I think my gf might be pregnant. Please help.

Just make sure you're not jumping into anything

I'm not. I'm just saying were just so happy together!!!

um....andrew....?

are you just gonna keep coming on here every few days saying this?

I mean, fine....but you know....you can talk about something else....if you want....even on another thread....

thanks Chai I was beginning to wonder about that myself.

I wonder if those every other day posts are after sex glows...

It makes one wonder doesn't it?

No, it isnt.

***FINAL UPDATE***

We broke up 3 days ago, because she told me that she only liked me as a friend, and didnt love me this whole time. The reason she broke up with me is to go out with my best friend. So, I'm really hurting today. Today, would have been 4 months. I'm really hurting today. She said she only liked me as a friend, and was only using me so she wouldnt been alone. I feel really bad, and I don't think I will find anyone else, that I will really love like I did and still do her.

Now, now.

Today isn't the day to think about the forever future. Right now, it just hurts that you broke up. And you're allowed to mourn the loss. It's okay, really. First loves can be very painful when they end.

But that's why they're first loves. They're not last loves.

When I was 14, I broke up with the first guy I ever said "I love you" to and I thought, okay, that's it, it's all over for me. Y'know what? I found someone else. And another and later, others. I finally settled down and really and truly fell in love when I was 26. We've been married for over 14 years. I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I'd married my sweetheart from 12 years before that, or any of the others in between.

So what I'm saying is, this is unfortunate, and you have every right to feel badly about it, but don't toss out the future and just assume it's all downhill from here. It's true -- you won't love anyone like you loved this girl. And you won't love anyone like the next girl you fall in love with, or the next. It's always different. That doesn't mean it's better or worse, it's just different.

It's going to be okay. Really. You're going to recover from this and you'll be fine. You'll get there. I have every confidence in you.

I'm so sorry, Andrew. You deserved better than to be used that way.

The good news is...

Now you know that you really are capable of loving someone deeply. Not everyone is, you know. This means that having a long, happy, loving future with someone is possible for you.

And...you're no longer stuck with someone who doesn't love you! Now you're free to find someone who will appreciate you for the wonderful, honest, giving guy you are. Believe me, there are more women than we can count who are looking for someone like you!

Give yourself some time to mourn, it's important.

Think back on the times when you might have had an idea that she wasn't as serious as you, but in your happiness you suppressed that thought. (It has happened to all of us. Amazing what gut reactions we choose to ignore when we're "in love.") There were probably all sorts of hints that she wasn't in it for keeps. Either that, or she was an excellent liar. Either way, she's not the sort you'd want to build a future with. Coming to terms with these things is part of the grief process...then you can move on.

And you WILL move on. It will happen. Just give it time.

(((((HUGS)))))

I treated her so good and everything. I really miss her right now, and it really hurt to see her walking with him. Maybe I need to change, and start smoking, drinking, getting into trouble and quit being a all around nice guy. Maybe that's another reason why she left me. She told me all the time in letters that she wasn't going to let me go and stuff, and told me that she loved me so much. But, she lied the whole time. I don't think I will ever find anyone that will love me. Maybe I'm just not meant to be with anyone. I really will NEVER find anyone else. I really hate my life.

I know you're feeling badly, but self-destructive behavior is not going to help here; it's just going to make you feel worse.

I know, but it's just hard to believe that I'm not going to be with her anymore. I haven't ate in 4 days, and I don't really do anything but cry anymore. When I saw her walking with him, it really hit me hard, and I don't think I will ever find anyone else. I mean, I got a date tonight with another girl but I don't know how I am going to react to that.

Then just go out with this other girl as a friend, and only for a short time, say, an hour or less. Tell her up front that you're feeling sad (or at least not well) and you just want to do something quiet, like sit and listen to music. It's good to be out with people -- I'd argue that this is early, but if you are up to it, even for a little while, it could be good for you.

Have you spoken with anyone at home about how you're feeling? Parents? Siblings? Friends? A teacher or other trusted adult? Your pastor, if you have one? One thing about sadness is, it weighs on you. It actually feels heavy. It's helpful to share the burden. We don't mind listening here, of course, but you might also want to seek out someone close by, too.

Well, we went out tonight and well lets just say I thought of her a whole lot while I was this girl tonight. I about cried and everything. I'm home now and doing nothing but crying right now. I'll never get over her and I wont rest till I'm back with her.

You are very disappointed. You developed your emotions over something that was apparently not felt by both sides. This happens to most of the human race at some point.

You are extremely self dramatic right now. Lift your head and look around you. First of all, you are looking for a partner in life, not this situation you were recently in.

Just trying to fall in love with the next person in one day will get you nowhere fast.

Rest. Get reacquainted with yourself. Breathe deep, go for walks. Stop it with the Nobody Will Ever Love Me stuff.

Andrew

I'm sorry for your loss.

I've had many such losses - not all girlfriends who I thought I "loved" as such, but I often reflected on the fact that it was the hope of a perfect relationship which I was mourning rather than the girl/woman herself.

If this is the way she treats you, you deserve better. You have been clear with her about your feelings and consistent in that. She has not.

Do you really want to be with someone who has done this to you? She may have been great to be with for a while but to be with for some time/forever, you need to have more trust than you can now have with this girl, so my advice is:

Realise that it hurts
Ask yourself if you would REALLY want her back
Consider if you are mourning the hope not the girl

I hope this advice helps and I know what your pain feels like. It's not every boy/man who can talk about it and you have. That makes you one who women will appreciate in future. Hey, you've got a date already!

Big hugs (in a straight, manly way, in case you think that's weird!)

KP

Today, I've been better. I've been out and had a good time with my cousins and friends. I think I'm starting to move on, but I'm totally not sure. I sit down with my parents and I talked to them about what happened. Well, they said I don't need her and I'm better off without her because she would try to control me, and make me do everything. So, I guess I am better off without here. This Friday, there is another girl that wants to talk to me and I'm meeting her at the movies.

Andrew, I'm sorry that you seem to be in so much pain, but let me tell ya sumthin'...enjoy life while you can. You don't want to look back one day and wonder at what all you might of missed out on, trust me, your talking to someone that married at the ripe old age of 16! Even though I'm one of very few that still remain married (over 19 years) I have my moments, where I would love to be wild and free...date who I want, come home when I want, not have to be held accountable for a damned thing...but thats the decision I made in life. Right now, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but do like I said, "Enjoy it while you can, and have no regrets about the what if's, I could've, I should've, or I didn't...later on down the road.

I know, but I really loved her, and I just can't imagine myself with anyone else. I really miss her and I will never be anyone else that I will really love like I did her. She was the one that I wanted to be with, and now I'm not with her. . I will not rest till we are back together.