for that. instert another spanish shrug

I think Cannavaro is a cutie too.

Still, the notching thing...
well, slaps self, I won't lecture.

Some of us have our own notches, and some were wise enough to not go there in the first place. Notch numbers?

Surely you are hungry, which a lot of us can understand, having been there.

I'm not any good at advice since my mode is - or I mean it to be - just to listen to other people, and express my own opinions as they happen to occur.

I see you as kind of frantic., from this and other posts, and don't know how to help. This guy isn't any answer, though I'm not as neg on him as others. (Or am I? probably)

I can only suggest a stronger sense of yourself, but those are just so many words at this point.

why is it if you like to have fun you must be inseure? Notching no not really just desires. I'm not looking for a boyfriend. I go to FTV cafe with sole purpose of flirting with rich gorgeous foreigners and maybe sleep with the exceptionally beautiful ones. I don't see life as a black and white affair.

Osso- you right but not frantic hyper active! I'm acused by everyone for having too much energy.

Sorry. No need for all those fancy words, IMO.

You're horny and want to do what you want. Nothing more, nothing less.

My opinion, you come across as quite arrogant and full of yourself. Have you gotten in a female-female fight yet?

The higher ya go, sister, the harder the crash down. Buy some tylenol.

ohhh..and no point labelling yourself immoral if you plan on continuing the behavior...that's kind of setting yourself up for pain.

(shutting up now, maybe)